Log In

Home
    - Create Journal
    - Update
    - Download

LiveJournal
    - News
    - Paid Accounts
    - Contributors

Customize
    - Customize Journal
    - Create Style
    - Edit Style

Find Users
    - Random!
    - By Region
    - By Interest
    - Search

Edit ...
    - Personal Info &
      Settings
    - Your Friends
    - Old Entries
    - Your Pictures
    - Your Password

Developer Area

Need Help?
    - Lost Password?
    - Freq. Asked
      Questions
    - Support Area



Dan Fogelberg's ([info]llama_treats) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-02-27 13:03:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:I put on my wizard hat...

Jesus sez "I'll Be Back"
So, you may or may not know about James Cameron's foray into the the "tomb of Jesus". (I'll get right on sending over that Jesus DNA I have in my attic so you can compare the strands, okay James? Oh, wait. That's Elvis' sweat.)

Cue Christians vs. atheists, Israel vs. Palestine, OogaBoogaing, L. Ron Hubbard, and one strange fellow donning his robe and wizard hat in the comments (supposedly, he gives you a good time if you call).

Oy.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]rotten_fish
2007-02-27 07:45 pm UTC (link)
But - I'm so confused. What are they comparing the DNA to? Did Cameron buy God's magic pubic hairs at the local Yarn for Ewe or something?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]llama_treats
2007-02-27 07:46 pm UTC (link)
They're comparing it to the DNA of the last scion - oh, wait. Wrong director.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]greenling
2007-02-27 07:53 pm UTC (link)
They're trying to find mystical kabbalistic analogies, of course.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tehrin
2007-02-27 07:55 pm UTC (link)
Magical Jesus Juice, perhaps.

I mean communal wine that is tranformed into blood. Not semen. Dirty people.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]doomsday
2007-02-27 07:57 pm UTC (link)
They're going to find a mosquito that bit Jesus right before he died. They'll fill in any gaps with frog DNA, of course.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]marciamarcia
2007-02-27 08:04 pm UTC (link)
Little known fact: If you stand very still, Jesus can't see you.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]doomsday
2007-02-27 08:08 pm UTC (link)
Jesus' arms are disproportionately small for his body, though they are quite muscular.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-02-27 08:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-02-27 08:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-02-27 08:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mythdefied, 2007-02-27 09:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-02-28 06:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]itsirtou, 2007-02-27 10:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cjk, 2007-02-28 12:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2007-02-28 05:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-02-28 09:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]penguinfaery, 2007-02-27 08:44 pm UTC

[info]lindentreeisle
2007-02-27 08:13 pm UTC (link)
ha ha!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


ealusaid
2007-02-27 08:06 pm UTC (link)
*sporfle!* Win.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mindset
2007-02-27 09:37 pm UTC (link)
I'm slightly disturbed to see this thread has recreated the Raptor Jesus meme, presumably without prior knowledge of it...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]vigilanterodent
2007-02-27 11:02 pm UTC (link)
Our version of Judiahraptor messiahisis seems way cooler, anyway.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]marciamarcia, 2007-02-27 11:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-02-28 12:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marciamarcia, 2007-02-28 01:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-02-28 06:20 am UTC

[info]vigilanterodent
2007-02-27 08:12 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I kinda wondered about that too. See, I was under the impression that Jesua, Joseph, Jofa and Judah were all pretty commonplace male names during that timeperiod, and judging by the Bible every other woman was named Mary, so, uh . . .

I mean, my great-grandfather was named George and his wife was Martha, and that doesn't make me descended from General Washington.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]puipui
2007-02-28 02:10 am UTC (link)
I mean, my great-grandfather was named George and his wife was Martha, and that doesn't make me descended from General Washington.

Sure it does. You're 6'20" and kill for fun, right? Totally genetic.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]visp
2007-02-28 03:48 am UTC (link)
A, but does she save British children?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-02-28 04:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2007-02-28 10:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]scootermcgaffin, 2007-02-28 01:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lindentreeisle, 2007-02-28 08:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fionnabhair, 2007-03-02 05:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lindentreeisle, 2007-03-02 06:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fionnabhair, 2007-03-03 03:57 am UTC

[info]hangingfire
2007-02-27 09:18 pm UTC (link)
I think the idea is that they're comparing the DNA among the different samples, to determine parent-child relationships.

But the other answers ahead of me were funnier.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]oar
2007-02-27 10:01 pm UTC (link)
Pfft, comparison? Don't you see? They're going to clone Jesus! And he'll totally come out Caucasian, too.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]cinnamonical
2007-02-28 12:51 am UTC (link)
But only ghei couples will have any use for cloning! And if you clone something (especially from the sperm of two ghei men) you'll produce the Antichrist! LaHaye and Jenkins say so, so it must be true!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]oar, 2007-02-28 02:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cinnamonical, 2007-02-28 02:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shark, 2007-02-28 04:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cinnamonical, 2007-02-28 04:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shark, 2007-02-28 04:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oar, 2007-02-28 06:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-02-28 03:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sithwitch13, 2007-02-28 02:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cinnamonical, 2007-02-28 02:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sithwitch13, 2007-02-28 02:49 am UTC
D: - [info]sadako, 2007-02-28 03:10 pm UTC
Re: D: - [info]cinnamonical, 2007-02-28 03:14 pm UTC

[info]april_hurst
2007-02-28 12:33 am UTC (link)
Maybe his DNA spells out special messages in its base sequences. Not that you can get much more complicated than "CAT TAG" out of the letters...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]marciamarcia
2007-02-28 01:03 am UTC (link)
You're it!

Mrrrrow!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]semirecluse
2007-02-28 04:23 am UTC (link)
Jesus-DNA reads "YHWH," trufax.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]khym_chanur
2007-02-28 01:03 am UTC (link)
The Y-chromosome doesn't change much from one generation to the next, so if Jesus had a son, who had a son, who had a son, and so on, down to the present day, then that present day male descendant would have a matching Y-chromosome. So all they have to do is... DNA test every single human male on the planet. No problem, really!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]vigilanterodent
2007-02-28 01:20 am UTC (link)
Most modern Western Europeans are descendants of Charlemagne, and a pretty hefty percentage of Eastern Europeans have Genghis Khan in their family tree if you go back far enough.

As Jesus's DNA had a jumpstart on both of these fine fellows, if Our Zombie Savior did have offspring, then quite possibly most of Europe and the Middle East are his descendants.

. . . Which would actually be pretty awesome in a way.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2007-02-28 03:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2007-02-28 07:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wickedwitch, 2007-02-28 02:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2007-02-28 03:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]perletwo, 2007-02-28 04:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2007-02-28 01:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2007-02-28 11:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rotten_fish, 2007-03-01 07:43 pm UTC

[info]the_clichemoth
2007-03-01 11:15 am UTC (link)
From what I understand (I haven't followed this too closely, but my local morning talk radio show has been discussing it when they're not gushing about how awesome To Catch A Predator is), there's a relic that's supposed to be the point of the actual spear a Roman soldier stabbed Jesus with during the whole crucifixion process and the aforementioned relic has blood on it. That is the basis of comparison.

And yes, people have talked about cloning Jesus. Personally, I think human cloning should be allowed in that one instance only because that would cause so much hilarious wank that you'd have to wipe the whole universe off with a towel afterwards.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]rotten_fish
2007-03-01 07:42 pm UTC (link)
Well, that's pretty hard to believe. You'd think it'd decay, after all, not to mention there's like four spears out there right now and each have some church backing it as the real thing. :\

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]suzycat, 2007-03-11 08:57 am UTC

[info]nightfalltwen
2007-03-02 08:31 pm UTC (link)
Nuh uh! That was buried in Mexico until Keanu Reeves got it back and gave it to Rachel Weiss to hide it. I seen it in a movie. And its not like she'd go back and hide it in the tomb again.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the_clichemoth, 2007-03-02 09:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightfalltwen, 2007-03-02 09:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_clichemoth, 2007-03-02 09:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightfalltwen, 2007-03-02 09:18 pm UTC

(Read comments) -

 
   
Privacy Policy - COPPA
Legal Disclaimer - Site Map