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velvet_mace ([info]velvet_mace) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-05-20 17:32:00


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Wank? On c_s? Who would have thought???
It's true, finding wank on [info]customers_suck is a bit like finding gum on the bottom of a desk, but still this one has a certain, special je ne sais quoi. Namely it's [info]thehappyemo, a telemarketer, who is angry that the people she calls, at home, on their unlisted lines, have the gall to be rude to her. I mean, where do they get off getting pissed at someone who calls them, unasked, in order to sell them something.

Obviously, it's because she interrupted a masturbation session to Bill O'Reiley.

Not that it matters because she's gonna make her pitch to you "even if you tell me your husband came back from Iraq legless, armless and with his brain re-wired by space aliens to become a super new quantum level of gay unbeknownst to man that can only be measured in units only known as "Lyndes"...with super-cancer and your just lost your house and your job and your crack smoking three year old with a rageaholic sixteen year old bisexual girlfriend steals your checks and forges them and the voices in your head tell you that Carson Daly is the AntiChrist".

So stop getting mad already!

And learn to speak English! Because, sheesh, she's tired of you foreigners wasting her time.

Most people suggest that she get a new job.

Others look down on her insistance that people speak English with varying results.

But lo, up comes a mighty defender, in the form of [info]serenitydeath who sees no problem with the OP just doing her job and putting down non-English "customers" who make her job harder:

Just lay off on her. I do agree, even if English is not the official language of the States, people do need to learn some English to function in this country.

And finally, because you can't have wank without Godwin's Law, [info]myfirstkitchen happily supplies it.

EDIT: Naturally, the competition [info]stupid_free has a lot to say about it.


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[info]amymccabe
2007-05-22 11:57 am UTC (link)
I kept getting calls about consolidating my loans after I graduated from college (and after I consolidated my loans). Some were presistant, some I felt were scams (they immediately asked for financial info and such). After a while I began toying with them. I'd tell them I died; I was abducted by aliens; calls asking for the head of the house were given to the cat; I'd ask them for their financial information. If they asked for my Mommy, I'd find ways of playing with that too (I would say okay and my most childish voice and leave the phone there for 20 minutes...some would still be on!

I once had a call at my mother's house (I was living there while getting my masters) were the lady asked for an adult. I was 25 but shrugged it off and gave the phone to my mother (who has a similar sounding voice) and the lady yelled at her! "No, I said I wanted to speak to an adult!" She hung up on her. Blah, telemarketers.

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[info]icedark_elf
2007-05-24 03:24 pm UTC (link)
My mom used to do the opposite years ago. They'd call and ask for "Ms." blahblahblah, and she'd give me the phone.

Given, at the time, I was 14, I had a great deal of fun, and when they'd ask me to agree to stuff, I'd go "Well, I'm 14, so I'm not sure if it's legal"

They'd get so flustered.

Of course, my mom and I sound so much alike that even my dad will mistake us for each other on the phone.

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