Log In

Home
    - Create Journal
    - Update
    - Download

LiveJournal
    - News
    - Paid Accounts
    - Contributors

Customize
    - Customize Journal
    - Create Style
    - Edit Style

Find Users
    - Random!
    - By Region
    - By Interest
    - Search

Edit ...
    - Personal Info &
      Settings
    - Your Friends
    - Old Entries
    - Your Pictures
    - Your Password

Developer Area

Need Help?
    - Lost Password?
    - Freq. Asked
      Questions
    - Support Area



Jon "Bad Wasabi" Wood ([info]mcity) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-04-18 18:14:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
slappy internets slapfight
On Weepingcock, a community dedicated to making fun of bad sex descriptions in fiction, an excerpt is posted. The excerpt in question involves slappy testicles. The OP says
Seriously, I think these authors forget the basics of how male anatomy functions.


Some guy named tenou_k throws a hissyfit. Or something. Cue people arguing, insulting, and generally violating Sealink's Law of Saccharine Condescension.

That said; aw, mousie!


(Post a new comment)


[info]puipui
2007-04-18 10:37 pm UTC (link)
OMG weepingcock wank! My little comm's all growed up! *wipes away tear*

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]ladybirdsleeps
2007-04-18 11:37 pm UTC (link)
I think that maybe it's time we give weepingcock... the talk. "Sweetheart, you're getting bigger now. That means that you may feel the urge to, you know... wank. It's only natural."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-18 11:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2007-04-19 01:20 am UTC
(no subject) - ealusaid, 2007-04-19 12:06 am UTC

[info]m_butterfly
2007-04-18 11:59 pm UTC (link)
*snuffles* I remember when it was so wee and cute and all the spooge was in the quotes, not covering the members!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-19 12:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]randomsome1, 2007-04-19 12:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2007-04-19 12:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]randomsome1, 2007-04-20 04:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]semtex, 2007-04-20 05:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-19 12:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]semtex, 2007-04-19 02:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2007-04-19 01:25 am UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-04-19 02:34 am UTC

[info]fuzzybluelogic
2007-04-19 01:33 am UTC (link)
Woe. My request for membership was declined.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2007-04-19 02:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fuzzybluelogic, 2007-04-19 02:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fuzzybluelogic, 2007-04-19 02:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2007-04-19 02:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fuzzybluelogic, 2007-04-19 04:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2007-04-19 03:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2007-04-19 04:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2007-04-19 02:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-19 03:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-19 03:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2007-04-19 04:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]digigirl132, 2007-04-19 04:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-19 04:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2007-04-19 04:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]digigirl132, 2007-04-19 06:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]arielchan, 2007-04-22 05:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]melusina, 2007-04-21 05:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-04-19 04:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-19 05:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pet, 2007-04-21 11:40 pm UTC

[info]demonbean
2007-04-18 10:38 pm UTC (link)
Aren't nymphs traditionally female? "Nymph man" doesn't sound very masculine at all...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - ealusaid, 2007-04-18 10:40 pm UTC

[info]alya1989262
2007-04-18 10:40 pm UTC (link)
I love how tnou_k is the one who brings up his homosexuality in the first place, then is all 'If you want to bring my sexuality into the discussion, then do it when it's relevant.'

I mean, buh?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2007-04-18 10:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2007-04-18 11:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]digigirl132, 2007-04-19 04:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2007-04-19 04:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2007-04-21 02:05 am UTC

[info]doomsday
2007-04-18 10:45 pm UTC (link)
I'm pretty choosy about testicles.

One can never be too picky when it comes to selecting a scrotum. Size, color, hairiness, texture, elasticity, and symmetry should all be taken into careful consideration. This set of testes may be with you forever, so please, take your time deciding.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hangingfire, 2007-04-18 11:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2007-04-19 02:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2007-04-19 01:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-04-19 01:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-04-19 04:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2007-04-19 06:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-04-19 10:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2007-04-19 01:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-04-19 04:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2007-04-19 02:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-04-19 04:53 am UTC

[info]snacky
2007-04-18 10:45 pm UTC (link)
But where is the "Please, no cockbashing?"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-18 10:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - ealusaid, 2007-04-18 11:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2007-04-18 11:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2007-04-18 11:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-18 11:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ehann, 2007-04-19 01:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shark, 2007-04-19 05:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amxjm, 2007-04-19 06:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]drakyndra, 2007-04-19 06:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shark, 2007-04-19 02:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]innsmouth_eyes, 2007-04-20 04:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]edana_ni_emer, 2007-04-20 03:36 pm UTC

[info]hallidae
2007-04-18 10:52 pm UTC (link)
God, I still can't read that passage without just falling all over the place laughing.

(Reply to this)


[info]randomsome1
2007-04-18 11:07 pm UTC (link)
Aw, you got to it before I could.


So let me get this straight: From my experience and from info gleaned from the guys I've asked, the scrotum tightens to the body so it doesn't flap around and slap things during sex because Ow, no, bad. It looks like tenou_k is insisting that his flaps around anyway . . . but later goes on to say that yes, generally it behaves like I said it does, and his flappy-slappy is really just some sort of impact.

Maybe I should've addressed the community as "Boys and girls," so he could freak out over "THINK OF THE TRANNIES U HOR!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]frau_eva, 2007-04-20 02:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]randomsome1, 2007-04-21 04:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]njyoder, 2007-04-25 07:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]randomsome1, 2007-04-25 12:27 pm UTC

[info]joye
2007-04-18 11:09 pm UTC (link)
Is it bad that I'm picturing the balls as Daffy Duck in his Robin Hood guise?
What ho! Ha-ha! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Turn! Slap! Ha!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]xero_sky, 2007-04-18 11:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]silrana, 2007-04-19 12:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-04-19 04:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cinnamonical, 2007-04-19 09:39 pm UTC

[info]tehrin
2007-04-18 11:10 pm UTC (link)
For some reason, it bothers me with 'mate' is used in fiction to describe someone's lover. I dunno why. Anyone else feel this?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]singe, 2007-04-18 11:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaimonkey, 2007-04-18 11:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2007-04-19 01:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]xero_sky, 2007-04-18 11:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2007-04-19 01:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]joye, 2007-04-18 11:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-04-19 12:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]joye, 2007-04-19 01:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-04-19 01:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]joye, 2007-04-19 01:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]keri, 2007-04-19 02:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-04-19 02:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]keri, 2007-04-19 02:20 am UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-04-19 03:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]suzycat, 2007-04-22 09:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2007-04-19 01:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2007-04-19 01:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2007-04-19 01:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2007-04-19 02:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caoilte, 2007-04-19 10:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lykomancer, 2007-04-19 01:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]squib, 2007-04-19 04:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seraphtrevs, 2007-04-19 05:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-19 04:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]limyaael, 2007-04-19 03:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2007-04-19 03:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]goldberry, 2007-04-19 04:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2007-04-19 05:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2007-04-19 02:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]daylightsparks, 2007-04-20 02:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]goldberry, 2007-04-20 04:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aposiopetic, 2007-04-19 04:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]onaga, 2007-04-19 04:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-04-19 02:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]yaoiko, 2007-04-19 05:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amxjm, 2007-04-19 07:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lady7jane, 2007-04-19 03:01 pm UTC

[info]chaimonkey
2007-04-18 11:18 pm UTC (link)
Is that picture of Mischa's boyfriend for real?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-04-18 11:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-04-19 12:04 am UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2007-04-18 11:22 pm UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2007-04-19 01:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-19 01:29 am UTC
Or - [info]semtex, 2007-04-19 03:02 am UTC

[info]singe
2007-04-18 11:22 pm UTC (link)
Gah, that was a workout for my scroll finger. I like it better when wankers express themselves simply.

"U SUK!!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2007-04-18 11:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2007-04-19 01:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2007-04-19 04:18 am UTC

[info]katarin
2007-04-18 11:33 pm UTC (link)
dude... there is so much teel dear I fear my eyes won't ever recover from the glaze that's covered them. Can some one summarize this for me? Maybe provide bulletpoint summaries?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2007-04-18 11:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]njyoder, 2007-04-25 07:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2007-04-25 06:13 pm UTC

[info]pokecheck
2007-04-18 11:45 pm UTC (link)
Now I'm thinking of the the fish slapping dance from Monty Python!

Help me!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-18 11:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2007-04-19 12:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-04-19 12:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2007-04-19 12:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sisterelwood, 2007-04-19 12:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]joye, 2007-04-19 12:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-04-19 12:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2007-04-19 01:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-04-19 02:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2007-04-19 12:09 pm UTC

[info]wrongly_amused
2007-04-19 12:44 am UTC (link)
As it's only fair, the one defense to [info]tenou_k is that I would kind of lend credence to a man's authority on the subject of his own genitalia. On the other hand, I also have no idea why it's a matter he would go about flailing as wildly as those testicles he so dearly upholds.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]luna_hoshino, 2007-04-19 03:00 am UTC

vomitymcpuke
2007-04-19 12:57 am UTC (link)
Oh, male genitalia, always so amusing!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ehann, 2007-04-19 01:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]damien, 2007-04-19 03:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-04-19 01:49 pm UTC

[info]chaos_theory
2007-04-19 03:33 am UTC (link)
I can think of is the first unscrambled porn I ever saw, called memorably Juranal Park, which had a horrendous and hilarious sex scene where a woman with a very nasal and pronouced Brooklyn accent kept trying to seductively murmur "Ohhh, your balls are slapping my ass, your balls are slapping my ass!" Appearently the director thought that was a selling point. The only other scene I can remember isthe one where, to simulate dinosaurs attacking a building, someone held plastic toy dinosaurs up really close to the camera while wiggling them up and down and making rawrrrr! noises.

Which leads me to conclude that all the best porn comes from the back rooms of tourist shops on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hellespont, 2007-04-19 03:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-04-19 04:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-19 03:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]solle, 2007-04-19 03:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wanktastic, 2007-04-19 04:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerinc, 2007-04-19 07:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-04-19 11:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2007-04-20 04:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aposiopetic, 2007-04-19 04:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-04-19 02:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aposiopetic, 2007-04-19 03:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seraphtrevs, 2007-04-19 05:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hickorydickory, 2007-04-19 03:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]torawashi, 2007-04-19 04:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-04-20 03:07 am UTC

[info]napalmnacey
2007-04-19 05:03 am UTC (link)
But now you're just coming off as the super gay love expert

That's - that's just beautiful. SUPER GAY LOVE EXPERT! It's a new superhero, right there.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2007-04-19 11:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-04-19 10:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-04-20 03:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]solar_type_star, 2007-04-19 09:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-04-19 10:40 pm UTC

[info]black_spot
2007-04-19 06:23 am UTC (link)
What a great way to wake in the morning. Reading this whilst drinking my coffee has cured my hangover. Giggling – the natural cure for all ills.

(Reply to this)


[info]tetsuki
2007-04-19 08:18 am UTC (link)
For some reason, all I can think about is Meatspin.

"You spin me right round, baby, right round..."

YARGGGHH.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2007-04-19 07:03 pm UTC

[info]souris
2007-04-19 02:23 pm UTC (link)
Never mind the wank: that community is amazing. Though I can't quite decide if I should start reading older posts now, or follow the link in this one, because "aharr"? I'll never stop laughing.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-04-19 08:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]number13baby, 2007-04-22 01:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]semtex, 2007-04-20 06:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]judyhazeleyes, 2007-04-21 09:48 pm UTC

[info]njyoder
2007-04-25 07:16 am UTC (link)
How is that a hissy fit? He made a good point to some women who thought they had a good understanding of male anatomy, but didn't. They were just dense and refused to get it, hence the repeated replies.

(Reply to this)


 
   
Privacy Policy - COPPA
Legal Disclaimer - Site Map