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Makeshyft ([info]makeshyft) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-03-28 12:37:00


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God of Wank 2: The Christian Pwning!
Soooo, this here'll be my first ever wank. SO be gentle..ish.

To distract from the joys of horsebuggery and whatnot, I bring a chunky little GameFaqs wank over certain thoughts on yaoi God Of Waw 2.

http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/genmessage.php?board=932295&topic=34192752

The basic premise is, there's a certain image in the Temple of The Fates that has certian Three Wise Men-y connotations. Thus leading to a chain reaction of spooge on everything from the Origins of The Spear of Destiny, to the "hybrid" quality of Christianity, Evolution, Islam, and the occasional boob reference.

Some o' my favorite lines:

"dont ruin this game by bringing christianity into it "

"Greek Mythology kicks Christianity's sin obsessed ass."

"and i agree with the dude who says mythology pwns chrstianity"

"The Lance of Longinus is so sexy"

"It's offensive how everyone will take a shot at Christianity the first chance they get. If someone mentioned the game had a picture of Mohammed no one would have said anything to belittle Islam. Perhaps because they don't want to be beheaded or blown up."

"What if all the gods and titans die except for Kratos - so it ends up that Kratos is the god of Christian mythology. If they wanted to piss some people off, that'd be the way to do it. Also, it would explain the Old Testament. "



Of all the arguements that could be inspired by such a breath-takingly brutal game like this, religion-wank was not expected.

Enjoy.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]sarracenia
2007-03-28 09:54 pm UTC (link)
I have to agree that until Jesus assumes the form of an ant to seduce a women, Greek mythology > Christian mythology.

Bonus points if he assumes the form of a zombie ant.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]makeshyft
2007-03-29 03:40 am UTC (link)
It also needs more incest. After all, those greek gods were ALL about the brother/sister pairings.

I think it's why people still ship Wanda/Pietro after all these years.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sarracenia
2007-03-29 04:18 am UTC (link)
That's what God/Jesus/Holy Spirit slash is for! Also, the Song of Solomon has a disturbing amount of referring to their wife as their sister, if that helps.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]barankhy
2007-03-29 12:03 pm UTC (link)
And don't forget that hot father-uncle/daughter-niece action between Zeus and Persephone according to Orphic tradition! With subsequent mpreg, even.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-03-29 03:46 am UTC (link)
I wish Jesus would seduce me. *sigh*

...

Or a guy that LOOKED like him anyway.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sarracenia
2007-03-29 04:15 am UTC (link)
You want to have sex with a zombie ant? I think they offer counseling for that.

(Really, though, I totally agree. I once spent a semester working with a guy who, if he had gained 30 pounds, would have looked exactly like all the Jesus illustrations. And who was intelligent. I spent much of the time bitching to myself about how he already had a girlfriend. Damnit.

And there ends the mandatory otf wank related anecdote.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-03-29 08:42 am UTC (link)
Ew. No. I had ants bite me on the bum once. That really hurt.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mindset
2007-03-29 06:08 pm UTC (link)
♫ No, he doesn't look a thing like Jeeeeesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined, when you were youuuuuuung ♫

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]aposiopetic
2007-03-31 12:11 am UTC (link)
I haven't seen my ex-boyfriend from high school since the summer after we all toddled off to college. In the subsequent years, we became friends on facebook and he went off to have lots of crazy shenanigans and posted photographic proof of them on said facebook.

Trust me when I say it's really weird to know that a guy that now looks creepily like Jesus has groped your tits (and been thoroughly confused by the mechanics of a bra).

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-03-31 05:24 am UTC (link)
Considering the last guy I went out with had long hair and a goatee, I'm not phased. LOL!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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