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velvet_mace ([info]velvet_mace) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-05-20 17:32:00


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Wank? On c_s? Who would have thought???
It's true, finding wank on [info]customers_suck is a bit like finding gum on the bottom of a desk, but still this one has a certain, special je ne sais quoi. Namely it's [info]thehappyemo, a telemarketer, who is angry that the people she calls, at home, on their unlisted lines, have the gall to be rude to her. I mean, where do they get off getting pissed at someone who calls them, unasked, in order to sell them something.

Obviously, it's because she interrupted a masturbation session to Bill O'Reiley.

Not that it matters because she's gonna make her pitch to you "even if you tell me your husband came back from Iraq legless, armless and with his brain re-wired by space aliens to become a super new quantum level of gay unbeknownst to man that can only be measured in units only known as "Lyndes"...with super-cancer and your just lost your house and your job and your crack smoking three year old with a rageaholic sixteen year old bisexual girlfriend steals your checks and forges them and the voices in your head tell you that Carson Daly is the AntiChrist".

So stop getting mad already!

And learn to speak English! Because, sheesh, she's tired of you foreigners wasting her time.

Most people suggest that she get a new job.

Others look down on her insistance that people speak English with varying results.

But lo, up comes a mighty defender, in the form of [info]serenitydeath who sees no problem with the OP just doing her job and putting down non-English "customers" who make her job harder:

Just lay off on her. I do agree, even if English is not the official language of the States, people do need to learn some English to function in this country.

And finally, because you can't have wank without Godwin's Law, [info]myfirstkitchen happily supplies it.

EDIT: Naturally, the competition [info]stupid_free has a lot to say about it.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


ravenousbunny
2007-05-21 08:03 am UTC (link)
I already went off on stupid_free, but I'll come here so I can call him a douche again.

That's one thing I can say about my Dad. He was good at freakin' out the telemarketers. For those who read my stupid_free comment, skip this, I told this story once, heh. He was drunk when he answered the phone one night and the telemarketer asked for him. He simply said, "Oh, sorry, he died. This is his friend Pierre." I don't remember exactly what was said, but Dad went into gruesome detail about his own "death" and the funeral. At least they never called again. I wasn't sure if I should have been horrified or not.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]sarahkjrsten
2007-05-21 10:19 am UTC (link)
I've done that. They called for my roommate and I said, "Oh, I'm sorry. She died."

There was an awkward pause, then the telemarketer said, "I'm sorry" *click*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]dragonfangirl
2007-05-21 10:30 am UTC (link)
As of last Thursday, my sister can now do this!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]melisus
2007-05-21 04:08 pm UTC (link)
Some telemarketer called for my dad once. I said he was unavailible since he wasn't home. They asked if I was his wife. When I replied that I wasn't, instead of assuming I might be... oh... I dunno... a DAUGHTHER, there was an awkward pause. The telemarketer then excused themself, apologized and hung up on ME.

I'm pretty sure they thought I was a mistress.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]digigirl132
2007-05-22 02:46 am UTC (link)
This thread is now about telemarketer stories.

About four months ago, my roomate (female) and I (also female) got a phone call on hour house phone. That line is really only for the internet, since we both have cell-phones, so the only calls we ever get on it are telemarketers. For some reason, though, my roomate still answers it.

On the other end was this lady calling for a conservative grassroots organization that wanted to make stricter rules about movie ratings. The lady asked for "the lady of the house" and, without thinking, my roomate said, "Which one? There's two of us."

The lady took that statement entirely the wrong way, and she rushed through her spiel and basically said, "don't call us, we'll call you." It amused me to no end.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]amymccabe
2007-05-22 11:51 am UTC (link)
LMAO!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tangentialone
2007-05-22 03:03 am UTC (link)
That is awesome.

I mean I am in awe.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]amymccabe
2007-05-22 11:57 am UTC (link)
I kept getting calls about consolidating my loans after I graduated from college (and after I consolidated my loans). Some were presistant, some I felt were scams (they immediately asked for financial info and such). After a while I began toying with them. I'd tell them I died; I was abducted by aliens; calls asking for the head of the house were given to the cat; I'd ask them for their financial information. If they asked for my Mommy, I'd find ways of playing with that too (I would say okay and my most childish voice and leave the phone there for 20 minutes...some would still be on!

I once had a call at my mother's house (I was living there while getting my masters) were the lady asked for an adult. I was 25 but shrugged it off and gave the phone to my mother (who has a similar sounding voice) and the lady yelled at her! "No, I said I wanted to speak to an adult!" She hung up on her. Blah, telemarketers.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]icedark_elf
2007-05-24 03:24 pm UTC (link)
My mom used to do the opposite years ago. They'd call and ask for "Ms." blahblahblah, and she'd give me the phone.

Given, at the time, I was 14, I had a great deal of fun, and when they'd ask me to agree to stuff, I'd go "Well, I'm 14, so I'm not sure if it's legal"

They'd get so flustered.

Of course, my mom and I sound so much alike that even my dad will mistake us for each other on the phone.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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