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	rimrunner 2007-05-09 03:28 am UTC (link)
	I'm sorry. I can't stop thinking of this Onion article. (Reply to this)

arabel
2007-05-09 04:06 am UTC (link)

I'd never read any of "He's Just Not That Into You" before, and I have to say, IT CREEPS ME OUT. I mean, I understand that sometimes guys just aren't into you (as it were), and it's useless to pine away - but the whole "Men Chase And Women Should Be Passive Always This Is How All People Are Shut Up" is really getting on my nerves.

Haven't these people heard of sharing? You know, sometimes he calls me, sometimes I call him, none of us acts like creepy stalkers by tracking the other down across the length and breadth of our city, and we got there in the end? I mean, that's how I did it...

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	hristaesir 2007-05-09 04:40 am UTC (link)
	...Jesus holy god that is scary shit. O_O (Reply to this)(Parent)

	coffeebun 2007-05-09 05:34 am UTC (link)
	Guys don't mind messing up a friendship if it could lead to sex, whether it be a "(expletive) buddy" situation or a meaningful romance. Ooooh wow. Way to make yourself look good there, sir!! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

tangentialone
2007-05-09 06:11 am UTC (link)

If we're really excited about someone, we can't stop ourselves — we want more. If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.

Right, and whether you think the other person is attracted to you and would actually say yes--instead of rejecting you and making things all awkward and possibly messing up the friendship that way, for no gain--has nothing to do with it. NOTHING.

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	(Anonymous) 2007-05-09 09:39 am UTC (link)
	I know! The funny thing is, the whole book is based (iirc) on an episode of Sex and the City, in which Miranda got all obsessed with the philosophy. And then it ended up biting her in the ass because it didn't work. Also: "Haven't you seen porn?!!" As relationship advice. Apparently it is easier to write a book on dating than I hitherto suspected. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	dragonfangirl 2007-05-09 10:38 am UTC (link)
	Now you begin the life-changing experience of reading our book. And he's modest, too! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dragonfangirl 2007-05-09 10:44 am UTC (link)
	Oh man, I commented too fast -- I didn't get to this lovely tidbit! The reason why girls should never, ever make any moves in a relationship: Just because you like to lead doesn't mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason. Riight. (Reply to this)(Parent)

funwithrage
2007-05-09 01:26 pm UTC (link)

Also the assumption that all women want, or should want, marriage and kids and whatnot. There's a chapter--I read bits of it in Urban Outfitters, shut up--about how if he doesn't ask you to marry him, he's just not that into you.

I don't think it even makes allowances for stage of life. At the time I was reading it, if my then-boyfriend didn't ask me to marry him, it was because I was IN COLLEGE. Twenty-two years old! Not so much with the eternal commitment at twenty-two! Seriously! What the fuck?

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	dez_chan 2007-05-09 05:13 pm UTC (link)
	Or what about us poor bastards who've told our significant others our hard-line stance on marriage; namely that, if you get down on your knees with a jewelry box, I'm kicking you in the face and running in the other direction. My answer will eternally be "no." ...yeah, I don't think Mr. Sex and the City allowed for that particular POV. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

funwithrage, 2007-05-09 05:50 pm UTC

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narcissam, 2007-05-09 09:08 pm UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-05-14 03:48 am UTC

	sisterelwood 2007-05-09 02:12 pm UTC (link)
	Reading that bit of the book makes me weep and want to throw things at the same time. Damn. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	mael 2007-05-09 05:02 pm UTC (link)
	I've read that book, unfortunately. A well meaning, but absolutely real life-clueless, friend lent it to me when I was having relationship issues. Suffice to say, it didn't help one little bit, made me irrationally paranoid until, well, the scare tactics wore off and I realized it was all crazy talk. (Reply to this)(Parent)

jetamors
2007-05-09 05:09 pm UTC (link)

Dear Greg,

Okay, Greg. Listen to this one: I was at a conference for work and met a guy from another branch of my company. We hit it off immediately. He was just about to ask for my number, I swear, when the Big Blackout of 2003 happened. In the mayhem, I didn't get to give him my number. I think the Big Blackout of 2003 is a good enough excuse to call him, don't you think? It's only common courtesy for me to check up on him, right? If I don't call, he's probably going to be all sad thinking that I'm just not that into him.

Judy

Dear Judy Blackout,

The city blacked out. He didn't. You said you work for different branches of the same company. Certainly he wouldn't have to break a sweat to scroll through the company staff roster or interoffice e-mail listing to find you. And should he not be as resourceful as you are...I imagine that he has a mother, sister, or female friend that could show him how, if he was really interested.

P.S.: Shame on you for using an eastern seaboard disaster as an excuse to call a guy up.

Have faith. You made an impression. Leave it at that. If he likes you, he'll still remember you after the tsunami, flood, or Red Sox loss. If he doesn't, he's not worth your time. Know why? You are great. (Now, don't get cocky.)

This is... supposed to be funny, right? It's just someone taking on the role of a passive-aggressive Maddox for the lulz, right? Right?

Right?

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	snacky 2007-05-09 05:38 pm UTC (link)
	I think the biggest problem with that book is that it was intended to be humorous and someone took it seriously, and suddenly it was a self-help bestseller. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sunhawk 2007-05-09 05:42 am UTC (link)
	Man, this is like the wank version of "Girl Afraid"! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2007-05-09 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	I´ve been thinking of that song all the time I´ve been reading this, too. /electricwitch @ LJ (Reply to this)(Parent)

	melandry 2007-05-10 01:50 am UTC (link)
	OMG I'm not alone. I totally thought of that, too. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	cjk 2007-05-09 11:02 am UTC (link)
	I'll just mention Mr Darcy and shut up after that. ;) (Reply to this)

chaos_theory
2007-05-09 01:26 pm UTC (link)

Ah, love advice from 20 year olds. She must be like, totally steeped in years and years of mature relationships, you know, from really fighting for her relationships and making them work. She speaks from the depths of her vast wisdom and from the vantage point of experience. And not at, you know, all college romances where you know a boy is "into you" if he refrains from slipping rufies in your drink, doesn't give you the clap and calls you eventually after having drunken sex in the dorm shower.

...or was that just my college experience?

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	mochibuni 2007-05-09 08:05 pm UTC (link)
	She may have once been a sex therapist. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

chaos_theory, 2007-05-10 01:45 am UTC

	sisterelwood 2007-05-09 10:00 pm UTC (link)
	You and I are thinking on the same wavelength when it comes to that. I'm 22 and graduated from college and in law school and guess what? I still call home and talk to my 56 year old mother when I am in need serious advice on relationships. Nothing beats experience and I'm humble enough to know I have had practically none when compared to my mother. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	greenglass 2007-05-09 01:40 pm UTC (link)
	When did sexism become acceptable, if it's applied during the pursuit of relationships? "Men go like this: doo doo do doo! Women go like this: dee dee de dee!" I thought this line of thought was on its way out after the 60's. Guess I'm just too optimistic. (Reply to this)

	bluenakedlady 2007-05-09 03:01 pm UTC (link)
	She...er...has a point. It's a bit wonky and such, but if I squint and turn my head, I see what she means. I just think she would have improved her position to no end if she'd just stopped talking. It's a point, woman, not a stake! You don't have to hammer it in with a mallet! (Reply to this)

	oxydosic 2007-05-09 07:45 pm UTC (link)
	Owwwwww. lapsarianesque broke my brain. goes to heal self with manporn (Reply to this)

	_rukia 2007-05-10 09:58 pm UTC (link)
	For me, this is like the opposite of those wanks where everyone is an asshole. Both sides have a legitimate point, but they just keep posting and posting and posting long after it's become readily apparent that the other person is not going to agree with them and they should just let it go already. (Reply to this)

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