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hangingfire (hangingfire) wrote in otf_wank,
@ 2007-06-07 14:36:00

Fish-inna-barrel wank of the day
The NY Times newsblog The Lede reports that Paris Hilton is out of jail and under house arrest. Predictably, the comments thread explodes. 690 comments and counting.

My favorite part about this is actually not the comments thread (which is full of all the self-righteous wankery you'd expect, on all sides). It's the Recent Posts sidebar and the comment counts therein:

I find it especially funny, and possibly even a touch ironic, in light of the sheer number of people in the Hilton comments thread ranting about how news is SERIOUS BUSINESS and complaining about the girl getting yet more airtime.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	pastri_archy 2007-06-07 09:04 pm UTC (link)
	Considering the extremely freaking comfy life she had previously, it might've jostled her world view a little bit. "You screw up one more time--you will never sleep on egyptian cotton again!" cue freak out (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mmanurere 2007-06-07 09:16 pm UTC (link)
	"...okay, one more time. But this time we mean it -- doing double the speed limit with your headlights off on a suspended license a month into your parole term for drunk driving will result in a stern threat of future consequences if you do it too many more times without apologizing!" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	pastri_archy 2007-06-07 09:26 pm UTC (link)
	"Yes, young lady! We shall sell your Louis Vuitton collection and the Jag to pay the legal costs. And don't think we won't!" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mmanurere 2007-06-07 09:33 pm UTC (link)
	"We'll up your allowance so you can buy them all back, of course. We're not that cruel." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	pastri_archy 2007-06-07 09:37 pm UTC (link)
	"But only after you prove how sorry you are! ...the 58th time the last charm!" (Reply to this)(Parent)

	itsirtou 2007-06-07 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	But it won't be a 2007 Jag! It'll be a 2006! Consider that your warning!" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mmanurere 2007-06-07 09:48 pm UTC (link)
	If someone had gotten killed, it would have been a 2005! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	alya1989262 2007-06-07 09:52 pm UTC (link)
	Um, huh? doesn't get it (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dragonfangirl 2007-06-07 10:29 pm UTC (link)
	She's being punished by being given a new car that's two years out of date! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	alya1989262 2007-06-07 10:34 pm UTC (link)
	headdesk And here I was, googling "Jag", because I thought it was an acronym or something. Hmpf. I'll go to bed. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	squib 2007-06-07 11:22 pm UTC (link)
	And it'll be one of those newfangled Jags that's nothing but a rebadged Ford! So there! mourns the loss of a once-beautiful car (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	frequentmouse 2007-06-07 11:36 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, GOD yes. Right before the ~~model change~~ blaspheming of a great car, my son and I had a long conversation about how one could tell S-type Jags dating back to their beginnings by certain consistent design features: all of those were stripped out by the last redesign. And what did who do the BMW, why? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	aposiopetic 2007-06-07 09:57 pm UTC (link)
	"Oh, all right. It's a good thing we're the ~~Church of England~~ LAPD." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	puipui 2007-06-07 10:13 pm UTC (link)
	"Cake or jail?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	wonapalei 2007-06-07 10:45 pm UTC (link)
	Er...I had the vegetarian. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	wickedwitch 2007-06-08 05:23 pm UTC (link)
	You Nazi sh!thead. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	funwithrage 2007-06-08 02:17 am UTC (link)
	Hee! Doubly amusing because, when dealing with anyone except rich white girls, the LAPD? Not exactly the CoE. More like the Inquisition. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	utahraptor 2007-06-08 04:22 am UTC (link)
	Now, you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	pastri_archy 2007-06-08 04:10 pm UTC (link)
	You will be poked with the most stuffed end of the Soft Cushion until you regret your crimes! (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Read comments) -

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