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Altoids Addict ([info]altoidsaddict) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-05-15 23:44:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
With four eyes, we can wank harder.
[info]aint2nuts has a daughter about 9 years old who always forgets her glasses, costing her mother money. She's bought the kid nice frames she likes, she's tried to work it out with the teacher, and... nothing. So she asks [info]thequestionclub for advice. It mostly works out okay.

Randomly, [info]connusdavance snits that it's all [info]aint2nuts's fault for sending the daughter to school in the first place. [info]aint2nuts figures if [info]connusdavance is going to be so adamant about [info]aint2nuts homeschooling her daughter, why not Paypal her so she can afford it? But [info]connusdavance seems to have missed the point. Which is then ignored in favor of placing the blame solely on [info]ain2nuts not being nice, so obviously [info]aint2nuts's daughter acts out because her daughter hates her. Pure, unadulterated hate. Otherwise, kids don't lie. Ever. They are innocent, holy creatures. Trufax. Myself, I think [info]connusdavance has been reading way too much William Blake and will soon be jacked by a kindergardener outside the Toys 'R' Us.

Edited for clarity.

Oh, and [info]aint2nuts has now made a separate post bringing the mockity mock.


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[info]barankhy
2007-05-16 10:39 pm UTC (link)
I'm already gettin' of yer lawn, ma'am!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2007-05-16 10:54 pm UTC (link)
Damn kids, stomping all over my yard. You're gonna owe me new plants, mister!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2007-05-16 10:58 pm UTC (link)
Why must you oppress me? I FEEL with the plants! I AM the plants!

That's totally not my needle, nope!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2007-05-16 11:02 pm UTC (link)
*oppresses with the mighty skillet of doom* Plants are smarter than you.

Wait until I tell your parents, you cretin! You'll be sorry then!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2007-05-16 11:14 pm UTC (link)
*is opressed* Plants don't have internet; they're smarter by default ;)

Wait till I tell the nursing home you're outside again!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2007-05-16 11:18 pm UTC (link)
</s>Then you're dumber than the plant, since you're online.

You'll be waiting a while. I'm not that old. I got enough time to drive you batty.</s>

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2007-05-16 11:19 pm UTC (link)
Yes, that'd be what I tried to insinuate *goes to hug a tree or something*.

*offers beer, boobies and pot of piece*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2007-05-16 11:24 pm UTC (link)
*pats* It's okay honey. You just failed. Maybe next time.

I'll take the pie damn, that doesn't say pie. You got me all excited over PIE, and didn't even offer it. *grumbles*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2007-05-16 11:26 pm UTC (link)
*goes to cry*

Damnit, I should not drink beer before typing. Damn you, English, you and your homophones!
Because that was supposed to be "peace", of course *headdesks*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2007-05-16 11:30 pm UTC (link)
*mocks you quietly*

It's all good. I figured that...but the word pie was involved (in my mind). Pie. Food of the gods, damn it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2007-05-16 11:31 pm UTC (link)
*walrusfaces and single-emo-tears liek whoa*

Well, I can still offer you e-pie. German e-pie.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2007-05-16 11:35 pm UTC (link)
*snickers loudly at your emoness*

PIE! Gimme pie. Lots of pie.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2007-05-16 11:47 pm UTC (link)
craaaaaawling in mah skiiiiiiin...

TEARS OF DESPAIR!!!!


...


Pie?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2007-05-16 11:53 pm UTC (link)
If it's crawling in your skin, might want to get O'Connell to pick it out with that knife.

*gasp* You couldn't even offer me apple? What kind of person are you? You're a robot, aren't you? You have some nefarious plot to try and take over the world with awful cherry pie. Everyone knows apple's the only one that matters. Honestly.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2007-05-16 11:56 pm UTC (link)
I'm just that much of a ZOMGnonconformist *nods non-mainstream-ly*

Besides, American pie is awful, period.
Now, Apfelstrudel, that's something different entirely.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2007-05-16 11:59 pm UTC (link)
That's fine. I'll keep O'Connell. You can have his good ole buddy Benny. A conformist would never think that dude was adorable. Ever.

*gasp* Don't go insulting American pie. Damn it, McDonald's has the best pie, like ever. Hmph!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2007-05-17 12:02 am UTC (link)
As someone who has no idea who you're talking about... er, okay ;) ?

*insults American pie some more*
*makes altar for Germknödel*

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[info]evilsqueakers
2007-05-17 12:06 am UTC (link)
Never seen The Mummy?

*ignores you*
*eats good, American, yummy pie*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2007-05-17 12:08 am UTC (link)
Oooooh *insert comic-lightbulb-above-my-head-here*
Okay, now I get it. I'll take Ardeth Bey over any of 'em, plz.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2007-05-17 12:15 am UTC (link)
It's okay, we've already determined you're not the fastest tortoise in the race.

Meh, I'll keep O'Connell. He liked to shoot things. Guns...mmhmm.

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[info]barankhy
2007-05-17 12:21 am UTC (link)
I'm not a tortoise! I'm a porcupine!

Well, I like to forego the phallic symbols and go straight to the phallus.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2007-05-17 01:12 am UTC (link)
Porcupines don't race, stupid. Only tortoises and hares do. Duh.

Oh, no. It's just all oooh and shiny when people shoot the guns at bad guys. What can I say? I'm easily amused.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


pastri_archy
2007-05-17 07:58 pm UTC (link)
Mmm. Gunslinging Brendan Frasier.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2007-05-17 08:54 pm UTC (link)
Everyone should have their own, damn it. I'd pay an arm and a leg for it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


pastri_archy
2007-05-17 09:43 pm UTC (link)
Why? I want to keep all my limbs so I can wrap them around him! :o)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2007-05-17 10:05 pm UTC

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