THE WORLD IS FULL OF HORROR AND DOGS WANT TO EAT YOUR BABY!!!!!!
Cute and wank: proportional? Sometimes.
I've been studiously avoiding posts on CuteOverload and such about Knut, the baby polar bear that some animal rights activists want dead, because nothing good can come of that. So I entered the word "cute" into StumbleUpon and clicked, hoping to find some uncontroversial cute.
My very first stumble is a series of photos of a mastiff and a human infant.

Seriously. Its great that it became a ‘cute series of pictures’ but it could have been easily been evidence in a manslaughter case instead.

You’re right this is unhygienic. Do you know how sick that dog could get from licking a baby?

It makes me sick that there’s a whole generation people that are too pansy to enjoy cute photos. in conclusion, I killed Nazis with my bare hands.

Baby’s are very frail creatures, puppies much less so. One playful nuzzle from the dog could easily seriously injure the baby for life. Which is great because it adds quite a bit of suspense to an otherwise trivial series of photos. Quite a thrill right up to the end.

One of the best ways of training a dog, particularly a large dog – is when they do something wrong – you hold them and place your kneck and head over theirs and hold that position for a few seconds – true! I’m a dog - I know!

Babies typically carry lots of nasty diseases and will attack anything that moves quickly or makes a noise.

Second, babies are HARDLY fragile. You could probably bounce a baby like a basketball and it would be fine (and NO I am not advocating this, simply exaggerating to make a point) because babies and kids have the cellular rejuvenation skills of a gecko tail. They can heal within minutes.

And so on and so on for 150 comments, with all the evolutionary psychology you can eat!

ETA: The same set of pictures on CO. The comments there are more serious business and there's a lot more of them to wade through, but there's still some choice niblets. My favorite is the guy who commented "While you shmucks are worried about a baby crushing/eating dog there are 13 year old females suffering genital mutilation in several countries overseas." Oh dear. In the time I took to type this post, I could have saved 3.2 girls from FGM. Why are you reading this post when you could be stamping out rape/AIDS/drugs/halitosis? Don't you care about FREEDOM?

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pink_rhombus
2007-03-21 08:16 pm UTC (link)

One wonders how babies and pets ever managed to survive before the internet and the many, many kind and caring experts who never fail (NEVER!) to dole out their sage advice and admonitions about every pet-related situation. Thanks to the internet I have learned so many, many important facts about pets and babies:

1. Dog slobber is almost as dangerous to human infants as angent orange
2. Human infants are as dangerous to helpless, defenseless, wee little kittens as dog slobber is to human infants
3. Human saliva can kill a parrot from thirty feet
4. Rats are the most fragile, delicate creatures that have ever existed - as evidenced by the incredibly hard time they have flourishing in the wild
5. If you have ever even imagined buying something from a pet store you are a heartless supporter of puppy mill genocide
6. The presence of a camera in your hands instantly renders you incapable of moving at normal speed, leaving you to watch helplessly as your infant is drenched in toxic dog slobber. Everyone knows that it is impossible to stop taking picture and, you know, INTERVENE, when something goes wrong
7. If I am calculating my child-free math correctly, the presence of a baby can reduce the cute quotient of a kitten picture by up to forty percent.
8. Looking at pictures of cute puppies and thinking about female genital mutilation makes me deeply uncomfortable.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	narcissam 2007-03-21 08:22 pm UTC (link)
	9. Boobies are the yearly leading cause of pet death in the United States. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	damnedfallacy 2007-03-21 08:50 pm UTC (link)
	9.1 Potentially underaged boobies not only kill cute pets, they also instantly turn anyone who view the picture into a pedophile, fork bites from your dessert without asking and kill your credit rating. They don't make the baby Jesus cry, but they do make him give one hell of a boo-boo lip. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	pink_rhombus 2007-03-21 08:50 pm UTC (link)
	Boobies: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. /Simpsons (Reply to this)(Parent)

	joye 2007-03-21 09:08 pm UTC (link)
	10. We are entitled to orgasmic levels of cute in every photo posted. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	lottelita 2007-03-22 03:45 pm UTC (link)
	11. Maintainers of personal blogs are obligated to provide me with exactly the content I want and none of the content I don't. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	chili_power 2007-03-26 09:41 am UTC (link)
	12. To prove my hardcore status and my superiority I have to mention at least twice in every comment that I would do everything to save a baby animal in need but only laugh, point and mock the parents on cf_hardcore when I see a toddler tripping over. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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