Log In

Home
    - Create Journal
    - Update
    - Download

LiveJournal
    - News
    - Paid Accounts
    - Contributors

Customize
    - Customize Journal
    - Create Style
    - Edit Style

Find Users
    - Random!
    - By Region
    - By Interest
    - Search

Edit ...
    - Personal Info &
      Settings
    - Your Friends
    - Old Entries
    - Your Pictures
    - Your Password

Developer Area

Need Help?
    - Lost Password?
    - Freq. Asked
      Questions
    - Support Area



luthe ([info]luthe) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-03-26 21:50:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
ZOMG, YOU CAN'T DRESS LIKE THAT YOU SLUT!!11!!!
So, a conservative Christian site aimed at young adults post a survey about modesty.

Feminste picks up on it. To begin with, we have the quotes from the survey respondents themselves (which are pretty damn wanky and O.o inducing all by themselves. I'm including Jill's commentary, too, because there's funny there.

Christian wanker 1:
If you don’t have a dad or brother to ask about the propriety of specific outfits or articles, try to find a brother in Christ who you can ask. As helpful as surveys and things like this can be, they can’t ever answer a question like “Does THIS pattern draw too much attention to my chest?” I’m not really sure what kind of criteria you should put on this kind of surrogate male family member (except that they should definitely be “aware” of girls, and understand and appreciate what you’re trying to do), so you’ll have to think through what would be appropriate, and what you would be most comfortable with, yourself. I don’t think it should be too hard to find someone willing to help you in this way. I know for sure that I would be perfectly happy (not to mention thrilled that a girl was taking this stuff into consideration) to help someone in this manner.


Jill: Because I am such a good and pure Christian man, I would be happy to watch you try on all of your immodest clothing, so that I may guide you in choosing what is appropriate and what is not. Let’s start with your underwear drawer, whaddaya say? Remember, it’s for Jesus.

Christian wanker 2:
Ladies, this is where you can get confused. Many women would think guys are ‘all about’ women who flaunt their bodies. I am here to attempt to speak for us Christian men fighting the fight for purity. Women like this disgust and frustrate me. They take advantage of something that God intended to be beautiful. They lure men away from that which they truly love. They make men like me fight and struggle, and cause many to fall. THESE WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE ADORED OR FOLLOWED! Christian sisters, please do not think that this attention is anything more than a result of short-sighted shallow men who are sexually frustrated and unwilling to follow God’s plan for sex. To me, women who flaunt their bodies make me turn my head, repulsed, and pray that God would guard my heart, eyes, and mind, and that somehow He would show them His infinite love, and that they don’t need to act in this way to be loved.


Jill: You disgusting beasts, making me look at your titties like that!

Christian wanker 3:
Sickening. The disgust far outweighs the attraction. What do they expect to gain from their display?I respect and admire a girl with a dress. I totally ignore something that looks like a heathen prostitute.More of a problem is those who have remained bastions of purity, yet unknowingly take a fling in the opposite direction. You become accustomed to looking at them unguardedly, and when they suddenly change for the worst…bad things happen.


Jill: Does this make anyone else nervous? Because I’m wondering what kinds of “bad things” he’s so ominously referring to. I really hope that he means getting a boner, jerking off in the shower, and then crying into his Cheerios later.


But that's just the warm-up. Next we get a mini-wank with RandomObserver3 going off against Orthodox Jewish feminism. Examples are here and here.

But the real wank doesn't begin until Natalia posts.


Natalia: Also, and this is something that I’ve been thinking about as of late - it’s interesting how some of these ah, lovely boys’ (not men, dammit) arguments are similar to certain feminist arguments, i.e., if you’ve put on some lipstick and a tank top - you are doing it for men, and you are a fool, or worse. The motivation, I believe, is different, but there’s something to this, no?

Vera Venom: BINGO. It doesn’t matter who is telling you “what not to wear” they all doing the same thing. “Girl, you can’t wear that - men might like it.” Because everything is always about the menz.

Elinor: Frankly I don’t see a problem with occasionally dressing for the menz. I’m attracted to men. I want men to be attracted to me; of course, naive little tart that I am, I think it’s possible for a man to think “nice person” and “nice body” at the same time. ...

There are people out there telling us we have to wear sexy clothes (or we’re unattractive), as many if not more than are telling us we can’t wear them. You’re making it sound as if tank tops, lipstick, push-up bras and high heels arrive in the stores without any fanfare, or maybe just drop out of the sky, who knows.


As this report is long enough as it is, I'll leave things here. Have fun, guys (ZOMG, you said guys!)!


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]sarracenia
2007-03-27 03:57 am UTC (link)
Well, if you insist! I swear, I've written more comment porn in the last week than the rest of my life combined.

P.S. I am a horrible person. This is your only warning.


"But Father," the nubile 18-year-old asked nervously. "Are you sure this isn't immodest? I mean, this skirt's so short, and you can almost see my" -she looked around furtively, and dropped her voice to a whisper- "nipples."

The priest's voice was unctuous. "Don't worry, child. I'll show you the difference between modesty and immodesty." He reached out slowly, and undid the buttons on her shirt one by one. Though she whimpered a bit, she didn't actually protest. The priest was emboldened by that, and she was shortly nude.

"In this state, child, your body will inflame and tempt any man. for your body,a good Christian man would abandon his family, a priest would abandon his flock, and even the Savior himself would pray to the Lord God for strength. Your hair would bring down Samson." Here, he reached for a single lock of her long hair and stroked it gently. She squeaked.

"Your nipples surpass those of the jeweled melons Solomon sang of, and Solomon himself would trade his kingdom for the chance to suckle at them, like so." He suited action to word. She moaned.

"And through your lush nether lilies, any man could not help but seek damnation." He trailed his hand towards the spot between her legs, and touched the wetness there gently. He frowned. There was something very odd...

"OH MY GOD THERE'S TEETH!" He tried to pull his hand back, but couldn't. His hand was grasped tight. This time, he was the one whimpering.

The girl's smile had far too many teeth, and all of them were sharp. "tell me more, little man."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]gloria_mundi
2007-03-27 04:00 am UTC (link)
*Two thumbs up*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]sarracenia
2007-03-27 04:19 am UTC (link)
*bows*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]gloria_mundi
2007-03-27 04:22 am UTC (link)
http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20040121.html

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]sarracenia
2007-03-27 04:25 am UTC (link)
Thanks! I was just googling around for that and not finding it. That will never, ever stop making me crack up.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]gloria_mundi
2007-03-27 04:28 am UTC (link)
I have a folder of bookmarks for funny comics

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]luthe
2007-03-27 04:13 am UTC (link)
Vagina dentata FTW!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]sarracenia
2007-03-27 04:18 am UTC (link)
Vagina dentata~ What a wonderful phrase~

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]fuzzybluelogic
2007-03-27 04:53 am UTC (link)
It ain't no passin' craze!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]sarracenia
2007-03-27 06:19 am UTC (link)
It means no wiener for the rest of your days~

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]napalmnacey
2007-03-27 08:39 am UTC (link)
It's a baby-freeeee, philo-so-pheeee!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really. - [info]barankhy, 2007-03-27 11:10 am UTC
Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]sisterelwood
2007-03-27 04:20 am UTC (link)
*snort* Awesome.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]sarracenia
2007-03-27 04:27 am UTC (link)
Thanks!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
pastri_archy
2007-03-27 04:39 am UTC (link)
XD I was getting all into it and then "...O_o BWHAHAHA!" But, seriously, you rock.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]sarracenia
2007-03-27 06:15 am UTC (link)
Vagina dentata and Song of Solomon (well, inspiration) in the same fic make everything bettor. XD Thanks!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]mmanurere
2007-03-27 05:52 am UTC (link)
I mean, this skirt's so short, and you can almost see my" -she looked around furtively, and dropped her voice to a whisper- "nipples."

Now that's a short skirt!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]sarracenia
2007-03-27 06:18 am UTC (link)
Why, if it had been any shorter, her eyes would have been visible! (Thanks for pointing that out.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]mmanurere
2007-03-27 06:30 am UTC (link)
Well, it only quite says that on a quick reading which misses the "and"...but still.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]sarracenia
2007-03-27 06:40 am UTC (link)
I tend to figure that anything that's going to cause a lot of people to go "Wait, what?" and reread (that isn't meant to get that sort of reaction) means the author made a mistake. And I'm a concrit whore.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]stopthatgirl7
2007-03-27 01:25 pm UTC (link)
Rock. ON.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]sarracenia
2007-03-27 09:29 pm UTC (link)
Thanks!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]damien
2007-03-27 01:55 pm UTC (link)
...I'm sticking this on my delicious page. XDDD

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]sarracenia
2007-03-27 09:30 pm UTC (link)
Dude, that's awesome. XD

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]wankismyfandom
2007-03-29 12:23 am UTC (link)
*ded from awesome*

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Graphic porn here! It's a warning, really.
[info]priestesspadfoo
2007-04-06 03:45 pm UTC (link)
I'm late reading as usual, but I want to have sex with your mind after reading this. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Read comments) -

 
   
Privacy Policy - COPPA
Legal Disclaimer - Site Map