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Didi ([info]didi) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-05-14 13:05:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
On skate shoes and possible shenanigans
Another [info]customers_suck wank:

[info]tijay makes a lengthy post about a kid coming into the store wearing heelies. Kid, while skating, apparently trips over the steps on a nearby escalator and bangs his head.

Result? 911, kid half-dead, in coma (prolly and hopefully died on the way to the hospital, he bleed all over the escalator making 4 people clean up after him. Bitch. His mom is crying and yelling at everyone, escalator gets stopped. People complaint about elevators that are slow and that we need to fix our escalators.

Then we have team meeting, and at least three people confess that they told him and his mom to stop skating. Making our liability 0. At least now, we have banned these goddamn shoes.

That incident just made my day. I will remember it on the bright side for the rest of my life.


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand they're off. 324 comments and counting.

Edit: The wank, it hits stupid_free--many thanks to [info]hangingfire for the link.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]eiviiaru
2007-05-14 05:32 pm UTC (link)
I think [info]tijay forgot the part where all the right-thinking customers stood up and applauded the child's head injury, then gave the clerks a medal for the immense personal sacrifice of having to be in the vicinity of a child. I mean, if you're going to post your daydreams to c_s as if they actually happened, why edit out the best parts?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2007-05-14 05:39 pm UTC (link)
And then they all went out for ice cream.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]eiviiaru
2007-05-14 05:43 pm UTC (link)
And [info]tijay found five dollars!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]amxjm
2007-05-14 05:56 pm UTC (link)
Only five? That's not the way I heard it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2007-05-15 07:43 am UTC (link)
Yeah, I heard Jesus came down from Heaven, gave him $100 and told him to buy himself some new PS3 games.

Lucan

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]doomsday
2007-05-14 05:39 pm UTC (link)
Don't forget the part where the mother got into a heated debate with [info]tijay about wheelies and how the child deserved it and [info]tijay pwned her with so much pure logic that the mother said, "You're completely right," and walked away in defeat, then wished death upon the little boy herself.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2007-05-14 05:40 pm UTC (link)
Smothered him with a pillow!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]puipui
2007-05-14 05:47 pm UTC (link)
A pillow full of ice cream!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]globalfruitbat
2007-05-14 08:44 pm UTC (link)
A pillow full of ice cream with glass in it!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kadath
2007-05-14 05:43 pm UTC (link)
Aww, you beat me to it.

I think s/he should have added unicorns. Sparkly unicorns, smelling of cotton candy and violets, that shat gumdrops, and the kid couldn't have any 'cause he was dying.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]puipui
2007-05-14 05:48 pm UTC (link)
And then the unicorn gored the kid with its horn, and everybody cheered!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]cactuar_tamer
2007-05-14 05:57 pm UTC (link)
Was that before or after the bisexual girl-gamer English majors showed up?

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[info]dechant
2007-05-14 09:58 pm UTC (link)
Are you kidding? We saw the whole thing. Brought popcorn, even.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kadath
2007-05-14 06:04 pm UTC (link)
Our story is so much better!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]harrylovesron
2007-05-14 07:08 pm UTC (link)
And the gumpdrops said unicorns shat choked another nearby child, causing the whole facility to simply explode in glee!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tehrin
2007-05-14 07:12 pm UTC (link)
Visual referenece!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]puipui
2007-05-14 08:44 pm UTC (link)
I was hoping you'd stop by with that icon. :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mindset
2007-05-14 06:54 pm UTC (link)
Gratuitous YTMND link

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Totally OT
[info]hyaenid
2007-05-14 11:04 pm UTC (link)
Where is that icon from?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Totally OT
[info]mindset
2007-05-14 11:08 pm UTC (link)
I made it, from this YTMND, which in turn is a clip from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


verthandi
2007-05-15 02:24 am UTC (link)
I laugh like a hyena every time I see that icon/YTMND. I think it's the :( at the end.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tofuknight
2007-05-15 05:16 pm UTC (link)
It's totally the :( at the end.

*is also laughing like a hyena*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]caffeine_fairy
2007-05-14 08:12 pm UTC (link)
Can I have a pony?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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