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linadarkstar ([info]linadarkstar) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-05-07 22:37:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*sporfle!*

It's exam time, so instead of studying, I'm doing this! Baby's first wank report, &c.
So Columbia U has an unusually dense core for undergrads, one of the main features being the mandatory lit class taken by all freshmen. It's called Literature Humanities, Lit Hum for short, and the standardized exam was last Friday.

Some teacher apparently made her kids a cheat sheet. They apparently spread it around. The administration is apparently now attempting to hunt down cheaters, and the online community over at CU's Bwog is apparently going mildly nuts.

Is it cheating if the teacher gave them the notes? Is it cheating to hand the notes to other people? What if people's answers correlate to the cheat sheet by accident? (Given that it had one quotation ID question wrong, this is not merely achieved by being studious.) And why is admin trying to punish students at all?

Wonk wonk wonk. Lots of freshmen claiming in capslock that they were NOT CHEATING YOU GUYS. Lots of people who've already taken Lit Hum laughing at them, because it has never been a difficult exam. Animal House is referenced. SEAS (engineering) and Barnard undergrads, who don't have to take Lit Hum, point and laugh and get offended. There's even a strain of completely random racewank.



Bravo Bwog: "I've never been so glad to have gotten IDs wrong. I, for one, expect to get an 'A' by default. Anything else would be patently unfair."


Irony: "crime and punishment is the quote that's catching everyone?"


Adam K: "Raskolnikov refused the water with his hand, and softly and brokenly, but distinctly said:
“It was I found teachers' notes to the Lit Hum final and robbed them.”
Ilya Petrovitch opened his mouth. People ran up on all sides.
Raskolnikov repeated his statement."


Stop snitchin: "First off, the concept of grading on the curve is dehumanizing. Fuck that. If I do well, why should my classmate do poorly as a result? If you know the material on the exam, you should get a good grade. If everyone knows it, everyone should get a good grade. Curves are for Republicans."


And my personal favorite, not the least because it might actually be serious:

Sakiv: "Hey first years:

Here's a chance for all of you to boost your grades.

Regardless of what grade you get on your lit hum final, email the instructor and say that you want to know if you were penalized for cheating in the exam, even though you are innocent. If you get a no, well, have a nice summer. If you get an improbable yes, insist that you are innocent and raise hell until you get your grade bumped. Most likely, knowing Columbia, you'll get a form letter that won't tell you if you were punished. Take that letter, send it to Bwog and start CC'ing Martinsen on emails to FoxNews and NY Sun telling them about a witch-hunt at Islamo-fascist, liberal, anarchist Columbia University of Havana- North Campus.

Make like Matt Sanchez and leverage your way up the administrative ladder until a hush-money A+ is on your transcript!"


This: "is totally cheating. just because it was easy to do or because you thought you'd get away with it doesn't change the fact that you willingly and gleefully took actions that would help yourself and hurt others in the class. this is no political statement on how curves or the core or exams suck--if it were, i imagine you would've shared the guide with everyone in your class--no, it was for pure personal gain. this is exactly the mentality that leads to ppl going to jail for 10+ yrs for insider trading."

No, no: "pure personal gain is what leads to real criminals NOT going to jail for insider trading but innocent people going to jail for being black at the wrong place at the wrong time. sorry to bring race into this."


Columba Junior: "And yes, guy who keeps posting the same stupid things over and over, the core IS world renowned, but only among other pedagogical tools. It suprises me, then, not at all, that a pedagogical tool like yourself should have heard of it between tokes from The Professor or whatever you call the crutch you use to prop up your meaningless existence.

Shit, dude. How many barnard girls have dumped YOUR bitter ass?"



Oh Bwog. :') I love it when tiny places just randomly explode in wank. ~200 comments and growing.



(Post a new comment)


[info]blue_penguin
2007-05-08 02:58 am UTC (link)
"Raskolnikov refused the water with his hand, and softly and brokenly, but distinctly said:
“It was I found teachers' notes to the Lit Hum final and robbed them.”
Ilya Petrovitch opened his mouth. People ran up on all sides.
Raskolnikov repeated his statement."


I LOL'd.

In other news, I've just decided not to transfer to Columbia next year after all.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]linadarkstar
2007-05-08 03:02 am UTC (link)
Transfers do get the shaft 'cause they have to take all the Core late, but otherwise CU seems to treat 'em pretty nice. This IS a pretty representative level of pretention, though.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]onaga
2007-05-08 03:09 am UTC (link)
First off, the concept of grading on the curve is dehumanizing.

WHAT

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]sisterelwood
2007-05-08 03:28 am UTC (link)
That's news to me.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]linadarkstar
2007-05-08 03:32 am UTC (link)
I know rite

I have a prof who's known for exam medians in the low 40s. DEHUMANIZATION PLZ

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ladysorka, 2007-05-08 06:10 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 03:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 05:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aposiopetic, 2007-05-09 12:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dandywolves, 2007-05-08 09:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]anonyrat, 2007-05-10 06:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eidolon_bird, 2007-05-08 10:15 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 08:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2007-05-09 02:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-05-10 08:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aposiopetic, 2007-05-09 12:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2007-05-08 03:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 11:37 pm UTC

[info]kadath
2007-05-08 03:42 am UTC (link)
I will happily give this one a 3-hour statistics lecture to correct the abysmal ignorance of normal distributions on display.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]visp
2007-05-08 07:57 am UTC (link)
I always found it a bit annoying. Even when I got better grades because of it, I felt that I hadn't earned it, it was just dumb luck that my classmates weren't that bright.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]grand_sealink, 2007-05-08 09:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2007-05-08 10:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cjk, 2007-05-08 11:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caito, 2007-05-08 04:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]antigone, 2007-05-08 07:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2007-05-09 01:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2007-05-09 01:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-05-10 08:28 pm UTC

[info]ladyvorkosigan
2007-05-08 12:35 pm UTC (link)
I kind of hate curves - maybe "dehumanizing" is overstating the case, but they certainly lead to vicious and cutthroat behavior from the students.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2007-05-08 09:07 pm UTC (link)
What's that? Grading on the base on how everyone did? So... if your classmates did poorly, you'll do better than if they did well?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 10:24 pm UTC

[info]uriel
2007-05-08 10:57 pm UTC (link)
We don't grade on a curve over here in Norway.
On one of the nursing exams in my class (college), the best result was a B. I was the only one who got one. For me grading on a curve seems strange. *shrugs*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sisterelwood
2007-05-08 03:27 am UTC (link)
Dear Lord- any professor at my undergrad who did that would have been fired on site. That is just monumentally stupid.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]linadarkstar
2007-05-08 04:33 am UTC (link)
The text of the cheat sheet just got posted. I know it's schadenfreude, but I can't help feel a little glee re: the people protesting that it was 'just a study guide'.

Funny thing about these over-scripted required classes, no actual professor wants to teach something when they get no freedom in the curriculum. Whoever's getting fired is probably some assistant prof... or maybe a grad student. Yow. I kind of hope not, 'cuz uh, way to toss your scholarship down the damn toilet.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mmanurere, 2007-05-08 05:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pet, 2007-05-08 02:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 10:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pet, 2007-05-09 12:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aposiopetic, 2007-05-09 12:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tunxeh, 2007-05-09 04:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sisterelwood, 2007-05-08 07:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 09:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ella_w, 2007-05-09 02:24 pm UTC

[info]some_dude
2007-05-08 03:51 am UTC (link)
1) I love Ivy League wank
2) I've never been so happy I decided not to go to Columbia.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]linadarkstar
2007-05-08 04:34 am UTC (link)
1) The pretention is most amusing.
2) But where else will you get Crime and Punishment puns in your cheating wank?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 06:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]so_long42, 2007-05-08 04:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2007-05-08 03:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-05-08 03:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]drhenryjekyll, 2007-05-09 02:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_penguin, 2007-05-08 05:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]drhenryjekyll, 2007-05-09 02:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]some_dude, 2007-05-08 09:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aposiopetic, 2007-05-09 12:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]some_dude, 2007-05-09 12:37 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 09:51 pm UTC

[info]crysiana
2007-05-08 04:27 am UTC (link)
Posted by talk is cheap:

let's start looking for suspects. I suggest:

1. the one-armed man

2. professor plum, in the library, with a knife

3. O.J. Simpson

4. My cheatin' heart


Amen, poster. Amen.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-05-08 05:24 am UTC (link)
My God. The flaming pretentiousness makes it feel like it's my college. (Required Greek/Latin lit course, giant test, Crime & Punishment references...) I...I feel so at home in this wank.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-05-08 05:32 am UTC (link)
Damn it, and my friend who goes to Columbia just signed off, too. I'm pretty sure she's none too fond of the Lit Hum class.

Hearing her bitch about their core classes always makes me snicker in perverted glee, because my college doesn't really have any. Also, their elevators break and their cafeteria is subpar!

(Seriously, Columbia seems like a nice place. And there's a Japanese grocery store right across the way that makes cheap, awesome bento. Colleges are just made of crazy in their DNA.)

~ Konitsu

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]prettypinkkitty, 2007-05-08 07:28 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 02:40 pm UTC

[info]bemysty
2007-05-08 06:48 am UTC (link)
I read "bwog" and my head immediately started subtituting chicken noises for all of the following text.

Can't say I feel like I've missed some actual content.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tunxeh, 2007-05-08 06:59 am UTC

[info]pet
2007-05-08 02:02 pm UTC (link)
Oh, my beloved Alma Mater. *sheds a nostalgic tear* Where smart people go, find out they're not as smart as they thought they were, and then work themselves into ulcers to make up for it.

Why the hell would anyone bother to cheat on a Lit Hum exam, though? They're very easy, relative to exams for all the other courses. Now, CC, on the other hand....ugh, all those tedious philosophers, I could never keep them straight.

(Reply to this)


[info]exdee
2007-05-08 06:11 pm UTC (link)
Oh, a core, poor babies. Nothing beats watching engineering students go, theology, wtf?
Though my face when I found out I had to take three theos was almost as good.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-05-08 10:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aposiopetic, 2007-05-09 12:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]drhenryjekyll, 2007-05-09 02:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2007-05-09 02:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-05-10 08:32 pm UTC

[info]taktuk
2007-05-08 06:47 pm UTC (link)
This post struck me as the wankiest I'd seen yet, really. (emphasis mine):

I posted the copy of the cheat sheet above that I got; and I have to say I definitely took advantage of it knowing well that I was cheating in every sense of the word; hey, my rationale was it was there and if I didn't use it I would get be at a disadvantage.

This is the age of entitlement, we steal things when the owners' aren't looking, we are the gimme culture, get used to it people. It's highly unethical and immoral but I am exactly the person that this society produces. Get used to it people. If I get caught oh well, I was trained to do it.


I blame finals for the fact that I needed to make a will save against citing the post MLA style.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]snacky, 2007-05-08 08:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]taktuk, 2007-05-08 08:23 pm UTC

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]snacky, 2007-05-08 08:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 08:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]snacky, 2007-05-08 09:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 10:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sisterelwood, 2007-05-09 01:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]onaga, 2007-05-09 02:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2007-05-08 09:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]linadarkstar, 2007-05-09 12:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-05-09 12:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]linadarkstar, 2007-05-09 01:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-05-09 02:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]linadarkstar, 2007-05-09 02:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mrbimble, 2007-05-09 12:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2007-05-09 01:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sisterelwood, 2007-05-09 01:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-05-09 08:59 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-05-08 09:44 pm UTC (link)
Holy moly. The Bwog is on here? Seriously? C'mon, why can't you leave us overstressed undergrads alone?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 09:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2007-05-08 10:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-08 11:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2007-05-09 11:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sisterelwood, 2007-05-09 01:35 am UTC
(no subject) - iwanttobeasleep, 2007-05-09 02:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]onaga, 2007-05-09 02:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-09 06:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-09 06:56 pm UTC

[info]vzg
2007-05-09 01:06 am UTC (link)
*tries to resist pointing and laughing in honor of her own university*

*FAILS*

(Reply to this)


[info]anonyrat
2007-05-10 06:32 am UTC (link)
Hey, this is totally off-topic like whoa, but are you the same Linadarkstar who did that massive retranslation of FF6 a while back? 'Cause that totally ruled.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]linadarkstar, 2007-05-10 07:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]anonyrat, 2007-05-10 06:36 pm UTC


 
   
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