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hangingfire ([info]hangingfire) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-06-07 14:36:00


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Fish-inna-barrel wank of the day
The NY Times newsblog The Lede reports that Paris Hilton is out of jail and under house arrest. Predictably, the comments thread explodes. 690 comments and counting.

My favorite part about this is actually not the comments thread (which is full of all the self-righteous wankery you'd expect, on all sides). It's the Recent Posts sidebar and the comment counts therein:



I find it especially funny, and possibly even a touch ironic, in light of the sheer number of people in the Hilton comments thread ranting about how news is SERIOUS BUSINESS and complaining about the girl getting yet more airtime.


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[info]napalmnacey
2007-06-12 05:47 am UTC (link)
He's shirtless and scruffy? That's added incentive.

Well, Dad would wear overalls. Every time. Even in hot weather. I wish. I can smell really terrible sometimes. :( I hate it.

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[info]evilsqueakers
2007-06-12 05:50 am UTC (link)
Duuude, totally worth it then.

Overalls are at least better than cheap shorts that crap out every couple months. And if they get flubbed up, instant gear to paint the house. Most humans smell bad, so you're not alone.

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[info]napalmnacey
2007-06-12 05:51 am UTC (link)
The good thing is when I smell good, I smell really good. LOL!

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[info]evilsqueakers
2007-06-12 05:53 am UTC (link)
Aw, see, one up than me. I only smell good when I use my purdy perfume. Or my shampoo that smells good too.

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[info]napalmnacey
2007-06-12 05:59 am UTC (link)
I have this natural, sweet musky smell. So odd.

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[info]evilsqueakers
2007-06-12 06:01 am UTC (link)
I have no smell, or no one's ever told me about it. Mostly I just smell like my soap and shampoo, which are lavender.

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[info]napalmnacey
2007-06-12 10:03 am UTC (link)
See, that's nice.

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[info]evilsqueakers
2007-06-12 04:23 pm UTC (link)
Well, I started out picking it because the color was purple (sadly, I was like eighteen at the time), and I kept it because it smelled nice. I turn easy for the color purple.

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[info]napalmnacey
2007-06-12 04:25 pm UTC (link)
Oh, me too. Purple and pink when associated with strawberries. I'm such a *girl* sometimes.

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[info]evilsqueakers
2007-06-12 04:29 pm UTC (link)
See, I just started liking pink again. When I was younger, my godmom decided MAUVE was the perfect color for a six-year-old girl. And it stayed like that until she moved when I was 14. Yeah.

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[info]napalmnacey
2007-06-12 04:34 pm UTC (link)
It has to be a certain kind of pink for me. A bold, sassy, skull-fucking pink. A pink that says, "I HAVE A VAGINA, BITCH, AND I LIKE IT!" You know what I mean? I have this deliciously hot pink purse. Mainly so I don't leave it behind anywhere cause I just lose black ones - they are invisible to me. A good pink on my olive skin looks great though, so I can wear the colour. I also like it on notebooks, as pen inks and on my niece (who is more obsessed about pink than anyone I know, including Stephanie from Lazy Town).

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[info]evilsqueakers
2007-06-12 04:41 pm UTC (link)
*laugh* I only like cotton candy pink for me. It looks damn good on my pale skin. But yes, I know what you mean about the BOLD IN YOUR FACE FUCKFACE pink. It's good for conversation starters, too. You can't miss a rack in the color. *whistles innocently* And I have a brown Fossil bag that goes everywhere I go so I don't lose it. And I don't worry about it matching my outfit since I'm never out of jeans.

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[info]napalmnacey
2007-06-12 04:45 pm UTC (link)
I'm in everything. Skirts, jeans, you name it. I can pretty much wear whatever I want cause I have a good skin colour, an even figure and blue eyes with dark features. I can wear yellow, some oranges, purples and pinks, greens, blues, black, white, silver, gold, coppers, you name it. It's great. I have this awesome dress in hot pink, it looks fuckin' fab on my curves and with the dark hair. Sometimes I really, really like being a girl. :D

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[info]evilsqueakers
2007-06-12 04:50 pm UTC (link)
*grins* Brunette with rosy ivory skin and mood blue eyes. I *know* cool colors pop against me and make me stand. Needless to say, when I want "HERE I AM" I wear them. Can't miss me. Added bonus? Blue eyes are more vibrant. I can where most cool and pastel colors. I look disgusting in orange, sage greens, and anything with yellow undertones. Also, gold jewelry doesn't pop nearly as much as platinum and silver. Guess which I wear.

I hate going to funerals because I can't wear jeans. That's just sad.

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[info]napalmnacey
2007-06-12 04:55 pm UTC (link)
See, I have olive skin that's pale. So I can do the pale brunette with ocean-blue eyes wearing subtle colours thing, or I can do the Mediterranian woman thing and wear bold colours. Mum's Scottish, Gran was Maltese.

Blue eyes are great against dark hair. Very dramatic! There are some oranges I look terrible in! I get away with most colours though.

I love jeans. I have this super-flared pair that I got at an op shop for 9 bucks. The best jeans I've bought in years. They hug my butt beautifully and look great in t-shirts. Very rock'n'roll, which is all good for me. Jeans are the best, man. Classic.

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[info]evilsqueakers
2007-06-12 05:09 pm UTC (link)
See, my family's mostly American mush. But supposedly back in the 1800s, I'm mostly Irish and English on my dad's side. Who the hell knows on my mom, except that my great-grandmother was supposedly full-blooded Cherokee. Emphasis on the supposedly. Mom stuck in a sage green dress when I was younger, and oh my god, no one could have looked as pale and sickly and not be in hospital as I did. Terrible.

The funny part? I started out blonder than Barbie. So best of both worlds. I like my nearly black hair now. My mom has black hair and my dad is dishwater blond, so I got a weird two or three shades less than Mom but way darker than Daddy. It makes for some popping. It's especially so when my eyes are more of an electric blue and sparkle. Everyone notices then. What woman doesn't love that kind of attention?

All I have is my Wal-mart's pair, but I love those things. They're all comfy and broken in. Fuck skirts, they're not half as fun. Besides, that requires hose, and finding those for me is hella hard. I'm short and fat, they don't exist.

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