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Nomes ([info]onaga) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-03-18 22:52:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Breakupplz?
Horsefucker's human girlfriend was ignoring his mighty stallion ways...

...and she's gone!

Break out the champagne. Or the hard liquor, to cope with all the friends telling him that he's better off with horseywife alone and no bitchy (i.e. verbal) woman to get in his way.

(Thanks to [info]cookie_love for the links!)



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(Post a new comment)


[info]zaliesiren
2007-03-19 08:54 pm UTC (link)
*points to icon* I'll be curled up in the corner making this face for the rest of the fucking day now. UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]amberwaves
2007-04-02 02:49 am UTC (link)
Is that Taylor Hanson? OMG! [rapes him]

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]hallidae
2007-03-19 09:14 pm UTC (link)
::raises bottle of Sapporo:: I'm supposed to be on a diet, but scrubbing my brain is more important than the calories. Anyone with me?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]prettypinkkitty
2007-03-19 09:25 pm UTC (link)
I'm drinking Bailey's from the bottle.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-03-19 09:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fuzzybluelogic, 2007-03-20 01:06 am UTC

[info]julesnoctambule
2007-03-19 11:08 pm UTC (link)
Neat whisky for me.
It numbs all wounds!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]exdee
2007-03-19 11:45 pm UTC (link)
I'm really wishing I had stolen the lonely leftover bottle of Guinness from home and brought it back after vacay, but this year I found out, for all their anticipation, neither of my brothers actually like the stuff, so it's a bit hard to pin booze gone AWOL on them :P

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ecchaniz0r
2007-03-19 11:55 pm UTC (link)
At times like this, I somewhat regret my decision to give up booze 4 lyfe. (Half of it's faith; half of it is that I always feel hnrghish after I drink. Woo, metabolism!)

...Maybe if I hypercaffeinate myself, the world will go into bullet time and I'll be to busy watching my hands move to care about Ponyman?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jetwolf, 2007-03-19 11:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2007-03-21 08:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2007-03-20 05:27 am UTC
Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE
[info]vigilanterodent
2007-03-19 09:48 pm UTC (link)
Ahem.

From here:

Makes sense to me. I'm a biologist and psychologist - not the Freud-Adler-Jung stuff, but rather psychobiochemistry, gene expression, neural nets, etc. Your pony has essentially the same limbic system as you have. The limbic system is the seat of emotions, and is very highly conserved through 100,000,000 million years or more of evolution. The genetic line that became horses split from that which became human roughly 30,000,000 years ago, but the limbic system - and its emotions - are still much the same in both of you. When people infer emotions of happyness, friendship, bossyness, anger, hate, fear, trustworthyness, love, lust, etc. to animals, they are not engaging in anthromorphic flights of fantasy. The morphology, biochemistry, and function of your mare's limbic system are essentially the same as yours. Both humans and horses are social animals; when you are unhappy, she really does feel your pain and tries to comfort you. When you are happy, she really does share your joy. Of course, the fact that you two have a close emotional relationship with each other is no news to you. But the scientific data above may be useful in explaining to your friends that you aren't just imagining things.

Kill it. With fire.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]cookie_love, 2007-03-19 10:01 pm UTC
Sad... - [info]cookie_love, 2007-03-19 10:08 pm UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]doomsday, 2007-03-19 10:20 pm UTC
*puts out cigarette* - [info]cookie_love, 2007-03-20 07:55 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-03-19 10:55 pm UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]caito, 2007-03-20 12:42 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]maureenlycaon, 2007-03-20 03:02 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]chaos_theory, 2007-03-20 04:21 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]maureenlycaon, 2007-03-20 10:34 pm UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]smadronia, 2007-03-21 01:21 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]cookie_love, 2007-03-21 09:10 pm UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]caoilainn, 2007-03-19 10:12 pm UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]hallidae, 2007-03-19 10:30 pm UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]evilsqueakers, 2007-03-19 11:00 pm UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]lindentreeisle, 2007-03-19 11:21 pm UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]xturtle, 2007-03-20 12:58 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]princessdot, 2007-03-20 07:19 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]xturtle, 2007-03-20 11:59 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]tehrin, 2007-03-19 11:57 pm UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-03-20 12:10 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]isntitironic, 2007-03-20 02:18 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-03-20 03:01 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]isntitironic, 2007-03-20 03:13 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-03-20 11:09 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]ebneter, 2007-03-20 06:56 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]princessdot, 2007-03-20 07:25 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2007-03-20 01:34 pm UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]barankhy, 2007-03-21 12:37 am UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]isntitironic, 2007-03-28 03:23 pm UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - [info]barankhy, 2007-03-28 03:27 pm UTC
Re: Repost, now with BRIGHT WARNING THAT THERE ARE HORSEKISSING PICTURES HERE - pastri_archy, 2007-03-20 06:51 am UTC
I don't know why... - [info]cookie_love, 2007-03-20 07:35 am UTC

[info]caoilainn
2007-03-19 10:17 pm UTC (link)
Good for you. She wasn't the right one. With a loving mare to keep you company, you won't be in a lackanooky&love freaked out hurry to find the right human female to love and be loved by. This time, the latter part - love - appears not to have been there...

And I throw up my hands and think WTF world, WTF.

His wife? A horse. Funny. People enabling this person and telling him that with his mare he will have nooky while looking for a human female (with the undercurrent of who needs humans anyway) creeps me out. shudder.

(Reply to this)

Reposted because well.... I made no sense
[info]ninja_stripper
2007-03-19 11:13 pm UTC (link)
...I read the racing stripes entry...


. My little niece loves that movie. She will giggle at the zebra and just loves it.

WHY MUST HE RUIN THE INNOCENT THINGS IN LIFE WHY WHY WHY!!!!


*goes to put in Labyrinth and hides Racing Stripes*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Reposted because well.... I made no sense - [info]fuzzybluelogic, 2007-03-20 01:10 am UTC
GIP - [info]ninja_stripper, 2007-03-20 01:35 am UTC
Re: GIP - [info]fuzzybluelogic, 2007-03-20 01:44 am UTC
Re: GIP - [info]makeshyft, 2007-03-20 02:21 am UTC
Re: GIP - pastri_archy, 2007-03-20 06:52 am UTC
Re: GIP - [info]ninja_stripper, 2007-03-20 04:51 pm UTC
Re: GIP - pastri_archy, 2007-03-21 12:53 am UTC
Re: Reposted because well.... I made no sense - [info]imbrium, 2007-03-21 03:25 am UTC
Re: Reposted because well.... I made no sense - [info]ninja_stripper, 2007-03-21 01:46 pm UTC

[info]slackerbitch
2007-03-19 11:30 pm UTC (link)
I just needed to use this icon.

It was this, or try to replicate it by bashing my brains out with a brick.

If this doesn't work, I'll let you know about the other.

(Reply to this)


[info]ninja_stripper
2007-03-19 11:41 pm UTC (link)
Friend of Ponyfucker: AUUUGH I want those chicken wings! :3 I thought the zebra was absolutely adorable as well.:>

Ponyfucker: He was but I think he was actually a she.

Friend of Ponyfucker: Oooooh, right... Yeah...I was dissappointed (sic) by that.;-; I'm straight, as far as that front goes.:p


Ninja_Stripper: *headwall* *sobs on floor*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2007-03-20 12:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ninja_stripper, 2007-03-20 01:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-03-20 01:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ninja_stripper, 2007-03-20 01:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-03-20 01:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ninja_stripper, 2007-03-20 01:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-03-20 11:23 pm UTC
About the foal-to-be...
[info]melisus
2007-03-19 11:45 pm UTC (link)
So we can probably say with confidence that Mr. Ponyfucker is convinced he's fathered the foal that his pony is pregnant with. We know that to be impossible.

He sees himself as a black stallion. His mare is black with a little bit of white. Do we know what colour the mysterious stallion that impregnated the pony was? No? What if it was chestnut or something...? I VERY much hope it's a colour other than black. He'd HAVE to know his "wife" "cheated", right? Right???

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: About the foal-to-be... - [info]slackerbitch, 2007-03-20 12:35 am UTC
Re: About the foal-to-be... - [info]stella_polaris, 2007-03-20 02:06 am UTC
Re: About the foal-to-be... - [info]melisus, 2007-03-20 02:09 am UTC
Re: About the foal-to-be... - [info]ravenscanary, 2007-03-20 02:58 am UTC
Re: About the foal-to-be... - [info]stella_polaris, 2007-03-20 02:08 am UTC
Re: About the foal-to-be... - [info]melisus, 2007-03-20 02:10 am UTC
Re: About the foal-to-be... - [info]ravenscanary, 2007-03-20 02:56 am UTC

[info]napalmnacey
2007-03-20 01:02 am UTC (link)
The most depressed looking pony I have EVER SEEN.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - verthandi, 2007-03-20 01:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-03-20 01:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]faultypremise, 2007-03-20 01:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2007-03-20 02:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2007-03-20 02:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-03-20 10:56 am UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-03-20 10:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2007-03-20 06:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-03-20 10:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melisus, 2007-03-20 06:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-03-20 10:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]garnetmist, 2007-03-21 01:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luvginnyarwen, 2007-03-21 04:25 am UTC

[info]pepperlandgirl4
2007-03-20 02:28 am UTC (link)
This is getting less funny with each posting, but I find myself reading anyway. I really hope that when that foal is born, it'll show up here. \

"His wife? A horse." is still the funniest goddamned thing I have ever read.

(Reply to this)


[info]sarkasm
2007-03-20 02:48 am UTC (link)
I honestly don't think that my eyes can go any wider. I feel them straining at the edges of my lids, trying to bulge out even further.

(Reply to this)

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2007-03-20 04:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]catslash, 2007-03-20 06:20 am UTC

[info]chili_power
2007-03-20 12:06 pm UTC (link)
I am sitting online and this "friend" of ours asks if he can ask her out on a date. Glad i didnt have drink or i would have spit it out.

Really. There you are sitting, fapping quietly to your "My litte Pony" collection and ordering oats and lube online and then a fucktard comes and DARES to ASK you if he can DATE my poly SO. Where has the world come to?!

(Reply to this)

PONYFUCKER IS EVERYWHERE!
[info]damien
2007-03-20 01:24 pm UTC (link)
I was watching the Kinsey movie and it contained the following exchange during one of the interviews:

Interviewer: "How old were you when you first engaged in sexual activity with a partner?"
Man: "14."
Interviewer: "How?"
Man: "With horse."
Interviewer: "How often were you having intercourse with animals at age 14?"
Man: "Is true. I fucked a pony. You are genius. How did you know?"
Interviewer: "You just said you had sex with a horse."
Man: "No! Whores. Not horse. Whores."

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: PONYFUCKER IS EVERYWHERE! - [info]daylightsparks, 2007-03-20 06:41 pm UTC
Re: PONYFUCKER IS EVERYWHERE! - [info]exdee, 2007-03-20 09:41 pm UTC
Re: PONYFUCKER IS EVERYWHERE! - [info]smadronia, 2007-03-21 01:23 am UTC
Re: PONYFUCKER IS EVERYWHERE! - [info]damien, 2007-03-21 12:34 pm UTC

[info]mastervex
2007-03-20 09:33 pm UTC (link)
Yeah...I can't even laugh at this anymore. At this point, some guy who just liked fucking ordinary horses and didn't have all this fucked-up rationalization and other behavior with it would look pretty good in comparison.

To sum up:
-The horse he's screwing is tiny and he's pretty much certainly hurting it.
-It's a rescued animal. The poor thing has already been abused or neglected.
-He believes it both has a human level of thought and understanding, and has no objections to anything he's doing. He also believes horse and human body language are the same.
-He apparently thinks of the horse as a sibling and a child as well as a 'wife'.
-And believes he's the father of the horse's unborn offspring.
-He's a misogynist with screwed-up ideas of human relationships anyway and has double standards for himself and any women stupid/crazy/unfortunate enough to have anything to do with him.
-The girlfriend was kicked out instead of realizing how fucked up this guy is and leaving.
-Some poor human kid was (and still is?) exposed to this shit.
-He has other fucked up people giving him support based on hugely flawed understanding of science and more misogynist thought.
-And they think depression, developmental disorders, and just plain being a nerdy fannish sort are all much crazier than his abuse of animals, shitty treatment of people, and lack of touch with reality.

"His wife? A horse." was so funny, and then the more information that came along, the faster the funny drained away. Now it's just a huge trainwreck which none of the LOLs survived. Augh.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]v_digitalwytch, 2007-03-21 08:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2007-03-21 01:11 pm UTC

[info]velvet_mace
2007-03-20 10:13 pm UTC (link)
Here's to hoping this chick got hit with a brick and suddenly realized that this guy she's living with prefers mates who have an IQ of 40, can't speak, can't leave, and whose only choice in life is which blade of grass they'd prefer to eat first.

(Reply to this)


[info]chili_power
2007-03-21 12:48 pm UTC (link)
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/99621, down in the comments.

..and much to her dissapointment tonight any serous quality time is on hold till after the baby is born as well. I dont want to do anything that could possibly risk the baby


... yeah, I bet she is really disappointed about that.

*claws eyes out*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2007-03-21 02:52 pm UTC

[info]chez_moi
2007-03-21 05:36 pm UTC (link)
I love how he says his horse wife is "a wonderful listener".

WELL WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS SHE GOING TO DO? CHAT ABOUT METAPHYSICS?

(Reply to this)


redwarrior
2007-03-22 06:31 pm UTC (link)
She finally wizened up.

Good for her.

(Reply to this)


[info]syncopation
2007-03-22 10:49 pm UTC (link)
1st up: Sophocles' Oedipus Tyrannus. Freud's Oedipal complex? Accounted for and appropriately disturbed.

And now this. This is beyond comprehension. Crying black emo tears at humanity as I type. Poor pony. What would PETA do?

(Reply to this)



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