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napalmnacey ([info]napalmnacey) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-04-30 10:41:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Amazed
Current music:Heart - Soul of the Sea

Vegan Stupid: In Varying Fun, Full Flavours!
Ganked from stupid_free (I'm hoping [info]zannechaos both doesn't mind the fact that it's borne of stupid_free and appreciative of all the effort I shall be putting into this post).

Predictable disclaimer: My best friend is a vegan! I'm focusing on the stupid, not the ethics, folks.

This post is like a vegan wank BOMB. You go into it expecting one little trickle and suddenly you're in a big ol' puddle of splooge. It's coming (hah!) from all directions too, I don't know where to start. I feel like Belladonna! Okay, we'll start at the beginning!

There's a post in [info]veganism from a concerned [info]iammicah who is going to study abroad in México. Very RURAL México. Poor, rural - you get the idea. She says she can't reasonably continue her veganism for the four months she's there so she's going to slowly wean herself back onto meat after being vegan for six years. She was wondering if anyone there had any tips for her? It's kinda like asking a priest for sex tips but hey, maybe someone there might know so it's not ENTIRELY unreasonable.



Well, that's pretty much what she got back in the form of incredibly literate [info]kari_louise:

get out of this community if you want help not being vegan. why dont you try asking for hep being vegan in a foreign country before decisiong to throw away 6 years. everything youve stood for and worked so hard for 6 years is going to be crap now, everyone will cal you a hypocrite and if you ever go back to vegan people wi just augh at you "sure just another phase". read vegan freak it might help you.

Oh, she's pretty special, this one. Even the other vegans are going "Bzuh?!" at the rage involved. Obviously they just don't get what a TRUE vegan [info]kari_louise is.

Of course, other people urge her to not give up her vegan ways. [info]vanityisdeath went to México! Of course, he went to a city rather than a farm. He says:

Mexican people are some of the most considerate I have ever met. If you kindly explain to them (before they prepare you a meal) your dietary needs I'm sure they will cater to you. (bold mine).

Yeah, maybe you might want them to polish your floors for you too, hombré?

A little further down the thread, [info]kari_louise wins the Supreme Stupid award by calling an Orthodox Jewish woman "Hitler". But she doesn't stop there. It's time for a flounce and a reminder to all of the community rules!

[info]kari_louise: can i remind the community for who and what this is for?

What. This journal is intended to be a supportive community for vegans and those who wish to become vegan. As the community progresses we hope to make an informative, comprehensive journal as well as encourage discussions on veganism and animal rights. We support the fight for animal liberation and abolishing all forms of animal exploitation through protests, boycotts, civil disobedience and non-violent direct action (taking into account that you cannot inflict acts of violence against property and other material items).

Who. We welcome all types of vegans: animal-rights oriented, health-oriented, etc.



why was this post even allowed? i dont see where this says its supportive for people who want to stop being vegan.


(bolding hers)

But everyone tells her to STFU, which is wholly satisfying to read.

Of course, if in moral doubt, reference Star Trek:

[info]gsyh: In Star Trek, the Vulcans are vegetarians, but, they do know how to hunt and gather and during their survival trips they eat stuff like lizards that they found. Their reasoning is that if they could easily avoid causing any harm even to non-sentient beings in their daily life they should as it is the logical thing to do. If the consumption of animal life is necessary for survival, then it will be illogical to feel guilty over it because the lions gotta do what the lions gotta do to survive.

Makes me wonder whether they eat replicated meat since it's molecularly the same but nothing died...


... OKAY! Don't let Faux Klingons send REAL Americans to war, people! Or should that be... don't let Real Starfleet Officers and Vulcans eat Faux Chickens? Anyhoo, moving on!

This whole scuffle is taken to [info]stupid_free and that's where it develops and grows, like a fine wine vinegar. It's vegan bashing time! Amusing macro time, too!

It's at this point that [info]entelodont (that username makes me think "Entelo-DO!") links to a seperate, equally "WTF?!" inducing wank on [info]veganpeople where [info]sophia_corvino asks:

Ok -- question:

Birth control or no birth control pill? There are numerous bad ingredients in the pill and its most likely tested on animals. I'm on it right now for regulation and for the obvious -- but I need some advice in deciding to continue it.

Also -- what about prescription drugs? If its for something not-so-serious, do you take them?


Enter our next wanker - [info]willfishguy! - who believes in the POWER of VEGETABLES! He seems to also have missed that wank about English Majors (All eleventy hundred of them) and that putting "As a..." at the beginning of something doesn't mean shit.

[info]willfishguy: As a male, I sometimes like to express my opinion in regard to the birth control pills. I'm on the 'never ever take that garbage' side, but I usually dig myself into a hole when I do express it.

... What, NO, REALLY?! I don't believe it! A wordsmith and paragon of sensitivity such as yourself must be convincing hundreds of women that BCPs are wrong and evil! As a female, I sometimes like to express my opinion that half-witted grunts like yourself should mind your own friggin' business, but I'm wanking on myself here. The real jewel of this kerfuffle is when [info]willfishguy (am I the only one reading that as 'willful selfish'?) responds to a poster's comment that she absolutely *has* to take her asthma medication. Or she'll, you know, *die*.

[info]willfishguy: Asthma can be cured in thirty days. By first removing specific foods, then by taking daily doses of MSM and most importantly learning to beathe [sic] properly.

There is no internet slang, no meme, no macro nor funny little ASCII art piece that can properly express my absolute and utter FLABBERGASTEDNESS at that comment. See, I had to resort to made up shit using fictional words, I'm so full of :O

I leave you with that, my fine wankas.

ETA: Edited cause my brain failed and so did my grammar.



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]threegoldfish
2007-04-30 01:26 pm UTC (link)
Willfishguy is a total twat-waffle. I was never more relieved than when he got banned from my favorite fish comm.

Also? He believes that kidneys regain lost function.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ecchaniz0r
2007-04-30 01:31 pm UTC (link)
AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAhhahahaaa someone give me a med text to hit him with :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]threegoldfish
2007-04-30 01:42 pm UTC (link)
See the abuse inherent in the Western Medicine System?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]threegoldfish
2007-04-30 01:44 pm UTC (link)
Damn, got that quote wrong.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ecchaniz0r
2007-04-30 04:24 pm UTC (link)
it was still funny. XD

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-04-30 01:40 pm UTC (link)
Actually - my brother's cat's kidneys didn't seem to be working, and a day later they were. We don't know why or how, it was really weird. We think it was the shock of being hit by a car. He's not out of the woods yet and his leg's still broken, but we're thanking God for the little miracle that we got.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]threegoldfish
2007-04-30 01:43 pm UTC (link)
Hm, shock sounds likely. Shock shuts down a lot of functions that can be regained so long as you can keep the body alive long enough to get itself back together. Glad to hear that the kitty is pulling through though!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-04-30 01:51 pm UTC (link)
Dude, so am I. He's my cat's little playmate. Comes visiting from around the corner to play with her (my nephew brings him). He's the brother of my kitten, Rogue. I've been worrying terribly about him (full chest-beating and moaning in my lj).

It's mad cause my brother-in-law was getting ready to give the word to put the cat down just yesterday. We even all went to say goodbye. I felt so guilty for the amount of times I yelled at that cat for eating all of Rogue's food. LOL! I was bawling like an idiot, holding his furry little kitty face going, "Who's going to eat all the food NOOOOW?!" Then he perked up after our visit and got much better by the next day.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]alya1989262
2007-04-30 02:48 pm UTC (link)
I was bawling like an idiot, holding his furry little kitty face going, "Who's going to eat all the food NOOOOW?!"

... This is the cutest thing I have EVER heard. Ever.

I can't imagine putting a cat down, much less being able to say goodbye.

My brother's friend left his two-months-old kitty in our care for a month when he was abroad and he was the cutest and most adorable cat ever (and also a huge eater :D). Two weeks after he got him back, little kitty decided to jump out the window (on the third floor) and fell to his death. I bawled my eyes out over that one.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-04-30 02:53 pm UTC (link)
Hehe. *blush*

Oh, it's very hard but I had to see him again. He's such a sweetheart and I thought his family should be around him. Our visit actually helped.

And now Rogue is trying to steal my sandwich, the whore.

Eesh. That's terrible! Cats aren't terribly bright at times, I'm afraid. I've had to make Rogue an inside cat cause she's not a very smart girl with roads and nature. Good with human habitats, though. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]alya1989262
2007-04-30 03:06 pm UTC (link)
*grins* What a whore! Maybe it's because he dosn't get to eat much when his brother is over? :P Poor starving little kitty. ;)

Yeah, that little kitty in particular was very "innocent" (in a 'what are those fingers moving around? You're playing with me right?' kind of way). It was cute, but yeah, it got him in trouble. Still, poor thing. :(

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-04-30 03:11 pm UTC (link)
Rogue's actually a girl. I named her after the character from X-Men. Yes, I'm a dork. LOL!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2007-04-30 03:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-04-30 03:21 pm UTC
Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]marciamarcia
2007-04-30 02:34 pm UTC (link)
I was almost killed years ago by a Centrum vitamin

I like how he leaves this open-ended. Did he choke on it? Was it part of some evil capitalist doctor conspiracy? Did it beat him up in an alley? Who knows...


(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]napalmnacey
2007-04-30 02:36 pm UTC (link)
Are you feeling a hundred percent?

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]threegoldfish
2007-04-30 02:38 pm UTC (link)
My mom accidently inhaled a multivitamin once and spent the day coughing up orange foam. Myabe it was something like that. We can only hope a One-A-Day will come along and finish the job.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]singe
2007-04-30 04:19 pm UTC (link)
spent the day coughing up orange foam

Oh, YUUUUUUCK. Poor woman.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]queencallipygos
2007-04-30 06:05 pm UTC (link)
My mom accidently inhaled a multivitamin once and spent the day coughing up orange foam.

I'm so, so sorry, but all I can think of when I read this is that scene from the third Harry Potter movie when Ron holds his wand backwards and casts a spell on his own self, and spends the next half hour or so spitting a slug out of his mouth every five minutes.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]chibikaijuu
2007-05-01 12:46 am UTC (link)
..that's from the second one.

/dweeb

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]cookie_love
2007-04-30 04:23 pm UTC (link)
"Killed by"? He makes it sound like an attempt on his life.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]puipui
2007-04-30 05:49 pm UTC (link)
Now I want an icon of a little vitamin with little arms and legs and a happy face drawn on, armed with a little knife. Beautiful!

Or, failing that, an icon of one of those old drawings of the Lincoln assassination, with a Centrum photoshopped over the face of John Wilkes Booth.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]gunshou
2007-04-30 09:06 pm UTC (link)
That made me giggle uncontrollably for awhile, but that could be because I'm really tired.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]threegoldfish
2007-05-01 12:25 am UTC (link)
WIN.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]plazmah
2007-05-01 05:40 pm UTC (link)
OMGLOVE.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]puipui
2007-05-02 05:50 pm UTC (link)
OMG I love you. *loves*

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Now he almost dead from Centrum
[info]kittenmommy
2007-04-30 07:46 pm UTC (link)
Now he ded from Centrum.

Honest to God, just when I think people can't get any stupider more bizarre, I read something like this. And I agree with everyone who says that needs to be iconned. Such idiocy should be immortalized for all time!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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