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Full o' Doom ([info]doomsday) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-04-06 13:40:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:authorwank, baleeted

"All these Lies are spurt"
Today on [info]b0st0n, Poet Laureate hopeful deleriumschild made an excited post about her first published book. When b0st0n members pointed out her bad spelling and the fact that she published the book herself, however, her squeeing quickly turned into tantrum-throwing. Then she deleted the post (rumor has it after someone commented saying she tried to get through the book but instead burned it, cut herself, and wrote a poem).

Lucky for us, [info]_b0st0n_snark is picking up the slack and filling us in here. There's even a screencap of the original post. Most of the wank is hidden now in collapsed threads, but you can see where people are getting lubed up.

Deleriumschild made a post in her own journal about it, too:

Dear B0st0n community,
thanks for proving my point
-Embarrassed you're from my town


If you're really brave, you can read excerpts from her book, aptly titled Delirium's Child. She's deleted the book and brought it back once, to get rid of a nasty review, so if it goes away it will probably come back. Here's an example of her, uh, writing:

I've been your friend since day one
I've stuck by your side no matter what
I like you because you're a lot of fun
I know sometimes you want to take the knife
Don't do it, because it's not worth your time


ETA: Don't miss her Craigslist ad and this chat log. They're full of wtf. There's also a little more info on the deleted post here.




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(Post a new comment)


[info]demonbean
2007-04-06 09:30 pm UTC (link)
I know sometimes you want to take the knife

I ... don't even know what that means ...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-04-06 09:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]demonbean, 2007-04-06 09:39 pm UTC
Re Your Icon - [info]tofuknight, 2007-04-06 09:51 pm UTC
Something like ... - [info]demonbean, 2007-04-06 11:25 pm UTC
Re: Something like ... - [info]priestesspadfoo, 2007-04-07 03:22 am UTC
Re: Something like ... - [info]tofuknight, 2007-04-07 09:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]entrenous88, 2007-04-07 02:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caito, 2007-04-07 05:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mireille, 2007-04-07 05:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caito, 2007-04-07 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-04-07 09:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]southerngaelic, 2007-04-07 03:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-04-07 09:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2007-04-08 01:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-04-07 08:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lemone, 2007-04-07 11:30 am UTC

[info]animeg3282
2007-04-06 09:44 pm UTC (link)
I loved the bit where she posted a whiny post on craigslist to get a job

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]antigone, 2007-04-06 09:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-04-07 09:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-04-06 10:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]missdaisy, 2007-04-07 03:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kahrohseh, 2007-04-07 03:55 am UTC
(no subject) - eviemouse, 2007-04-07 09:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]itsirtou, 2007-04-06 10:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]omega, 2007-04-07 04:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2007-04-07 06:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2007-04-07 03:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2007-04-07 03:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2007-04-07 04:59 am UTC

[info]innsmouth_eyes
2007-04-06 09:52 pm UTC (link)
Ah, Lulu, publishers of such fine authors as Nickolaus Pacione.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2007-04-07 04:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2007-04-07 05:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2007-04-07 06:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2007-04-08 02:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2007-04-08 03:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]v_digitalwytch, 2007-04-07 09:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2007-04-08 03:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]v_digitalwytch, 2007-04-08 05:04 am UTC

[info]gingerkiss
2007-04-06 10:34 pm UTC (link)
The post that's linked to in this comment? Chock full of crazy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-04-06 10:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gingerkiss, 2007-04-06 10:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]demonbean, 2007-04-06 11:23 pm UTC

sockpuppet_rat
2007-04-06 10:50 pm UTC (link)
Can we make it manditory that self-published authors are required to attend at least one writing workshop or meet with a writing group at least once before they 'publish'? Is there anyway to force that into law? Because Barnes and Nobles does writing groups, damn it! I don't ever want to have to read poetry that crappy again!

Yes, I know I could have skipped the links...except I can't. I have a compulsive link-clicking problem.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-04-06 10:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2007-04-07 03:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-04-07 09:39 am UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-04-07 01:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - sockpuppet_rat, 2007-04-07 01:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-04-07 03:09 pm UTC

[info]delcj
2007-04-06 11:05 pm UTC (link)
this is the same girl who caused much headdesking in some Neil Gaiman communities awhile back, isn't it?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cjk, 2007-04-06 11:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]daylightsparks, 2007-04-06 11:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]darthmaligna, 2007-04-06 11:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]missdaisy, 2007-04-07 03:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-04-07 01:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2007-04-07 04:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2007-04-07 04:52 am UTC

[info]stella_polaris
2007-04-06 11:37 pm UTC (link)
Oh shit, it's her...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-04-07 12:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]stella_polaris, 2007-04-07 01:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-04-07 01:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]stella_polaris, 2007-04-07 01:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-04-07 01:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fevered_ego, 2007-04-07 02:30 am UTC

[info]bizzle
2007-04-06 11:43 pm UTC (link)
Screaming Hurt
You don't know who to trust
All these Lies are spurt


She speaks so eloquently of my deepest, darkest thoughts and fears.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]caito, 2007-04-07 12:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]stella_polaris, 2007-04-07 01:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bizzle, 2007-04-07 03:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lurker32, 2007-04-07 02:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2007-04-07 02:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]southerngaelic, 2007-04-07 03:17 pm UTC

[info]leto
2007-04-07 01:36 am UTC (link)
Ahh National Poetry Month wank. So very timely.

(Reply to this)


[info]issendai
2007-04-07 02:02 am UTC (link)
Oh, look... more proof of the unskilled and unaware paradox. The saddest part of this is that it seems to have eaten her entire life. I'd mock her, but I pity her too much.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-04-07 09:43 am UTC
(no subject) - eviemouse, 2007-04-07 12:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2007-04-07 01:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hristaesir, 2007-04-07 10:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-04-07 01:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2007-04-07 01:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-04-07 01:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2007-04-07 02:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-04-07 02:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2007-04-07 02:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - dracothelizard, 2007-04-07 02:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wickedwitch, 2007-04-07 06:21 pm UTC

[info]ghostmaster
2007-04-07 02:06 am UTC (link)
I'm torn between laughing at "Copy Right" and throwing up. Maybe I'll just go get some booze instead. Watermelon Pucker makes everything better.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]shinga, 2007-04-07 02:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ghostmaster, 2007-04-07 02:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2007-04-08 02:06 am UTC
COPY RIGHT TO LUKA 2007
[info]fevered_ego
2007-04-07 02:26 am UTC (link)
Oh woe, oh strife
I wish I had a butter knife
It wouldn't help me end my life
But it would look really cool.

Oh sad, oh pain
I stand out here in pouring rain
It doesn't help me, but then again
I'm in my swimming pool.

Oh wah, oh tears
I cry for years and years and years
My feelings slowly disappear....s
Am I just a fool?

Oh death, sweet death
Take my last and saddest breath
He won't date me, I cri-eth
These CutCo bread knives rule.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: COPY RIGHT TO LUKA 2007 - [info]doomsday, 2007-04-07 02:32 am UTC
Re: COPY RIGHT TO LUKA 2007 - [info]exdee, 2007-04-07 02:36 am UTC
Re: COPY RIGHT TO LUKA 2007 - [info]missdaisy, 2007-04-07 03:41 am UTC
Re: COPY RIGHT TO LUKA 2007 - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-04-07 06:47 am UTC
Re: COPY RIGHT TO LUKA 2007 - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2007-04-07 04:39 am UTC
Re: COPY RIGHT TO LUKA 2007 - [info]puipui, 2007-04-07 08:16 am UTC
Re: COPY RIGHT TO LUKA 2007 - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-04-07 09:44 am UTC
Re: COPY RIGHT TO LUKA 2007 - [info]southerngaelic, 2007-04-07 03:19 pm UTC
Re: COPY RIGHT TO LUKA 2007 - [info]txvoodoo, 2007-04-08 05:35 pm UTC
Re: COPY RIGHT TO LUKA 2007 - [info]greenling, 2007-04-10 06:01 am UTC

[info]sisterelwood
2007-04-07 02:28 am UTC (link)
All other things aside? That chatlog makes me weep for the future of the human race. It was like reading another language. ;_;

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-04-07 02:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2007-04-07 02:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-04-07 02:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-04-07 06:53 am UTC

[info]chibikaijuu
2007-04-07 02:31 am UTC (link)
Man, and I thought I was being annoying this National Poetry Month by posting the entirety of The Hunting of the Snark in my LJ without a cut.

(Also, I wrote better poetry when I was seven. And I'm a crap poet.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]touchofstrange, 2007-04-07 03:08 am UTC

[info]ecchaniz0r
2007-04-07 03:01 am UTC (link)
Alas for Deliriumschild!
Poor oppresséd poet, self-styled--
Oh, her 'tude or her verse
We're not sure which is worse
And thus mock upon mock, snark art piled.

(And ecchaniz0r's not a poet.
They done told me, and oh, don't I know it.
While limericks are dandy
With this form I'm not handy
Because I try to shove as many syllables into the last line as I can, and thus blow it.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-04-07 03:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2007-04-07 03:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cinnamonical, 2007-04-07 05:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2007-04-07 06:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarai, 2007-04-07 06:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2007-04-07 03:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-04-07 06:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2007-04-07 03:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-04-07 05:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]southerngaelic, 2007-04-07 03:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]onaga, 2007-04-07 04:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lurker32, 2007-04-07 07:47 pm UTC

[info]missdaisy
2007-04-07 03:19 am UTC (link)
Not really part of the wank, but [info]skate97's comment really cracked me up.

also "I can learn anything as long as I am taught." umm...isn't that redundant?

Oh, [info]skate97, [info]skate97, clearly you've never had the joy of training someone.

(Reply to this)


[info]hallidae
2007-04-07 03:26 am UTC (link)
Ooh, ooh, can we bust out the rewritten nursery rhymes for this one like we did with the stupid essay about a star?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-04-07 03:31 am UTC

[info]funwithrage
2007-04-07 03:43 am UTC (link)
Yay, Boston! I'm once again proud to be part of this town, after hiding my head for, like, *months* after the Mooninites thing.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bobgenghiskhan, 2007-04-11 11:06 pm UTC

rachelthedemon
2007-04-07 04:27 am UTC (link)
Holy mother...

I can't write poetry for shit, and even I could come up with something better than that.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]caito, 2007-04-07 04:59 am UTC

[info]wrongly_amused
2007-04-07 05:07 am UTC (link)
Man, it's like a horrifying train wreck between Linkin Park and a clinically depressed fifth grader. Yet I can't turn away.


Also - Your icon is just plain mean. I mean, c'mon - look at who his father is! Luke never had a chance, man.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-04-07 07:54 am UTC
Don't Be Mean
[info]criticalcricket
2007-04-07 05:37 am UTC (link)
You imagine the knife
Slicing my throat
Starting up strife
And wringing my scrote
The sadness wells within
SCREAMING HURT
You're not someone to trust
All your lies are spurt!
There! The Crevasse!
Fill it with your mighty juice!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Don't Be Mean - [info]issendai, 2007-04-07 06:00 am UTC
Re: Don't Be Mean - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2007-04-07 06:03 am UTC
Re: Don't Be Mean - [info]southerngaelic, 2007-04-07 03:39 pm UTC

[info]dragonfangirl
2007-04-07 09:53 am UTC (link)
If F_W comes up with enough mocking poems, can we publish our own poetry book?

There was a poet, an emo young poet
Up in old Boston town.
And there she wrote a book so goth
That the Boston community, in a froth
Chimed in to put it down.

(Reply to this)


[info]onyxnoir
2007-04-07 10:09 am UTC (link)
Her poems sound like they were written with the help of this handy tool.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - sockpuppet_rat, 2007-04-07 08:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2007-04-08 02:12 am UTC

sockpuppet_rat
2007-04-07 08:37 pm UTC (link)
I wanna write a poem!

*ahem*

Alone
Aloooooooone
ALONE! ALONE! ALONE!
I am alone
so alone
all alone
IN THE DARKNESS
my soul
aloooooooooone
alone
alone

(Reply to this)(Thread)

BARTENDING IN THE DARK!! - [info]tofuknight, 2007-04-07 10:04 pm UTC
Re: BARTENDING IN THE DARK!! - sockpuppet_rat, 2007-04-08 01:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-04-08 04:37 am UTC
From the Baldrick School of Poetry, I assume? - [info]visp, 2007-04-08 12:22 pm UTC
I'm gonna do these until I run out of inspiration.
[info]hallidae
2007-04-07 10:05 pm UTC (link)
::whips out the re-tooled nursery rhymes::

As we walked past the old oak tree,
We saw a Child's book of poetry,
One opened it up and read aloud,
How many bad poems were shared by the crowd?
One that was painful,
Two that were trite,
Three that waxed lyrical,
Four that simply bite,
Five that read horribly,
Six that left me cold,
And seven of the poems I wish I'd never been told.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: I'm gonna do these until I run out of inspiration. - [info]hallidae, 2007-04-07 10:09 pm UTC
Re: I'm gonna do these until I run out of inspiration. - [info]hallidae, 2007-04-07 10:14 pm UTC


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