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Why is this too solid flesh not melting? ([info]apoplexia) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-05-22 15:34:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
A little amuse bouche before dinner.
Over on Indiana Auditions, someone asks the seemingly harmless question:

How do you recite Shakespeare?

Various people weigh in with their experiences and helpful suggestions, and all goes well until... the vexed question of meter comes up:

Mr Antrobus suggests throwing out the meter to start with.

emily counters that "most of it is written in iambic pentameter for a reason".

Daniel begs to differ, "Au contraire, Emily."

emily's not about to take this lying down, since, "i spent 6 months studying with the rsc in stratford. i know what i'm talking about." (Yes, but do you know what the shift key is for, dear.)

tcrick's there to back her up, gently suggesting that, "whenever I see a passage that is prefaced by a trite romance language phrase I am immediately skeptical of any ensuing discourse as pretentious, patronizing pontification by an ill-informed or ignorant writer." (Love the alliteration!)

The OP tries to bring balance to the force peace,
pleading, "Please don't fight. It's just theatre, fer cripes!" (Stop spoiling our fun!)

And Daniel retreats faster than a Frenchman.

I realise that this doesn't have as much TMI as your usual otf post, so let me mention in passing this odd pain I've had in my side for the last week and a half. I think it might be pancreatitis.


(Post a new comment)


[info]sashenka
2007-05-22 02:33 pm UTC (link)
"most of it is written in iambic pentameter for a reason"

Having tried to write in iambic pentameter, I have to say that I doubt anyone with even a scrap of sanity would do it for shits and giggles. It's like self imposed mental torture.

Now, I'm going to talk about my vagina.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Sorry, can't resist.
[info]vigilanterodent
2007-05-22 03:18 pm UTC (link)
Is 'vagina' suitable for use
in a sonnet? I don't suppose so.
A famous poet told me, 'Vagina's ugly.'
Meaning, of course, the sound of it. In poems.
Meanwhile he inserts his penis frequently
into his verse, calling it, seriously, 'My
Penis'. It is short, I know, and dignified.
I mean of course the sound of it. In poems.
This whole thing is unfortunate, but petty,
like my hangup concerning English Dept memos
headed 'Mr/Mrs/Miss' - only a fishbone
In the throat of the revolution -
a waste of brains - to be concerned about
this minor issue of my cunt's good name.


- Joan Larkin

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Sorry, can't resist. - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-05-23 02:16 pm UTC

[info]kadath
2007-05-22 02:39 pm UTC (link)
I agree with Daniel's point, but he's still an asshole.

My feet are itchy and I'm worried it might be fungal.

(Reply to this)

An actual theater-type person responds in here:
[info]queencallipygos
2007-05-22 02:57 pm UTC (link)
Okay. It looks like Mr. Atropus wasn't even saying "ignore the meter" altogether. His thrust was more "don't worry about the meter AT FIRST, so you can concentrate on what is being said and then you can go back and add the meter TO that, otherwise you get so hung up on the meter that you completely overlook the fact that you're talking about having killed your father and shit."

And things aren't even all written in iambic pentameter.

A moose bit my sister once.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here:
[info]dalassa
2007-05-22 03:33 pm UTC (link)
But was it a møøse?

As far as the actual wank goes in my awkward high school Shakespeare days we spent most of our time attempting to figure out the sex jokes and ignoring the meter. Not sure that was the advice the person was looking for though.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]soupspooks, 2007-05-22 04:59 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-05-22 05:05 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]soupspooks, 2007-05-22 05:21 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]oar, 2007-05-22 06:20 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]missdaisy, 2007-05-22 08:03 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]littlest_lurker, 2007-05-22 11:30 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]luthe, 2007-05-28 05:25 am UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]anonyrat, 2007-05-22 07:11 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]freezer, 2007-05-22 07:36 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]amxjm, 2007-05-22 08:03 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]nekoneko, 2007-05-22 09:32 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here:
[info]lycoris
2007-05-22 03:47 pm UTC (link)
Moose bites can be very nasty. :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]splorch, 2007-05-22 03:59 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]tez, 2007-05-22 04:31 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]ruuger, 2007-05-22 06:07 pm UTC
Re: An actual theater-type person responds in here: - [info]alya1989262, 2007-05-22 07:33 pm UTC
Re: An actual confused-by-iconage-type person responds in here: - [info]shaysdays, 2007-05-22 08:22 pm UTC
Re: An actual confused-by-iconage-type person responds in here: - [info]ruuger, 2007-05-22 08:26 pm UTC
Re: An actual confused-by-iconage-type person responds in here: - [info]white_serpent, 2007-05-22 09:01 pm UTC
Re: An actual confused-by-iconage-type person responds in here: - [info]omnicrom, 2007-05-23 01:32 am UTC

[info]chibikaijuu
2007-05-22 03:06 pm UTC (link)
What does it say about me that I couldn't get more than two posts into the the wank, because somebody calling Shakespeare "Old English" made me twitch too hard?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]alexia75
2007-05-22 03:34 pm UTC (link)
Only good things, I think.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lemone, 2007-05-22 08:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alexia75, 2007-05-22 10:09 pm UTC

dracothelizard
2007-05-22 03:40 pm UTC (link)
They WHAT?

I want to beat them over the head with Beowulf, seriously.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2007-05-22 03:44 pm UTC

[info]barankhy
2007-05-22 03:43 pm UTC (link)
I don't know what it says about you, but I feel with you.

*wants to smack people with Beowulf*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - nam_jai, 2007-05-22 07:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2007-05-23 07:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sarracenia, 2007-05-22 07:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]soupspooks, 2007-05-23 01:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2007-05-23 02:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2007-05-23 04:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fionnabhair, 2007-05-23 07:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2007-05-23 02:30 am UTC

[info]ghostmaster
2007-05-22 03:40 pm UTC (link)
This wank puts me in mind of Nikki's "rock opera" from Chrono Cross.

"Look, ma! I know Shakespearean!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]anonyrat, 2007-05-22 07:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dark_puck, 2007-05-23 12:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ghostmaster, 2007-05-23 12:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]anonyrat, 2007-05-23 04:14 pm UTC

[info]llama_treats
2007-05-22 03:55 pm UTC (link)
I like reciting Shakespeare with a Brooklyn accent while soaking in a hot bath, but that may just be me.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-05-22 07:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2007-05-22 08:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-05-22 09:22 pm UTC

[info]catslash
2007-05-22 04:08 pm UTC (link)
Huh. And here I thought the point of iambic pentamenter was to sound as close to the natural rhythms of speech as possible. Of course, I'm the silly sort who just reads Shakespeare for fun.

I think I'm too boring to have proper repulsive-yet-fascinating-only-to-myself TMI.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]beccastareyes, 2007-05-22 04:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aristaea, 2007-05-22 05:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oar, 2007-05-22 06:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]catslash, 2007-05-22 08:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oar, 2007-05-22 09:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]catslash, 2007-05-22 09:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2007-05-22 08:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]catslash, 2007-05-22 08:27 pm UTC

[info]tez
2007-05-22 04:34 pm UTC (link)
Wank...over theater...and how to recite Shakespeare.

This may well be the holy grail of wank, in that 'you've got to be kidding me they wanked on that?' manner. I love it.

My cat is morbidly obese and expands when he lays down; does that work for the TMI?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]anonyrat, 2007-05-22 07:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]nekoneko, 2007-05-22 09:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]altoidsaddict, 2007-05-23 09:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-05-28 05:30 am UTC

[info]caffeine_fairy
2007-05-22 06:07 pm UTC (link)
Gonna use my skills with words and grammar to
Kick yo' ass in iambic pentameter

/Mitch Benn

I have a cold and I've just inhaled my own snot.

(Reply to this)


[info]oar
2007-05-22 06:12 pm UTC (link)
A pause after each line???

Oh, now I'm having flashbacks to the worst moments of my high school Englsih classes. Trigger words! Trigger words! Safe space! *flails and hides*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]oar, 2007-05-22 06:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2007-05-22 07:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dez_chan, 2007-05-22 07:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oar, 2007-05-22 09:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fionnabhair, 2007-05-23 07:30 pm UTC

[info]sorchar
2007-05-22 07:05 pm UTC (link)
I just adore the fact that you used cuisine talk. Take me, baby!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2007-05-23 11:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2007-05-23 06:32 pm UTC

[info]amxjm
2007-05-22 08:05 pm UTC (link)
I should find my Olde School Battle Rap again. It's not quite iambic, I don't think, but when else would I have a chance to post it in response to a wank?

(Reply to this)


[info]shaysdays
2007-05-22 08:19 pm UTC (link)
Ah, Shakespeare. When men were real men, and women were real men. Good times, good times.

(Reply to this)


[info]khym_chanur
2007-05-22 08:31 pm UTC (link)
Huh, I thought that the meter of what you recited followed naturally from the words, and that you didn't have to put any thought into it.

(Reply to this)


[info]white_serpent
2007-05-22 09:34 pm UTC (link)
"Trippingly on the tongue," people. Geez. Someone had to say it.

And I think I may be getting a blister on my heel.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]xturtle, 2007-05-23 02:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sparkysrevenge, 2007-05-29 07:29 am UTC

verthandi
2007-05-22 10:12 pm UTC (link)
Yes! Shakespeare wank! Just in time for Olivier's 100th birthday!

(Reply to this)


[info]janegraddell
2007-05-23 03:30 am UTC (link)
How to recite Shakespeare:

1) Move to Texas.

2) Learn to speak like a Texan.

3) Read some Shakespeare out loud.

4) Congratulations! You are now an authentic Shakespearean!

No, really. I've always wanted to see a production done with Texas accents, because that's the modern accent that's closest to how Shakespearean English was actually pronounced.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]the_mouse, 2007-05-23 05:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2007-05-23 06:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2007-05-23 06:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]moiety, 2007-05-24 10:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]janegraddell, 2007-05-23 01:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ilpalazzo, 2007-05-23 07:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fionnabhair, 2007-05-23 07:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]felinephoenix, 2007-05-25 08:19 am UTC

[info]goblin
2007-05-23 02:37 pm UTC (link)
Omigod omigod your ICON! Is it gankable?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2007-05-23 04:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]goblin, 2007-05-24 03:22 am UTC

[info]monsley
2007-05-25 11:55 am UTC (link)
I thought it ought to be recited like this, more or less:

When the sky is black [PAUSE, blink three times]
And the ducks go "quack!"...

(Reply to this)


 
   
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