If you can't stand the wank, get out of the kitchen.
Anthony Bourdain writes up a scathing indictment of the James Beard Awards. The comments start off mostly positive, with little to no wanking about Bourdain's observations on Latinos in the culinary world.

Until Jacqueline gets involved. Suddenly, everything is about sexism!

The sexism debate rages back and forth for a bit before Sorcha brings the smack down (and the funny).

But Suzy the Pastry Chef isn't done yet! First she whines, then she pulls out the good ol' "I did it for the LULZ!" excuse. No one believes her.

Almost immediately after that, Jenn/Tikka Masala arrives, her little heart bleeding for all the underprivileged souls of the world, not just the Latino male chefs. Sorcha fires back and Suzy makes a return appearance on Jenn's side. Sorcha finally throws in the towel, tired of dealing with "the lurkers support me in e-mail" Jenn and "go blow Bourdain" Suzy.

This is why you don't wank in the kitchen, people. You get splooge in all the food.