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velvet_mace ([info]velvet_mace) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-05-20 17:32:00


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Wank? On c_s? Who would have thought???
It's true, finding wank on [info]customers_suck is a bit like finding gum on the bottom of a desk, but still this one has a certain, special je ne sais quoi. Namely it's [info]thehappyemo, a telemarketer, who is angry that the people she calls, at home, on their unlisted lines, have the gall to be rude to her. I mean, where do they get off getting pissed at someone who calls them, unasked, in order to sell them something.

Obviously, it's because she interrupted a masturbation session to Bill O'Reiley.

Not that it matters because she's gonna make her pitch to you "even if you tell me your husband came back from Iraq legless, armless and with his brain re-wired by space aliens to become a super new quantum level of gay unbeknownst to man that can only be measured in units only known as "Lyndes"...with super-cancer and your just lost your house and your job and your crack smoking three year old with a rageaholic sixteen year old bisexual girlfriend steals your checks and forges them and the voices in your head tell you that Carson Daly is the AntiChrist".

So stop getting mad already!

And learn to speak English! Because, sheesh, she's tired of you foreigners wasting her time.

Most people suggest that she get a new job.

Others look down on her insistance that people speak English with varying results.

But lo, up comes a mighty defender, in the form of [info]serenitydeath who sees no problem with the OP just doing her job and putting down non-English "customers" who make her job harder:

Just lay off on her. I do agree, even if English is not the official language of the States, people do need to learn some English to function in this country.

And finally, because you can't have wank without Godwin's Law, [info]myfirstkitchen happily supplies it.

EDIT: Naturally, the competition [info]stupid_free has a lot to say about it.



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[info]dragonfangirl
2007-05-21 09:59 pm UTC (link)
Paying money to have your number be unlisted is useless.

On the contrary. Paying money to keep our number unlisted spared us decades of prank or threatening calls from the teenage punks my dad taught in high school. The fact that it also blocked most telemarketers was just an added bonus.

Another kind of funny thing is that my mother's response to telemarketers was always "I don't buy things over the phone. Send me a catalogue. Goodbye." And nobody ever sent the catalog. I guess the companies weren't really interested in selling to her.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]jrs1980
2007-05-21 11:25 pm UTC (link)
The guy who runs detention at my alma mater is listed right after us in the phone book, as the first four letters of our last names match. We got his prank calls all the time.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]anonyrat
2007-05-22 07:26 pm UTC (link)
Story time!

There's a guy in my hometown who has the exact same name as my father, down to his middle initial. He has bad debts, so he gave the bank OUR phone number instead. For months we were getting bizarre, threatening phone calls about mysterious amounts of money we owed the bank, until eventually the guy got arrested or something and everything was sorted out.

Later on, we recieved a phone call asking for my dad. I gave him the phone.

Dad: Yes?
Caller: I'm so sorry to hear about your wife.
Dad: ...what?
Caller: Oh, you haven't HEARD?

My mom had gone to the store and hadn't come back yet, so we all begin quietly freaking out. The caller goes on to describe how my mom had finally succumbed to the cancer. This tips us off that maybe the caller isn't talking about Mom after all, so we inform him that he has the right name, but the wrong number. After a few moments of utter confusion, the caller freaks out, apologizes, and hangs up.

We still occasionally get that guy's college friends calling us. My dad usually tries to see how long he can pretend to be their long-lost friend. He once got invited out for drinks before he was forced to admit the charade.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]catslash
2007-05-21 11:45 pm UTC (link)
God, I love having a cell phone as my home phone. No telemarketers!

I firmly ignore the mysterious rumors I have heard that this could change.

(Reply to this)


[info]scootermcgaffin
2007-05-22 12:37 am UTC (link)
So...am I the really only one that just politely says "no, thank you" and then hang up?

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[info]funwithrage
2007-05-22 12:56 am UTC (link)
I generally do. I don't wait for a response or anything, but.

The exception was at work, where a lady from Verizon called and asked to speak to "someone in charge." I asked if she was trying to sell anything; she said she couldn't tell me. Yeaaah. Not so much.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]wrongly_amused
2007-05-22 03:26 am UTC (link)
Nah, I do too. I'm too lazy and uncreative to get worked up over a telemarketer.

Then again, we very rarely get telemarketer calls. Maybe they realized just how useless it was to call a house where several of the regularly available members of the home are under 18. ;-)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mistal
2007-05-22 06:33 am UTC (link)
No, we do too.

And really, I dont get why that's harder than ranting at them for five minutes on how evil they are. 'No, thank you' seems so much faster.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]limyaael
2007-05-22 03:25 pm UTC (link)
My family used to. Then they started getting calls at 5:30 in the morning, 6:30 in the morning, 7:30 in the morning, etc., and again starting at night from 9:00, about every ten minutes. Now they just don't bother picking up the phone if the number shows up as "unknown."

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]oxydosic
2007-05-22 04:04 pm UTC (link)
Those voices are correct. Carson Daly is indeed Satan.

(Reply to this)


[info]napalmnacey
2007-05-23 02:13 pm UTC (link)
How my brother deals with telemarketers:

TM: Hello. Who is your internet provider?

B: My mother.

TM: What?

B: My mother. You see, we put Mum on a bike hooked up to the computer, you see, and it makes the tubes work. How much does it cost? Nothing!

It was special fun that one time when he interrupted the conversation by telling Mum to 'Get back in your cage!'. Was sooo funny! :D

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