Current mood:	Amazed
Current music:	Heart - Soul of the Sea

Vegan Stupid: In Varying Fun, Full Flavours!
Ganked from stupid_free (I'm hoping zannechaos both doesn't mind the fact that it's borne of stupid_free and appreciative of all the effort I shall be putting into this post).

Predictable disclaimer: ~~My best friend is a vegan!~~ I'm focusing on the stupid, not the ethics, folks.

This post is like a vegan wank BOMB. You go into it expecting one little trickle and suddenly you're in a big ol' puddle of splooge. It's coming (hah!) from all directions too, I don't know where to start. I feel like Belladonna! Okay, we'll start at the beginning!

There's a post in veganism from a concerned iammicah who is going to study abroad in México. Very RURAL México. Poor, rural - you get the idea. She says she can't reasonably continue her veganism for the four months she's there so she's going to slowly wean herself back onto meat after being vegan for six years. She was wondering if anyone there had any tips for her? It's kinda like asking a priest for sex tips but hey, maybe someone there might know so it's not ENTIRELY unreasonable.

Well, that's pretty much what she got back in the form of incredibly literate kari_louise:

get out of this community if you want help not being vegan. why dont you try asking for hep being vegan in a foreign country before decisiong to throw away 6 years. everything youve stood for and worked so hard for 6 years is going to be crap now, everyone will cal you a hypocrite and if you ever go back to vegan people wi just augh at you "sure just another phase". read vegan freak it might help you.

Oh, she's pretty special, this one. Even the other vegans are going "Bzuh?!" at the rage involved. Obviously they just don't get what a TRUE vegan kari_louise is.

Of course, other people urge her to not give up her vegan ways. vanityisdeath went to México! Of course, he went to a city rather than a farm. He says:

Mexican people are some of the most considerate I have ever met. If you kindly explain to them (before they prepare you a meal) your dietary needs I'm sure they will cater to you. (bold mine).

Yeah, maybe you might want them to polish your floors for you too, hombré?

A little further down the thread, kari_louise wins the Supreme Stupid award by calling an Orthodox Jewish woman "Hitler". But she doesn't stop there. It's time for a flounce and a reminder to all of the community rules!

kari_louise: can i remind the community for who and what this is for?

What. This journal is intended to be a supportive community for vegans and those who wish to become vegan. As the community progresses we hope to make an informative, comprehensive journal as well as encourage discussions on veganism and animal rights. We support the fight for animal liberation and abolishing all forms of animal exploitation through protests, boycotts, civil disobedience and non-violent direct action (taking into account that you cannot inflict acts of violence against property and other material items).

Who. We welcome all types of vegans: animal-rights oriented, health-oriented, etc.

why was this post even allowed? i dont see where this says its supportive for people who want to stop being vegan.

(bolding hers)

But everyone tells her to STFU, which is wholly satisfying to read.

Of course, if in moral doubt, reference Star Trek:

gsyh: In Star Trek, the Vulcans are vegetarians, but, they do know how to hunt and gather and during their survival trips they eat stuff like lizards that they found. Their reasoning is that if they could easily avoid causing any harm even to non-sentient beings in their daily life they should as it is the logical thing to do. If the consumption of animal life is necessary for survival, then it will be illogical to feel guilty over it because the lions gotta do what the lions gotta do to survive.

Makes me wonder whether they eat replicated meat since it's molecularly the same but nothing died...

... OKAY! Don't let Faux Klingons send REAL Americans to war, people! Or should that be... don't let Real Starfleet Officers and Vulcans eat Faux Chickens? Anyhoo, moving on!

This whole scuffle is taken to stupid_free and that's where it develops and grows, like a fine ~~wine~~ vinegar. It's vegan bashing time! Amusing macro time, too!

It's at this point that entelodont (that username makes me think "Entelo-DO!") links to a seperate, equally "WTF?!" inducing wank on veganpeople where sophia_corvino asks:

Ok -- question:

Birth control or no birth control pill? There are numerous bad ingredients in the pill and its most likely tested on animals. I'm on it right now for regulation and for the obvious -- but I need some advice in deciding to continue it.

Also -- what about prescription drugs? If its for something not-so-serious, do you take them?

Enter our next wanker - willfishguy! - who believes in the POWER of VEGETABLES! He seems to also have missed that wank about English Majors (All eleventy hundred of them) and that putting "As a..." at the beginning of something doesn't mean shit.

willfishguy: As a male, I sometimes like to express my opinion in regard to the birth control pills. I'm on the 'never ever take that garbage' side, but I usually dig myself into a hole when I do express it.

... What, NO, REALLY?! I don't believe it! A wordsmith and paragon of sensitivity such as yourself must be convincing hundreds of women that BCPs are wrong and evil! As a female, I sometimes like to express my opinion that half-witted grunts like yourself should mind your own friggin' business, but I'm wanking on myself here. The real jewel of this kerfuffle is when willfishguy (am I the only one reading that as 'willful selfish'?) responds to a poster's comment that she absolutely *has* to take her asthma medication. Or she'll, you know, *die*.

willfishguy: Asthma can be cured in thirty days. By first removing specific foods, then by taking daily doses of MSM and most importantly learning to beathe [sic] properly.

There is no internet slang, no meme, no macro nor funny little ASCII art piece that can properly express my absolute and utter FLABBERGASTEDNESS at that comment. See, I had to resort to ~~made up shit~~ using fictional words, I'm so full of :O

I leave you with that, my fine wankas.

ETA: Edited cause my brain failed and so did my grammar.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	vigilanterodent 2007-04-30 04:57 pm UTC (link)
	Because stupid happens regardless of one's food preferences, I have to say I really rolled my eyes hard at aequanoctis's comment about how vegans should accommodate non-vegans by making them non-vegan meals. I think someone may be a little unclear on the concept. (Reply to this)(Thread)

dez_chan
2007-04-30 05:24 pm UTC (link)

O_o That thread makes my cooking hurt.

It would help if there was a little flag concealed within that popped up when the meat was cooked, maybe a bell.

...Meat isn't this hard, I promise! And if it really is, there's the food network or a cookbook or your gran or someone around you who probably knows how to cook meat and can show you. Or you can start terrifying your carnivorous friends by serving them strictly [insert meat here] carpaccio.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

vigilanterodent
2007-04-30 05:41 pm UTC (link)

I dunno, I think I (normally a vegetarian) would be nervous with certain meats. Fish I cook about once a month, and I think I remember more or less how to handle chicken, but if I have a guest who wants beef or pork, they're welcome to it only if they'll do the cooking.

I mean, if I wanted to switch to regular meat-eating then I would get someone to teach me, but learning how to just so I can feed a guest food they're used to? I'm pretty sure the rules of hospitality don't go that far.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dez_chan 2007-04-30 06:09 pm UTC (link)
	I dunno, I think the crock-pot and the george forman grill have made me intolerant. It's just too damn easy; how much does it weigh = X-amount of minutes on ye-olde grill. It's not gourmet cooking, but it gets the job done especially if said dish isn't your forte. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

vigilanterodent
2007-04-30 07:08 pm UTC (link)

Possibly. But, see, here's the problem. You know what steak (for example) is supposed to look, taste and feel like after X-amount of minutes on ye-olde grill, whereas I have no idea. My closest encounter with steak in the past decade (my family stopped eating beef when I was twelve) has been on other people's plates in restaurants, and it's not like I'm going to ask them to hack off a bit so I can poke and prod at it.

Ergo, if I screw up the cooking process somehow I won't necessarily spot the warning signs. And giving your guests E. coli seems like a big hospitality no-no.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

dez_chan
2007-04-30 08:32 pm UTC (link)

Oh, but E coli is the gift that keeps on giving! No, but I think most modern-day grill-thingies have a "cookbook" that comes with them to tell you how many minutes to cook things.

Bah, this whole subject is silly anyway. Just have a potluck if it's friends, that way they can make their own messes in their own kitchens.

Speaking of which, my dumplin's are done. *Dez vanish*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

vigilanterodent
2007-05-01 06:51 am UTC (link)

. . . You know, just yesterday I was making a loaf of pumpkin bread, followed the instructions perfectly, had the oven set to the right temperature, had the right size pan, had the right height rack, etc. etc., and when I took it out at the end of the recommended time and sliced into it, I found out that part of it was still a little gooey and undercooked. Weird stuff can happen when you're cooking, especially when you cook (as I try to) from scratch.

I'm just saying.

This is a silly argument, though, you're right.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

calystarose
2007-05-01 06:48 am UTC (link)

And giving your guests E. coli seems like a big hospitality no-no.

LMFAO! hehe

I was raised entirely vegetarian, though not quite vegan we still had milk and eggs in our diet, so I knew shit about cooking meat until I got a job in a deli/bakery at a grocery store. But even with all the practice I got there I still had to ask for help when I cooked some t-bone steaks for my roommate and her boyfriend. Fortunately I errored in the 'slightly overdone' direction. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)

digigirl132
2007-04-30 11:43 pm UTC (link)

The easiest way to cook meat is to keep a meat thermomiter with you. As long as the core tempature is about 160 degrees Farenheight, it's good to eat. as far as I know from the people around me, meat eaters aren't terribly picky. If something is wrong with the meat (dry, overcooked, a little crispy), they can generally solve the problem with a little BBQ or steak sauce. You just have to make sure it's not undercooked, so your guests don't get food poisoning.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

edana_ni_emer
2007-05-01 03:59 pm UTC (link)

Actually, for cuts of meat (as opposed to ground meat), as long as the *outside* is of the proper temperature, and the meat hasn't been left somewhere to spoil, then all you really have to do is cook the surface. A steak, for example, shouldn't *have* bacteria on the inside to need to be killed. That's why extra-rare is still okay, as long as the outside's been browned properly.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	digigirl132 2007-05-01 04:35 pm UTC (link)
	Oh yeah! I forgot that. XD I was thinking of chicken and pork, since that's what we usually eat at home. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

edana_ni_emer
2007-05-01 04:40 pm UTC (link)

Well, yeah. With pork you have to deal with the risk of trichinosis, and chicken's just kind of gross if you under-cook it. Steak, however, should be carefully nurtured over minimal heat so it doesn't lose its natural texture and flavor. :-9

In other words: Yes, I *do* want my plate to look like I just murdered someone after I get done with dinner, thank you very much. ~~But it can't get on my corn or in my mashed potatoes. And the potatoes can't get on my corn or my steak. And the corn's not allowed to get mixed in with anything else.~~

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	napalmnacey 2007-05-01 04:43 pm UTC (link)
	I can't do that. Nope. It has to be brown for me otherwise I can't eat it. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	napalmnacey 2007-05-01 04:44 pm UTC (link)
	By the way? You totally sound like my Mum when she tells me how to cook steak LOL! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	edana_ni_emer 2007-05-01 06:03 pm UTC (link)
	At least I'm not as bad as a couple of friends of mine. Theirs is still cold in the middle. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	napalmnacey 2007-05-01 06:05 pm UTC (link)
	It's a compliment - my Mum is a tremendously good cook. I've never heard a bad word about her meals. And that - is gross. shudders (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	edana_ni_emer 2007-05-01 06:08 pm UTC (link)
	Well, thank you. :-) We've got another friend who won't eat red meat unless it's so well done it crunches when he bites into it. He also considers meat with a little soy sauce on it 'too spicy'. He may actually be allergic to his own tastebuds. I figure no matter how picky I get, I can't beat that. ;-p (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	napalmnacey 2007-05-01 06:32 pm UTC (link)
	That's crazy. I mean, both the soy sauce thing and the tastebud thing. The crunchy meat thing isn't so much but I prefer my meat not loaded with carcinogens. Yeah, I'm pretty picky too but that's special. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

edana_ni_emer
2007-05-01 07:01 pm UTC (link)

Tell me about it! You know that nacho cheez stuff? The stuff I won't even dignify with the label of 'cheese' 'cause I don't think there are actually any milk products in it that they sell with tortilla chips at really cheap snack bars? He rejects it because it's "too spicy" and "tastes like it's got jalapeño in it".

*eyeroll*

I could go on for days. But I won't, 'cause that would be boring. :-)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

napalmnacey, 2007-05-01 07:04 pm UTC

(no subject) -

edana_ni_emer, 2007-05-01 07:14 pm UTC

(no subject) -

napalmnacey, 2007-05-02 03:25 am UTC

	plazmah 2007-05-01 06:08 pm UTC (link)
	The easiest way to cook meat is to keep a meat thermomiter with you. I learned this the hard way when cooking pork chops for the first time last night. Woohoo trial and error! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	irised 2007-05-03 01:03 am UTC (link)
	My mum is vegetarian and she's known for her meatballs. Her technique? Put a lot of herbs and spices and stuff in until it stops smelling like meat. They're a hit XD (Reply to this)(Parent)

queencallipygos
2007-04-30 06:19 pm UTC (link)

I'm....not sure I agree, but I think it may just be a "your mileage may vary" kind of thing. I wouldn't call it a "requirement" -- I mean, I have vegetarian friends, and I don't expect pressed duck or burgers if I visit them; but on the other hand, one of the classiest things I ever read was an interview with Peter Gabriel when he started by telling the reporter he'd just made a full traditional English Christmas dinner for friends and family, with roast goose and sage stuffing and the whole nine yards, but then said he hadn't eaten any himself because he was vegetarian. The reporter asked why he hadn't just made a vegetarian meal, and Peter said, "no, see, I'm the vegetarian, I don't want to impose my beliefs on others, so I catered to everyone and just made extra veggie side dishes so we vegetarians could still eat a lot."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

vigilanterodent
2007-04-30 06:31 pm UTC (link)

Yeeeeah, but that's different, because he was making a meal for a holiday where meat-eating is a huge tradition. I mean, hell, I help my mother cook the Thanksgiving turkey, even though I won't be partaking. But at a normal meal?

Of course, the flip side is that I don't actually expect people to change their cooking for me. It's certainly appreciated, but I have no objections to just making do with side dishes.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

queencallipygos
2007-04-30 06:58 pm UTC (link)

That's a good point...eh, I don't expect people to change their cooking for me either, and I expect to adapt (if I had a severe allergy to something, I'd alert the cook a couple weeks in advance; but I don't, so I go planning to eat whatever they have), but I am touched and flattered if they try to accomodate me. I try to do the same -- I've had a lot of biggish dinner parties that a friend and I co-hosted, and we had a few vegetarians in our number, as well as one or two people who kept kosher, so we always went out of our way to do two main dishes -- one vegetarian friendly, one not -- and a number of side dishes, some vegan, some more vegetarian -- and do everything buffet-style so people could pick and choose according to whatever lingering food quirk they had. We tried to arrange things so no matter what dietary quirks were present, everyone could sample at least two dishes.

Although, in our case that was more about us showing off and really liking to cook than anything else (we had these dinners for the X-FILES season finale parties, and one time one of our friends walked in, looked at the huge ten-course Thai buffet we'd said, and turned to us in awe and said "you know, most other people would just serve beer and pizza.")

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	tangentialone 2007-05-02 04:22 am UTC (link)
	Okaaaaay. I don't think most non-vegans have a moral objection to eating stuff that isn't meat, though (or at least, I don't). "I can't eat that! Those poor asparagus! I think I'm going to be sick." (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Read comments) -