One wonders how babies and pets ever managed to survive before the internet and the many, many kind and caring experts who never fail (NEVER!) to dole out their sage advice and admonitions about every pet-related situation. Thanks to the internet I have learned so many, many important facts about pets and babies:

1. Dog slobber is almost as dangerous to human infants as angent orange
2. Human infants are as dangerous to helpless, defenseless, wee little kittens as dog slobber is to human infants
3. Human saliva can kill a parrot from thirty feet
4. Rats are the most fragile, delicate creatures that have ever existed - as evidenced by the incredibly hard time they have flourishing in the wild
5. If you have ever even imagined buying something from a pet store you are a heartless supporter of puppy mill genocide
6. The presence of a camera in your hands instantly renders you incapable of moving at normal speed, leaving you to watch helplessly as your infant is drenched in toxic dog slobber. Everyone knows that it is impossible to stop taking picture and, you know, INTERVENE, when something goes wrong
7. If I am calculating my child-free math correctly, the presence of a baby can reduce the cute quotient of a kitten picture by up to forty percent.
8. Looking at pictures of cute puppies and thinking about female genital mutilation makes me deeply uncomfortable.