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joye ([info]joye) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-03-21 13:44:00


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THE WORLD IS FULL OF HORROR AND DOGS WANT TO EAT YOUR BABY!!!!!!
Cute and wank: proportional? Sometimes.
I've been studiously avoiding posts on CuteOverload and such about Knut, the baby polar bear that some animal rights activists want dead, because nothing good can come of that. So I entered the word "cute" into StumbleUpon and clicked, hoping to find some uncontroversial cute.
My very first stumble is a series of photos of a mastiff and a human infant.

Seriously. Its great that it became a ‘cute series of pictures’ but it could have been easily been evidence in a manslaughter case instead.

You’re right this is unhygienic. Do you know how sick that dog could get from licking a baby?

It makes me sick that there’s a whole generation people that are too pansy to enjoy cute photos. in conclusion, I killed Nazis with my bare hands.

Baby’s are very frail creatures, puppies much less so. One playful nuzzle from the dog could easily seriously injure the baby for life. Which is great because it adds quite a bit of suspense to an otherwise trivial series of photos. Quite a thrill right up to the end.

One of the best ways of training a dog, particularly a large dog – is when they do something wrong – you hold them and place your kneck and head over theirs and hold that position for a few seconds – true! I’m a dog - I know!

Babies typically carry lots of nasty diseases and will attack anything that moves quickly or makes a noise.

Second, babies are HARDLY fragile. You could probably bounce a baby like a basketball and it would be fine (and NO I am not advocating this, simply exaggerating to make a point) because babies and kids have the cellular rejuvenation skills of a gecko tail. They can heal within minutes.

And so on and so on for 150 comments, with all the evolutionary psychology you can eat!

ETA: The same set of pictures on CO. The comments there are more serious business and there's a lot more of them to wade through, but there's still some choice niblets. My favorite is the guy who commented "While you shmucks are worried about a baby crushing/eating dog there are 13 year old females suffering genital mutilation in several countries overseas." Oh dear. In the time I took to type this post, I could have saved 3.2 girls from FGM. Why are you reading this post when you could be stamping out rape/AIDS/drugs/halitosis? Don't you care about FREEDOM?


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[info]barankhy
2007-03-21 07:12 pm UTC (link)
Heh, when I got it this morning, I was all "Getta hell off of my lawn, kitty!" (the one in the background in the pic did it), but by now, I'm all "Oooh, shiny!" ... yeah, I'm weird.

*giggle* Aww, she does sound cute, though.
And after all, one of my two cats seems to have the brainpower of a dead amoeba, and I love him nonetheless. Well, unless he mistakes my crotch for a scratchig post.

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[info]kittenmommy
2007-03-21 07:14 pm UTC (link)

That's odd. I've never met a stupid cat before. Cats are usually smart.

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[info]barankhy
2007-03-21 07:16 pm UTC (link)
Well, seeing as how he still doesn't get that rubbing against a lamp = pushing the lamp over = scaring him, or that leaking faucets will make him wet, I had to classify him as smrt -_-

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[info]doomsday
2007-03-21 08:02 pm UTC (link)
Seriously? We've had a couple painfully stupid cats before. They're sweethearts, though. This one in my icon is incredibly dumb, but everyone loves him.

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[info]freezer
2007-03-22 12:28 am UTC (link)
As my friend Dennis (a cat owner) is fond of saying: Cats aren't exactly the chess players of the animal kingdom.

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[info]issendai
2007-03-22 01:48 pm UTC (link)
They're substantially dumber than dogs in tests of problem-solving and creative thinking, but they act more dignified about it, so they come off as being smarter. Which is a lesson for us all: Appearances matter.

(Also, don't drink out of the toilet bowl.)

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[info]julesnoctambule
2007-03-22 12:10 am UTC (link)
A friend of mine had a cat that licked lightbulbs.

While they were on.

Talk about natural selection. . . .

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[info]barankhy
2007-03-22 10:45 am UTC (link)
...
...
Ow.

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