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joye ([info]joye) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-03-21 13:44:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
THE WORLD IS FULL OF HORROR AND DOGS WANT TO EAT YOUR BABY!!!!!!
Cute and wank: proportional? Sometimes.
I've been studiously avoiding posts on CuteOverload and such about Knut, the baby polar bear that some animal rights activists want dead, because nothing good can come of that. So I entered the word "cute" into StumbleUpon and clicked, hoping to find some uncontroversial cute.
My very first stumble is a series of photos of a mastiff and a human infant.

Seriously. Its great that it became a ‘cute series of pictures’ but it could have been easily been evidence in a manslaughter case instead.

You’re right this is unhygienic. Do you know how sick that dog could get from licking a baby?

It makes me sick that there’s a whole generation people that are too pansy to enjoy cute photos. in conclusion, I killed Nazis with my bare hands.

Baby’s are very frail creatures, puppies much less so. One playful nuzzle from the dog could easily seriously injure the baby for life. Which is great because it adds quite a bit of suspense to an otherwise trivial series of photos. Quite a thrill right up to the end.

One of the best ways of training a dog, particularly a large dog – is when they do something wrong – you hold them and place your kneck and head over theirs and hold that position for a few seconds – true! I’m a dog - I know!

Babies typically carry lots of nasty diseases and will attack anything that moves quickly or makes a noise.

Second, babies are HARDLY fragile. You could probably bounce a baby like a basketball and it would be fine (and NO I am not advocating this, simply exaggerating to make a point) because babies and kids have the cellular rejuvenation skills of a gecko tail. They can heal within minutes.

And so on and so on for 150 comments, with all the evolutionary psychology you can eat!

ETA: The same set of pictures on CO. The comments there are more serious business and there's a lot more of them to wade through, but there's still some choice niblets. My favorite is the guy who commented "While you shmucks are worried about a baby crushing/eating dog there are 13 year old females suffering genital mutilation in several countries overseas." Oh dear. In the time I took to type this post, I could have saved 3.2 girls from FGM. Why are you reading this post when you could be stamping out rape/AIDS/drugs/halitosis? Don't you care about FREEDOM?


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]seiberwing
2007-03-21 08:52 pm UTC (link)
D'awwwwwwww!

# William James Says:
February 14th, 2007 at 2:54 pm

This psychology student says:
Please stop anthropomorphising your dogs, it’s idiotic- they don’t have ‘personalities’ or ‘thoughts’, they are simply a bundle of classical/operant conditioning processes and genetic instinctual predispositions.
If a baby does something the dog doesn’t like, e.g. grabbing its tail, it’ll jump like any dog and may even attack. We can’t predict human behaviour and we certainly can’t predict canine behaviour.
Many of us have anecdotal evidence of friends who were bitten by “perfectly loving” dogs as children because the dog flipped and noone forsaw it. I hate to point this out but dogs have no emotions- they harbour no love for you or your children.


Someone's a cat owner, I take it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]joye
2007-03-21 09:05 pm UTC (link)
We can’t predict human behaviour
That kinda makes his major useless, doesn't it?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]issendai
2007-03-22 01:15 am UTC (link)
If you ask a roomful of Americans, "Are humans predictable or unpredictable?", 98% of them will reply that humans are unpredictable.

I love dimwitted-humans paradoxes.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-03-22 07:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2007-03-22 01:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-03-22 04:23 pm UTC

[info]ladyofviolets
2007-03-21 09:39 pm UTC (link)
//Someone's a cat owner, I take it.//

I'm a cat lover who thinks this "William James" commenter is full of shit. What does that make me? Nonexistant? :(

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]seiberwing
2007-03-21 09:44 pm UTC (link)
Depends. Is your cat bisexual?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2007-03-22 04:00 am UTC

iwanttobeasleep
2007-03-21 09:44 pm UTC (link)
they are simply a bundle of classical/operant conditioning processes and genetic instinctual predispositions.

Couldn't that apply to humans, too? The only difference is we have the ability to reflect and rationalize, but if you're going to take that paradigm, humans are pretty much just conditioning and predispositions too.

Also: People who believe animals don't have some kind of personality haven't been around many animals. I wonder what kind of conditioning taught my kitty that it's a good idea to whack me in the ankle (claws out) when I walk by.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2007-03-21 10:05 pm UTC (link)
Maybe she saw Kill Bill too often? Or just wants to be a Ninja Kitten in general?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]anonyrat
2007-03-22 07:27 pm UTC (link)
I know someone who used to tell me I was anthropomorphizing my rats when I said they had very distinct personalities. He used to get very snooty with me about it.

Now he's in an animal cognition class where they talk about rats a lot, and he's been forced to admit that, yes, rats DO have discernible personalities.

Science is on the side of the snuggly!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]puipui
2007-03-21 09:52 pm UTC (link)
Many of us have anecdotal evidence of friends who were bitten by “perfectly loving” dogs as children because the dog flipped and noone forsaw it.

DOG FACTS:
1) Dogs are mammals.
2) Dogs fight ALL the time.
3) The purpose of the dog is to flip out and kill children.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]caito
2007-03-21 10:27 pm UTC (link)
I didn't think it was possible for me to love dogs any more than I already did, but you just made my heart go +3.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]singe
2007-03-21 11:49 pm UTC (link)
Lord, someone call Cesar Milan, STAT!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]hobbitsexual
2007-03-22 02:18 am UTC (link)
*tears in eyes* too good!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]pandonkey
2007-03-22 02:30 am UTC (link)
You have filled me with joy.

Between this comment and the polar bear footage, my mood has been greatly improved by this wank. Hooray for dogs! (And bears!)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sashenka
2007-03-22 03:48 am UTC (link)
My dog bit my friend once because she was antagonizing her. She deserved it and if my puppy hadn't bitten her hand, I would have. She also waits outside my bedroom door for hours every few days when I'm away at school. How is that not adorable and full of love?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-03-22 03:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2007-03-22 04:18 am UTC

[info]exdee
2007-03-22 01:30 pm UTC (link)
Noone forsaw it?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]cookie_love
2007-03-21 10:33 pm UTC (link)
That's funny. The other day I was walking by a fence and a toddler wandered up to it to say, "Hi". Suddenly a huge dog came charging over, positioning itself between me, a stranger, and the trusting toddler. It was obviously intent on keeping the child safe from any would-be threat.

I guess it did that for the Kibbles n' Bits.

Reposted because "preview" is my friend....

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]hobbitsexual
2007-03-22 02:19 am UTC (link)
waw! dogs make my heart warm

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sepiamagpie
2007-03-21 10:45 pm UTC (link)
Ha!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]wrongly_amused
2007-03-22 12:02 am UTC (link)
LIES. My cat loves me! Really, he isn't just using me for food or anything like that.

...

I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]feloniousfeline
2007-03-22 03:35 am UTC (link)
I'm with you. My cat loves me, too. I can tell by the way she's got me so well trained.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-03-22 01:03 pm UTC

[info]ghostmaster
2007-03-22 12:51 am UTC (link)
Owned by a cat, I think you mean. Or possibly pwned.

Wow, the intelligent observations just roll off of him like big rolling things, don't they?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]pokecheck
2007-03-22 02:13 am UTC (link)
But Sadaharu only bites with love.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]indis_earfalas
2007-03-22 07:26 am UTC (link)
LOL. No, I'm a cat owner ... and I'm not that silly. I'd say he's one of those "people are far superiour to anything else and therefore can do whatever we like with no problems" types.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]caffeine_fairy
2007-03-22 12:31 pm UTC (link)
If a baby does something the dog doesn’t like, e.g. grabbing its tail, it’ll jump like any dog and may even attack. We can’t predict human behaviour and we certainly can’t predict canine behaviour.

Is it just me or does the second sentence completely contradict the first? As in, he's predicting dog behaviour?

I bit my dog's ear when I was a toddler, and she looked at me a bit miffed and sulked in a corner for half an hour.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-03-22 07:51 pm UTC

[info]dragonfangirl
2007-03-22 04:33 pm UTC (link)
Someone's a cat owner, I take it.

More likely they're "pet free." Or maybe "pf_hardcore." I can't imagine anyone living with a pet and not recognizing that animals are capable of emotions.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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