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velvet_mace ([info]velvet_mace) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-05-20 17:32:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Wank? On c_s? Who would have thought???
It's true, finding wank on [info]customers_suck is a bit like finding gum on the bottom of a desk, but still this one has a certain, special je ne sais quoi. Namely it's [info]thehappyemo, a telemarketer, who is angry that the people she calls, at home, on their unlisted lines, have the gall to be rude to her. I mean, where do they get off getting pissed at someone who calls them, unasked, in order to sell them something.

Obviously, it's because she interrupted a masturbation session to Bill O'Reiley.

Not that it matters because she's gonna make her pitch to you "even if you tell me your husband came back from Iraq legless, armless and with his brain re-wired by space aliens to become a super new quantum level of gay unbeknownst to man that can only be measured in units only known as "Lyndes"...with super-cancer and your just lost your house and your job and your crack smoking three year old with a rageaholic sixteen year old bisexual girlfriend steals your checks and forges them and the voices in your head tell you that Carson Daly is the AntiChrist".

So stop getting mad already!

And learn to speak English! Because, sheesh, she's tired of you foreigners wasting her time.

Most people suggest that she get a new job.

Others look down on her insistance that people speak English with varying results.

But lo, up comes a mighty defender, in the form of [info]serenitydeath who sees no problem with the OP just doing her job and putting down non-English "customers" who make her job harder:

Just lay off on her. I do agree, even if English is not the official language of the States, people do need to learn some English to function in this country.

And finally, because you can't have wank without Godwin's Law, [info]myfirstkitchen happily supplies it.

EDIT: Naturally, the competition [info]stupid_free has a lot to say about it.



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[info]soupspooks
2007-05-21 01:04 am UTC (link)
It... I... what?!

I think you mean 'je ne sais quoi'

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]velvet_mace, 2007-05-21 01:15 am UTC

[info]wrongly_amused
2007-05-21 01:11 am UTC (link)
So if I get a job, and it's part of my job description to kidnap your dog and sell it to vivisectionists, that would be something you'd defend? It's okay if it's part of the job description?

I - what? How is that even comparable to telemarketing? Seriously, when are we going to update [info]jurisprudence with a law about shitty analogy skills? Because half of these wanks are filled with fail for that very reason.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]scootermcgaffin, 2007-05-22 12:32 am UTC

[info]keri
2007-05-21 01:14 am UTC (link)
LOL. I love [info]serenitydeath's orders for us to laugh. It's bizarre.


From the "just doing her job" link:

laugh if only had a dog. hahaha. 1233 anywhere street, anywhere, Usa. Heard the people next door have a few dogs.

and

laugh. No, I won't explain anything. I didn't have anything to do with the taking of the dog so not my problem. I just mentioned a location. What people do with the information is up to them.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2007-05-21 02:36 am UTC

[info]demonbean
2007-05-21 01:24 am UTC (link)
Paying money to have your number be unlisted is useless. The flow of information in the world ultimately means that there are no truly unlisted numbers. Nothing is secret, not even the fact that you fuck your neighbor's barely legal son nightly. Yeah, you didn't hang up and I heard you talking to him.

Okay, the second bit ... ? Was just idiotic of them. But the first bit ... ? Is idiotic of YOU. When you're calling an unlisted number, you had better expect them to be pissed.

(Reply to this)


[info]barankhy
2007-05-21 01:32 am UTC (link)
Please tell me s/h/it's a troll. Pretty please?

Because if not, somebody needs to whack them with syllabic consonants. Repeatedly.

(Reply to this)

My boyfriend saw it earlier.
[info]miraba
2007-05-21 01:48 am UTC (link)
It hit stupid_free. Link.

(Reply to this)


[info]rekall
2007-05-21 02:27 am UTC (link)
God forbid people speak in their preferred language in their own home.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nymeria, 2007-05-21 02:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2007-05-21 02:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rekall, 2007-05-21 03:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]prettypinkkitty, 2007-05-21 03:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]silrana, 2007-05-21 10:57 am UTC

[info]sesana
2007-05-21 02:38 am UTC (link)
My uncle has been known to recite Irish poetry to telemarketers.

I think I'd get along with him very well, indeed.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]pyratejenni, 2007-05-21 02:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]irised, 2007-05-21 10:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]solar_type_star, 2007-05-21 02:01 pm UTC

[info]frequentmouse
2007-05-21 02:59 am UTC (link)
Wait

I thought C_S had banned phone solicitation rants?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-05-21 05:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2007-05-21 09:07 pm UTC

[info]blue_penguin
2007-05-21 03:00 am UTC (link)
Having had a similar job once (what, I needed the money), all I have to say is... she wasn't expecting anyone to be rude to her? How do you take a job like that and not expect 99% of the people you call to bitch at you and then hang up?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]onaga, 2007-05-21 03:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thexphial, 2007-05-21 05:11 am UTC

[info]mochibuni
2007-05-21 03:02 am UTC (link)
Do you, by any chance, happen to smell toast?

So what if I do? :( :( :( :( :( :(

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]digigirl132, 2007-05-22 02:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]feloniousfeline, 2007-05-22 05:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2007-05-22 03:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]c, 2007-05-23 05:10 pm UTC

verthandi
2007-05-21 03:07 am UTC (link)
If you don't have any fucking vowels in your name I already know I'm wasting my time.

Won't s/he/it be in for a surprise when s/he/it realizes that some people with hard-to-pronounce names have been in this country for generations and can speak excellent English. Without an accent, even!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2007-05-21 03:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-05-21 06:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melisus, 2007-05-21 04:05 pm UTC

[info]serai
2007-05-21 03:28 am UTC (link)
*shrug*

My answering machine screens every call I get, so I never have to deal with those leeches.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]urpletastic, 2007-05-23 06:44 am UTC

[info]lady7jane
2007-05-21 04:00 am UTC (link)
Someone should introduce thehappyemo to themercymachine. I think it could be beautiful.

(Reply to this)


[info]cathowl
2007-05-21 04:25 am UTC (link)
And this is why, the moment I figure out someone's a telemarketer, I say "I don't speak to telemarketers" and hang up. Because you usually can't tell right off which ones are the raging assholes.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hristaesir, 2007-05-21 05:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cathowl, 2007-05-21 06:02 am UTC

[info]rachel_pi
2007-05-21 06:19 am UTC (link)
Read a fucking history book, back when immigration was in full force and all those happy people came to America via Ellis Island they wanted to be American and wanted to assimilate.

...

WOW.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]frenzy, 2007-05-21 06:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-05-21 06:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oar, 2007-05-21 04:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2007-05-21 10:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marumae, 2007-05-22 12:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-05-21 11:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-05-21 10:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2007-05-22 03:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2007-05-23 02:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-05-23 02:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2007-05-22 02:55 am UTC

ravenousbunny
2007-05-21 08:03 am UTC (link)
I already went off on stupid_free, but I'll come here so I can call him a douche again.

That's one thing I can say about my Dad. He was good at freakin' out the telemarketers. For those who read my stupid_free comment, skip this, I told this story once, heh. He was drunk when he answered the phone one night and the telemarketer asked for him. He simply said, "Oh, sorry, he died. This is his friend Pierre." I don't remember exactly what was said, but Dad went into gruesome detail about his own "death" and the funeral. At least they never called again. I wasn't sure if I should have been horrified or not.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sarahkjrsten, 2007-05-21 10:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-05-21 10:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]melisus, 2007-05-21 04:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]digigirl132, 2007-05-22 02:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amymccabe, 2007-05-22 11:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2007-05-22 03:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amymccabe, 2007-05-22 11:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]icedark_elf, 2007-05-24 03:24 pm UTC

[info]amymccabe
2007-05-21 11:08 am UTC (link)
I always know that I'm dealing with a telemarketer because they start the call by asking for an adult or, sometimes, my mommy. (Aw...can you get your mommy sweetie? Can you do that?)

Curse the telemarketers and curse my childish sounding voice! I'm 27, not 7!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ahiru, 2007-05-21 01:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2007-05-21 01:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2007-05-21 10:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]influencethis, 2007-05-22 04:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amymccabe, 2007-05-22 11:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2007-05-22 07:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amymccabe, 2007-05-22 12:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]heddychaa, 2007-05-21 08:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amymccabe, 2007-05-22 12:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2007-05-21 09:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2007-05-21 10:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amymccabe, 2007-05-22 12:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2007-05-22 03:29 pm UTC

dracothelizard
2007-05-21 11:56 am UTC (link)
Dude, from now on I am so going to speak my bad French at telemarketers!

And yeah, if you're a telemarketer, people are going to be rude. It's a fact.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]belafarinrod, 2007-05-21 08:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2007-05-23 02:33 am UTC

[info]radiotrash
2007-05-21 12:23 pm UTC (link)
Somehow this reminds me when I got a call and an automated voice told me to please wait on the line so a representative could talk to me. Cue music and then more oh sorry but all our representatives are busy, please keep holding.

So I hung up. Weirdest telemarketer call ever.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-05-21 01:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-05-21 05:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amymccabe, 2007-05-22 12:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ghostmaster, 2007-05-21 06:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]anonyrat, 2007-05-22 07:20 pm UTC
OT
[info]ladyrogue
2007-05-21 01:40 pm UTC (link)
This is highly important! What movie/show did myfirstkitchen's icon come from?! Because David Tennant in glasses = OMG EXPLODE <3

(Reply to this)


[info]cycnus
2007-05-21 04:08 pm UTC (link)
What this wank has taught me is that I can recite bits of Old and Middle English poetry to telemarketers and they can't complain because it's in English! I knew that History of the English Language class had to be good for something.

(Reply to this)


[info]frequentmouse
2007-05-21 06:23 pm UTC (link)
Just to contribute a boring personal anecdote for old times sake, right after the Do Not Call list went into effect, I was made paranoid by a flurry of hang-up calls. Turns out that whomever programmed the autodialer with DNC numbers had the calls terminated after the recipient picked up, rather than skipping blocked numbers before they were dialed.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - iwanttobeasleep, 2007-05-22 01:12 pm UTC

[info]karmyn75
2007-05-21 06:34 pm UTC (link)
I've never done telemarketing, but I have done phone surveys, which is a slight step up in that they don't have to follow the DNC rules. If people were really rude to us, we would laugh about it after we finished with them. It was a way to cope with the job. There were occasional weirdos who got a little perverted, but those were fun.
I hated that job, but I did learn one thing. Nobody ever wants to take the surveys, but they still believe the numbers in the polls.

(Reply to this)

personal anecdote time!
[info]soy_latte
2007-05-21 07:23 pm UTC (link)
On the rare chance that I answer the phone for a strange number and it's a telemarketer, I've been known to tell them to hold on and I'll put the phone up to the tv or stereo and leave it there until they hang up on me.

(Reply to this)



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