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SoM ([info]somnambulicious) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-02-28 17:15:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
He's got beef. Expensive beef. KOBE beef!
Meet Jeffrey Chodorow: financier, restauranteur, failed reality TV star, and convicted felon. If you've heard of him, it's probably because of his short but memorable run on the reality TV series "The Restaurant."

Chodorow's latest restaurant, Kobe, recently received a less-than-stellar review from critic Frank Bruni in the New York Times. Actually, it received a stunning zero stars.

Although Kobe Club does right by the fabled flesh for which it’s named, it presents too many insipid or insulting dishes at prices that draw blood from anyone without a trust fund or an expense account.

Le gasp! Chodorow cannot take this lying down! Does he write a letter to the editor? Quietly work to improve the soggy iceberg lettuce? Smack Bruni across the face with a white glove and demand satisfaction? Spit on his prime rib?

No. He takes out a $80,000 ad in the Times for his tl;dr response.

(Full text here because the original is only available in .pdf format.)

Mr. Pete Wells,
Editor Dining In/Dining Out,
The New York Times

Dear Mr. Wells:

Recently I opened a restaurant in New York City called Kobe Club on west 58th street. It is a restaurant I am particularly proud of. It features, not surprisingly, the fi nest Japanese, Australian, and American Wagyu (“Kobe” and “Kobe style” beef) available in this country, as well as traditional and non-traditional American prime beef and other steakhouse fare. I and my staff worked extremely hard on this project and the response has been, frankly (no pun intended), overwhelmingly positive. People love it, well, most people. Three of New York’s and the country’s most important and respected critics loved it — Gael Greene of New York Magazine 1, Bob Lape of Crain’s 2 and John Mariani, restaurant critic for, among others, Esquire Magazine 3. These critics have over 80 years of combined restaurant critique experience and I invite you and anyone reading this letter to read their comments in full. Unfortunately, based on his comments in his recent review of Kobe Club (February 7, 2007) in your newspaper, your “critic,” Frank Bruni, did not. I was surprised but not shocked. As anyone who read the review can see, the review was as much or more about me than it was the restaurant (as opposed to the three reviews referenced above which were solely about the restaurant). Ever since my ill-fated collaboration with Rocco DiSpirito on the TV show, The Restaurant, critics for the New York Times (and certain other publications) have been very hard on me. This was no exception. Admittedly, there was that one errant clam (out of a 3-tier seafood tower). Unfortunately, bad clams happen... occasionally, but how does a review in which the main player, Kobe beef, is acknowledged by Mr. Bruni to be perfectly prepared, warrant zero stars?

I don’t know what I actually did to engender these personal attacks on me. I opened Rocco’s with the best of intentions. After all, what’s a better story than a talented avant-garde chef going back to his roots to cook the food he grew up on with the mother he loves. I also love my mother so it was easy for me to be seduced by the idea. I don’t think anybody could have predicted that outcome.

After Rocco’s, I opened Caviar & Banana in the Rocco’s space — bad name, great restaurant. Almost everyone who ate there loved it, but the critics killed it before it could develop enough critical mass. Some called it the Rocco’s curse. In fact, I was going to walk away from that space and its karma, but decided not to for one simple reason — there were a lot of great people who worked at Rocco’s and I was determined to keep them employed. I failed, with the Times’ help. Fortunately I can afford to take the hit; most restaurateurs couldn’t. As unusual as it was to have had the ghost of Rocco’s haunting every review of Caviar & Banana, I am even more at a loss as to the signifi cance it has to Kobe Club.

This time, fortunately, the vitriolic comments come too late... Kobe Club is booming. Even a rival publication commented that same Wednesday, in an article lamenting the bastardization of the traditional steakhouse genre by these non-steakhouse steakhouses, that two of these offenders, Quality Meats and Kobe Club, across the street from one another on west 58th street, were mobbed, the former, in part, because people were unable to get into the latter. I open restaurants for people, not critics. Kobe Club, with its 2000 samurai swords dangling blade-down, and its over-the-top luxe menu is not for everyone, but do we really need another traditional steakhouse in New York City?

Why then, one might ask, did I need to take out this full-page ad? For two reasons. First, and foremost, you need to understand that, as often happens, the intended target (in this case, me) does not get injured — innocent bystanders do. I have been too successful and battle-hardened to be affected by this, but my restaurant staff, who are some of the nicest, most hard-working people I have ever worked with are affected, and they deserve an apology. They have created a great restaurant, and you should have critics on your staff that celebrate and support the efforts of people who work in New York in one of the most diffi cult and demanding industries there is. Criticize, but do it fairly, honestly and objectively and through people with credentials, like the three bona fi de critics listed above.

This brings me to my second reason for writing this letter. A couple of years ago, my wife and I attended a restaurant preview dinner at which we were randomly seated with a former food critic for the NY Times and his wife, he having recently left his position at the Times. They were extremely pleasant and my wife, out of curiosity, asked his wife where they like to have dinner, now that her husband is no longer the NY Times food critic. His wife replied that they live in Queens and eat mostly at home. She told my wife that before her husband became the food critic for the Times, they almost never went out to dinner. He was a great writer, I’m sure, as is Mr. Bruni. But, they are not really food critics, at least any more than any of us who eat out regularly. Mr. Bruni comes to us from Rome where he was not the local “expert” on Italian cuisine; he wrote about politics. In fact, there hasn’t been a real food critic with food background (except perhaps Amanda Hesser) at the New York Times since Ruth Reichl (now editor-in-chief at Gourmet magazine). Perhaps that’s also why your reviews are so all over the lot, with great restaurants getting bad reviews, fair restaurants getting great ones, one star reviews that read like two star and three star reviews that read like one star.

Your readers would not expect your drama critic to have no background in drama or your architecture critic to not be an architect. For a publication that prides itself on integrity, I feel your readers should be better informed as to this VERY IMPORTANT fact, so that they can give your reviews the weight, or lack thereof, they deserve. In the interest of fairness, I am also introducing my personal blog, which will be a compilation of my food-related experiences and musings and a special section entitled Following Frank and After Adam, in which I will make a follow-up visit to restaurants they write about for the purpose of reviewing their reviews. My blog will appear at www.chinagrillmgt.com/blog. My friends in the restaurant business have warned me that there will be further retaliation against me for speaking up. So be it.

Cordially,

Jeffrey Chodorow


That's right, folks, a classic one-two punch! Chodorow's started a blog of his very own! Take that, New York Times!

Bruni, meanwhile, has been strangely silent about the whole sordid affair on his own blog, leaving folks wondering whether - and how - Bruni would respond.

The answer to that is more fabulously underhanded than anyone could have anticipated. In today's edition, Bruni gives another steakhouse a one-star review. All fine and dandy, except this one's in a strip club.

Or, as Anthony Bourdain puts it: "Even a freakin' strip club--where you get lap dances offered between courses is better than your soulless, overpriced meat-emporium. I'd rather spend time in a hot tub with Bob Guiccione than you!"

Folks continue to weigh in on the feud. It's sure to continue, but if displaying your persecution complex in an $80,000 ad isn't wanky, I don't know what is.

ETA: Eater notes that Bruni isn't the only target of Chodorow's letter. The response from Quality Meats is a thing of beauty.



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[info]qwertyuiop
2007-03-01 08:03 am UTC (link)
Holy crap, my mother works for that guy (although she works in corporate, and for what its worth, he is never really there so she has only meet him like a few times). I am debating telling my mother that she is working for a such an asshole, although from the way she describes things at work, I wouldn't be surprised if she already knew.

(Reply to this)


[info]aerobot
2007-03-01 10:15 am UTC (link)
*jawdrop*

You really have NOTHING ELSE to do with $80,000 dollars?!?

Fuck ME.

Dude, just forget the ad and buy a new Jaguar or something instead to make you feel better. Blimey.

(Reply to this)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-03-01 02:12 pm UTC (link)
Now I want a God-damned fillet steak. Steak diane! Mmmm. With red wine and garlic and onion and herbs. *sigh*

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]makeshyft
2007-03-01 04:07 pm UTC (link)
Meh, fillets are for the weak!

Real dead-flesh-eaters go rib-eye!

As it happens, there's a steakhouse in town that does this in-fucking-creadible dry cajun rub, served with crumbled blue cheese and fried onions on top.. gods, now I'm getting hungry.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2007-03-01 08:45 pm UTC
From the NY Post review of KC
[info]miraba
2007-03-01 04:26 pm UTC (link)
"'Frank Bruni's two booths over from you,' a manager whooped."

(Reply to this)(Thread)

First Read That as KFC
[info]pfeffermuse
2007-03-01 04:35 pm UTC (link)
And considering it's the New York Post, that wouldn't have been all that unbelievable.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: First Read That as KFC - [info]miraba, 2007-03-01 04:46 pm UTC
On a tangental note.. - [info]freezer, 2007-03-01 05:36 pm UTC
Re: On a tangental note.. - [info]hangingfire, 2007-03-01 08:52 pm UTC
Re: On a tangental note.. - [info]frequentmouse, 2007-03-01 08:53 pm UTC
Re: On a tangental note.. - [info]mmanurere, 2007-03-02 01:49 am UTC
Re: First Read That as KFC - [info]jerry_ds_girl, 2007-03-02 01:13 am UTC
Re: First Read That as KFC - [info]prettypinkkitty, 2007-03-03 02:40 am UTC
Re: First Read That as KFC - [info]jerry_ds_girl, 2007-03-03 07:57 am UTC
Bar Towel, Please
[info]pfeffermuse
2007-03-01 04:32 pm UTC (link)
As a native New Yorker, the only folks I know who go to these over-hyped, over-priced dives are those with a really nice expense account, money to burn or one of those once-in-a-lifetime expensive dining experiences for an anniversary, birthday, etc. (I used to include tourists, but considering so many of them devour the haute cuisine at the Times Square Olive Garden, my opinion on their taste (or lack thereof) has changed.)

Dining out in New York City has always been looking for the most delicious cuisine, yes, but at affordable, down-to-earth prices. The pierogies in that tiny little Hungarian restaurant in Ravenswood; the stuffed cabbage and corned beef at the Jewish deli on Second Avenue (since closed due to escalating rents); the knishes in Forest Hills; the sauerbraten in Glendale; the prix fixe French restaurant on the Upper East side; the down-home Southern/soul cooking on Atlantic Avenue; the spice of Jamaican and Caribbean cooking in Canarsie; feasting on Colombian and Cuban dishes on Roosevelt Avenue; sumptuous Greek in Astoria; Italian in Ridgewood; Chinese and Korean in Flushing . . .

Restaurants are like fanfic: the higher the review count doesn't necessarily equate to the quality of the ingredients.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Bar Towel, Please
[info]queencallipygos
2007-03-01 05:17 pm UTC (link)
A-fuckin'-men.

There have only been two times I've eaten at a pull-out-all-the-stops restaurant in the 20 years I've lived here; and one time it was at a place that only those in the know knew about, a little place called "Jezebel's" on 9th Avenue that looked for all the world like an accountant's office if you were standing on the street. The other place -- okay, yes, it was Bouley's. But it was Bouley's before it was Bouley's -- it had only been open a month, and we only got in because my father worked with his brother, the brother pulled some strings and we got to eat free. (Now he was worth the hype. But the price tag would have spooked us in any other circumstances and David Bouley also seemed to have his shit together.)

Despite Bouley's being what it was, my parents still actually preferred the little Italian place we found one night in the Village that was like a little Neopolitan Tratorria, and where my father got to talk about fishing with one of the waiters and that waiter ended up sending my parents a Christmas card each year for the next decade.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]pfeffermuse, 2007-03-02 02:00 am UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]jerel, 2007-03-04 06:31 pm UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please
iwanttobeasleep
2007-03-01 06:16 pm UTC (link)
Are you telling me real New Yorkers don't eat like the people on Sex and the City?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]dez_chan, 2007-03-01 11:59 pm UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please - iwanttobeasleep, 2007-03-02 12:42 am UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]pfeffermuse, 2007-03-02 02:04 am UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]dez_chan, 2007-03-02 05:59 pm UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please
[info]airborne_rodent
2007-03-01 09:36 pm UTC (link)
Times Square Olive Garden

Bleech. I had to eat there when I went to NY with a friend because she wanted pasta and didn't want to look for any place else to eat. I'm going back next fall and I won't be doing that again. ;)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]pfeffermuse, 2007-03-02 02:07 am UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]squib, 2007-03-02 02:46 am UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]jerry_ds_girl, 2007-03-03 08:04 am UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please
[info]julesnoctambule
2007-03-01 09:50 pm UTC (link)
Dumplings in Chinatown this Thanksgiving. Made to order, five for a dollar.

A dollar.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]chofi, 2007-03-03 01:42 am UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please
[info]antigone
2007-03-01 10:42 pm UTC (link)
The best meal I ever had was at this hole-in-the-wall ramen place in NYC when I was 14 or so... and I'll never, ever, ever find that place again. This makes me cry at night, sometimes.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Bar Towel, Please
[info]vigilanterodent
2007-03-01 11:42 pm UTC (link)
Isn't there practically a rule about that? Easily found, splashily advertised Fancy Restaurants are never as good as hole-in-the-wall ones.

For example, my own city (Madison WI) has a couple of fancy Chinese restaurants, but the actual best Chinese food is acquired from a building which looks like it should be a laundromat.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]meril, 2007-03-02 02:04 am UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-03-02 04:49 am UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please - rachelthedemon, 2007-03-02 04:18 am UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]jerel, 2007-03-04 06:42 pm UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please - rachelthedemon, 2007-03-04 06:47 pm UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]tofuknight, 2007-03-02 05:26 pm UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please
[info]coffeebun
2007-03-02 02:37 am UTC (link)
I have a kind-of-related story as a tourist in New York and food!

When my family went to New York several years ago, we lived near the Broadway theater. We were walking around looking for a place to eat, and we stumbled on this really tiny cafeteria. So my mom starts complaining, aloud, in Chinese, that the food displays were really horrible looking, blah blah blah.
And this man suddenly came out and said in Chinese that if we wanted food he could cook stuff up for us, the food on display was for "ignorant people who don't know any better" or something like that.
So he did cook for us, and the whole meal cost like, 10-15 USD, for four people. And it was actually pretty good. :|

In short, yay for hole-in-the-wall cooking!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Bar Towel, Please - [info]aerobot, 2007-03-02 08:28 am UTC
Re: Bar Towel, Please
[info]prettypinkkitty
2007-03-03 02:47 am UTC (link)
Exactly! The best Thai is at Yum Yum Bangkok or that cheap little stall on Ave A, not one of those superexpensive places. We went to Tabla, and honestly? Better Indian food exists for 5 bucks a pop.

The only weird/expensive place we've wanted to go to is Buddakan, but only because my friend and I are from Philly, and it's cheaper there than here, and my friend's girlfriend works there, and we like Stephen Starr's mixed drinks. Who eats at those expensive places?

I must also stick up for the haute cuisine at the Times Square Olive Garden. Though the tourists swarm like rats at a KFC, the pitchers of booze cannot be beat, and the food is so carbtastic. PITCHERS OF BOOZE. SO GOOD.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ladyrogue
2007-03-01 06:02 pm UTC (link)
So basically, to translate this from TL:DR to English:

Dear Jerky Newspaper Guy,

My restaurant is awesome! All these guys think it's awesome too. Why doesn't your MEEN critic like my restaurant?! His review even says how much he hates me! It's like I made one mistake and suddenly I'm totally blacklisted, what's up with that? But you know what? It doesn't matter because my restaurant is not for critics! So why did I spend a jazillion dollars to have this TL;DR rant posted in the Times?
Reason 1: I'm a unique snowflake who is sensitive to criticism of any kind.
Reason 2: Frank Bruni's a phony! A big, fat phony!!
His review doesn't count because he's not a chef because I said so. I'm also making a blog to recount my adventures stalking Bruni for the rest of his life.

Cheers!





(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]aristaea
2007-03-01 07:20 pm UTC (link)
LOL TRUFAX. Send it as a Letter to the Editor.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tehrin
2007-03-01 06:18 pm UTC (link)
I wonder what the precendent this guy is using for a 5 star rating. The steak would have to be cooked by angels and seasoned with ambrosia and angelic special steak sauce.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]greenling, 2007-03-01 07:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-03-01 08:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreamworld, 2007-03-01 09:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2007-03-01 09:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2007-03-02 12:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2007-03-02 07:13 am UTC

[info]heddychaa
2007-03-01 08:33 pm UTC (link)
Anthony Bourdain weighed in! Now it's a PARTAY!

(Reply to this)


[info]hallidae
2007-03-01 09:26 pm UTC (link)
A need to make peace with the check, which had come pinned to a wooden board by a dagger?

I know that'd scare me off right there. I'd throw money and flee, just in case the server decided to use the dagger if they didn't like the tip.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-03-01 11:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]coffee_mug, 2007-03-02 01:54 pm UTC

[info]ashenmote
2007-03-01 10:26 pm UTC (link)
but my restaurant staff, who are some of the nicest, most hard-working people I have ever worked with are affected, and they deserve an apology.

Especially the cook, poor old Mrs Dalrymple and Gilberto. :(

(Reply to this)


[info]edgyspice
2007-03-01 10:51 pm UTC (link)
And some of the food was alarming. A clam in an underwhelming cold seafood platter had a metallic tang, while an American strip loin had a sourness that didn’t taste like aging or, for that matter, like anything anyone intended.

Yech. Sound worthy of a zero-star review to me.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]avari, 2007-03-01 11:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2007-03-02 05:28 pm UTC

[info]coffee_mug
2007-03-02 01:51 pm UTC (link)
Restaurant wank. Friggin' awesome.

(Reply to this)


[info]prettypinkkitty
2007-03-03 02:59 am UTC (link)
Should I start a "Places Both Cheaper And Tastier In New York City" thread? Will people post?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]somnambulicious, 2007-03-03 03:49 am UTC

[info]jerel
2007-03-04 06:17 pm UTC (link)
If Akira Kurosawa hired the Marquis de Sade as an interior decorator, he might end up with a gloomy rec room like this

Best metaphor EVER.

(Reply to this)



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