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Ms. Katonic ([info]ms_katonic) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-06-20 21:12:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Mildly Amused

Wanted: Hot woman to sexually service couple. Must be prepared to emigrate.
The ever productive [info]polyamory community is at it again, folks.

It all started when a newbie, [info]timetraveler7, posted to the community with an introduction.

My wife and I are polyamorists without living polyamory. Imagine how we felt when we discovered that. Now all we need is some friends of like persuasion, with who we can gab and gab about such a nice thing as LOVE. We live in Belize, Central America--having recently emigrated. We have lots of room in paradise for friends and visitors. In partaicular, we think we would like to find that special "she" who might like to get to know us...with whom we can dream. Or more. Anyone out there like to get to know us?

Trouble kicks off right away, as observant members note that it's against community rules to post intro posts and personal ads without including a topic for general discussion. [info]timetraveler7 acknowledges this but does nothing about it, citing not knowing how as a defence. The mod intervenes, tersely requesting it be edited. And then things kick off, as [info]nine_waters takes offence to the mod doing her job (o noes!) and flounces out. The snarking commences.

Minor, as these things go. Wait. It gets better. [info]timetraveler7 reveals more about himself... and people, it's good.

[info]mactavish points out the obvious flaws in his quest - namely that a) suppose the person they start dating goes off one of them, and b) who the hell's going to leave their whole life behind and emigrate to fucking Belize? (Except a bit politer than that, but you get my drift.)

Mr. Time Traveler responds with a potted biography that notably fails to give a straight answer to either point but does contain abuse of the English language that brings tears to the eyes. In which we discover that he's 66 and he's on his second (third?) wife... who is 29. He met her online and married her after a two-week in person courtship. And to top it all off... he's a Mormon polygamist who believes men are naturally polygamous by nature. Also claims to be seeking friendship more than anything else, and it's completely not about the sex... but adamantly insists that the third he's after HAS to be a woman, because he and his wife don't trust men.

There's plenty here to mock, but my personal favourite has to be the bit about the frustrating pidgeon called Creole. My inner linguist is cringing, but my inner child loves the mental image...



(Post a new comment)


[info]wrenlet
2007-06-20 09:04 pm UTC (link)
In which we discover that he's 66 and he's on his second (third?) wife... who is 29. He met her online and married her after a two-week in person courtship. And to top it all off... he's a Mormon polygamist who believes men are naturally polygamous by nature.

... y'know, before we found out The Truth About the Ponyfucker, my initial reaction to his "I think this is called stallion mentality" post was, "No, we call that being an asshole."

There's got to be a law or something for that. "You're not poly, you're just greedy."

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]bemysty
2007-06-20 09:08 pm UTC (link)
Someone should sponsor him a melon with a hole.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-06-21 12:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-06-21 04:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-06-21 12:46 pm UTC

[info]hangingfire
2007-06-20 09:19 pm UTC (link)
There should also be some kind of corollary having to do with the witholding of crucial information until busted. Something like the "It's Not the Crime, It's the Cover-Up" clause.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cleolinda, 2007-06-20 09:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 04:46 am UTC

[info]hallidae
2007-06-20 11:06 pm UTC (link)
We actually could just call it the "Stallion Mentality Defense" or something.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dragonfangirl
2007-06-21 12:00 pm UTC (link)
I'm still campaigning to get it called the "walrus mentality." Because "stallion" is too flattering, IMO.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]arielchan, 2007-06-21 05:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2007-06-21 05:53 pm UTC
I tihnk my geekery is showing... - [info]miss_arel, 2007-06-22 06:48 am UTC
Re: I tihnk my geekery is showing... - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-06-23 12:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]digigirl132, 2007-06-22 10:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aristaea, 2007-06-23 02:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]digigirl132, 2007-06-22 10:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-06-23 12:04 pm UTC

dracothelizard
2007-06-20 09:21 pm UTC (link)
"Finally we met in person by my flying on an airplane from Salt Lake City to Phoenix, spending the weekend from hell, then thankfully driving to Las Vegas, and tying the knot---all during a two week, whirlwind romance."

...I do not think that means what he thinks it means.

He doesn't want polygamy, he just wants a hareem!

(Reply to this)


[info]xturtle
2007-06-20 09:28 pm UTC (link)
I now want a "frustrating pidgeon called Creole" icon with a pigeon in it. For when words fail.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]tephra
2007-06-20 11:04 pm UTC (link)
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2007-06-20 11:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tephra, 2007-06-21 12:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]xturtle, 2007-06-21 02:30 am UTC

[info]runrunmarch
2007-06-23 08:17 pm UTC (link)
I am so putting an enemy named Creole in the next incarnation of my Pigeon Fight flash game.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tez
2007-06-20 09:29 pm UTC (link)
*headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

If I hear one more person claiming to be a 'Mormon polygamist' I'm gonna choke a bitch with an official church declaration.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]wankaholic
2007-06-20 09:34 pm UTC (link)
You and me both.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tez, 2007-06-20 10:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 12:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2007-06-21 12:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 01:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2007-06-21 01:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 01:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2007-06-21 03:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 03:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2007-06-21 03:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hearsawho, 2007-06-21 04:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2007-06-21 03:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-06-21 12:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2007-06-21 08:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 10:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]influencethis, 2007-06-22 07:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2007-06-22 07:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-06-23 12:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 04:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delcj, 2007-06-21 05:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 06:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]missdaisy, 2007-06-21 05:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2007-06-21 05:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 06:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 06:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 06:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 06:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 06:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 06:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 06:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 06:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 06:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 07:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 07:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 01:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 05:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2007-06-21 05:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 08:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mrbimble, 2007-07-01 04:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vito_excalibur, 2007-06-21 02:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 02:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2007-06-22 03:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2007-06-21 04:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2007-06-21 04:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 08:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hearsawho, 2007-06-21 09:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2007-06-22 03:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]faultypremise, 2007-06-22 04:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-06-22 01:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladyvorkosigan, 2007-06-21 11:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladyvorkosigan, 2007-06-21 11:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]airawyn, 2007-06-22 10:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-22 10:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-06-22 01:33 am UTC

[info]wankaholic
2007-06-20 09:35 pm UTC (link)
Gah. This is what I hate about being poly and living in Utah. Every time I mention it to someone, they have to ask the inevitable, "So you agree with polygamy/so what's the deal with polygamy?" set of questions.

I'm not even LDS, people. Idiots like this guy aren't representative of Utah poly people as a whole.

(Reply to this)


[info]entrenous88
2007-06-20 09:38 pm UTC (link)
It says something about the whole state of otf_wank that I read through the details of nearly any post here, shake my head at the person causing the wank, and then mutter to myself, "Horsefucker."

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]thesilentsenshi
2007-06-20 11:02 pm UTC (link)
I don't think any wank will ever top that one.... though with the final HP book being released, we might get close..

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sithwitch13, 2007-06-21 01:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankismyfandom, 2007-06-21 02:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thesilentsenshi, 2007-06-21 05:38 am UTC

[info]issendai
2007-06-20 09:57 pm UTC (link)
What is it about the "playful pretentious" persona that attracts all the creeps? It's practically the default setting for middle-aged and elderly male fucktards.

(Reply to this)


[info]pfeffermuse
2007-06-20 10:00 pm UTC (link)
Why am I imagining a news story from two months down the road:

Young blonde missing in Belize. Sandy Olsen, a 23-year-old librarian from Provo, went to live her dreams in Central America. The young woman went off answering an ad she found on LiveJournal. . .

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-06-22 04:42 am UTC

[info]squib
2007-06-20 10:26 pm UTC (link)
This guy is really sending up the creepy flags. Particularly the whole business of having tons of people fly in to "lose themselves" and "wander around naked". Honestly, it sounds a bit like a cult.

(Reply to this)


[info]lottelita
2007-06-20 10:26 pm UTC (link)
We've got a countdown to whiny deletion going on [info]dot_poly_snark. Although he does seem like a marathoner. He'll keep on responding and responding and responding ... until we acknowledge how very evolved he is!

(Reply to this)


[info]shallow_kid
2007-06-20 10:33 pm UTC (link)
I assume English is not this guy's first language. Someone welcomes him and asks what else he's into as his lj profile isn't very descriptive as of yet. His answer?

I need to work on that profile so that all of you can genuinely be disappointed. My wife on the other hand is a blazing star... I merely one who writes.

Huh?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]thesilentsenshi, 2007-06-20 11:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]thesilentsenshi, 2007-06-20 11:08 pm UTC

[info]white_serpent
2007-06-20 10:41 pm UTC (link)
You can never put your foot into it in the same place twice.

Oh, I don't know. I think he's put his foot in it many times so far. So to speak.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Buh-dum TSSSHHH! - [info]lottelita, 2007-06-21 12:50 am UTC

[info]hyaenid
2007-06-20 11:31 pm UTC (link)
(I am a much published sci-fi author for more than 40 years (pseudonym)

Hee!

...Actually, I can believe that. My poor abused genre.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - magpiggles, 2007-06-21 01:04 am UTC
(no subject) - magpiggles, 2007-06-21 01:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-06-21 09:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-06-21 05:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-06-21 12:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pointandlaugh, 2007-06-21 09:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pointandlaugh, 2007-06-21 09:31 pm UTC

[info]velvet_mace
2007-06-20 11:42 pm UTC (link)
If his normal posts are this full of purple prose, I'd hate to see how urple his sci-fi novels are.

(Reply to this)


[info]tangentialone
2007-06-21 12:25 am UTC (link)
There's plenty here to mock, but my personal favourite has to be the bit about the frustrating pidgeon called Creole. My inner linguist is cringing, but my inner child loves the mental image...

I thought it was, like... pidgin is the infant stage and creole is the adult stage. :O

There is always room for "dreamers" and "adventurers" and people who are not afraid of life...and running around naked...stripped of their masks...and sometimes even their clothing.

LOLOLOL

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2007-06-21 02:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2007-06-21 03:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mindset, 2007-06-21 05:09 am UTC

[info]edgyspice
2007-06-21 10:27 pm UTC (link)
Wait, what?

00goddess: If your behavior at home is anything like it has been in this forum, you are an abusive husband. I advise your wife to seek help. Even in Belize, there is someone who will help her escape you.

Can someone tell me what I missed?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]animeg3282, 2007-06-22 06:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]runrunmarch, 2007-06-23 08:21 pm UTC

[info]napalmnacey
2007-06-23 12:26 pm UTC (link)
It is not about sex; it's about enlargement, expansion, growth...

AHahahahaahahahaha! *points and laughs*

(Reply to this)


 
   
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