Current mood:	Dramatic
Current music:	"Space Dementia" - Muse

You made me cry on the internet - now I won't sue you!
Once upon a time, there was badbearprofiles, an lj community dedicated to, well, mocking bad profiles of bears on various online venues.

Pretty much a month ago, demianrufusmikeypup's profile (contains some nakedness) was highlighted in this post, resulting in a dozen comments* - originally.

For you see, about a month later, demianrufus found out, and he is not pleased. He sent the OP this lovely message:
"I saw the webpage you had where you and twelve otehrs or so, criticized and teased me quoting my profile text. I did a search on my name and it came up and I am really disgusted you and those otehr men did that. I want you to delete all that stuff about me off the internet.And if you refuse to I will consider taking you and the others to court."

And suddenly, there are sixty comments** in the new post, which seems small to those who know of Crystalwank, but is breathtaking for that community - and look at all the broken internet laws we have.
There are calls for bahleetion from other users (with srz bzns about censoring and mocking ethics in this thread), because...

furmuslbulk: Please delete the original post and help this poor guy chill out!
Because we all know stepping away from the keyboard is hard, y'all!

urbear: The criticism was over-the-top and cruel, in my opinion. While I understand that it's tempting to dig in your heels after that ridiculous threat of court action, deleting the original post would be an act of kindness and reflect well on you.
Someone doesn't get the point of pointing and mocking...
The same gent also kindly plays online psychologist and tells us that demianrufus' profile used to be consistent with Asperger's, and therefore excused from being mocked for pretentious teal deering.

Meanwhile, demianrufus frolicks about in the original post telling everybody "if you do not remove this comment about me I will try to sue you in court." - needs a bit more Sockpuppet-at-Law, methinks.
He also tells us about his outrage. But alas, his will shall not be done, and he is moste sad.

Because having your dating profile mocked on the internet is also serious business. ~~And maybe like rape, just for good measure.~~

At least, burlyinthebay sets us straight - we're just ~~mean girls from high school~~ ~~raised by hyenas~~ thugs.

* I made a comment here in the original.
** I pop in here and here.
If these warrant posting to i_wank, I shall transfer this and accept optional spanking as a punishment.

ETA:
This kind of bear. Not this. And not this, either.

Son of ETA:
The original profile, though, has been bahleeted.
Yes, I know, this is therefore a superfluous link.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	rimrunner 2007-07-11 05:37 am UTC (link)
	...am I the only person who correctly interpreted the usage of the word "bear" the first time? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	lysana 2007-07-11 05:52 am UTC (link)
	Gods, no. But I once netted myself a gag gift of a ranger cap and Smokey the Bear earrings from a gay friend of mine because I cracked a comment about how I like bears so much, I must be a forest ranger. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	delcj 2007-07-11 05:58 am UTC (link)
	i knew what it meant too. mostly because of an episode of Wild Boyz. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	singe 2007-07-11 05:58 am UTC (link)
	Nope, I got it. And now I feel like I missed out on 90% of the humor. "Heyyy, Boo Boo!" (Reply to this)(Parent)

keri
2007-07-11 06:03 am UTC (link)

I'm pretending that I didn't, really. Because even though I got it right the first time around, reading it the other way the second time made it a million times better.

Alas, that I had to train myself to think of things as related to sex or sexuality when I was in middle school, so that I'd be ridiculed less often. Eleven years later and it comes back to bite me. (And not in a good way.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	barankhy 2007-07-11 06:09 am UTC (link)
	It's fun to play with it, though, and to write a gay porny version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(Deleted post)

(no subject) - barankhy, 2007-07-11 02:13 pm UTC

vito_excalibur
2007-07-11 06:17 pm UTC (link)
I've seen that! Though it was more genderqueer than, er, straight gay. Pretty hot, too.
(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - barankhy, 2007-07-12 02:50 am UTC

omega
2007-07-11 08:00 am UTC (link)
No. The wank might actually have been funny if I'd thought it was about the foresty bears.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

dragonfangirl
2007-07-11 09:06 am UTC (link)
I actually guessed what it meant although I'd never heard the word as a category before.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

slackeremeritus
2007-07-11 10:53 am UTC (link)
No, no you aren't.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

silrana
2007-07-11 10:59 am UTC (link)
No, though it took me a second. "Bears with online profiles... oh, *those* bears."

A few years ago my husband went to a science-fiction convention (with lots of costumes in view), and the hotel's other space was being used by a Bears and Cubs gathering. He said it made for some interesting double takes in the men's room from both sides.
(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

drhenryjekyll
2007-07-11 02:38 pm UTC (link)
Thanks, I just snorted my tea.

owwwww.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

yattara
2007-07-11 02:02 pm UTC (link)
No. It wasn't until barankhy posted explanatory links that I went, 'Wait, it could have been about ursine bears?' It says a lot about me that I didn't think of those, at all. I just don't want to know what.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

soupspooks
2007-07-11 03:27 pm UTC (link)
No, I actually got it, but I had to be sure, so I hovered.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

doomsday
2007-07-11 03:55 pm UTC (link)
Not immediately--my first thought was furries--but I figured it out after a couple sentences.
(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

annabelle_lee
2007-07-11 10:24 pm UTC (link)
Awww, Watership Down icon! Keehal was so awesome in that movie. :D
(Reply to this)(Parent)

melannen
2007-07-11 05:27 pm UTC (link)
I thought either furries or some sort of weird pomo roleplay in the first few lines, but once it became clear that all people involved were guys I remembered the other meaning of the term, and it started making much more sense. :D If I had realized this was OTF wank I like to think I'd've gotten it quicker, though.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

fuzzybluelogic
2007-07-11 06:15 pm UTC (link)
My brain went auto to Bears and Cubs (I play D&D with a Bear/Cub couple) plus some online rpgs.

Wait.

With a name like "rimrunner" methinks perhaps your knowledge is destined?
(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - rimrunner, 2007-07-13 04:17 am UTC

vito_excalibur
2007-07-11 06:19 pm UTC (link)
Nope!

That's why Lyle Lovett's song "Bears" is so awesome.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

vzg
2007-07-12 12:04 am UTC (link)
For about two seconds, I thought, "What, are people creating fake bear profiles, like RP journals? ...Oh, no, it's those bears, isn't it?"
(Reply to this)(Parent)

napalmnacey
2007-07-12 02:50 pm UTC (link)
I knew immediately but my very first gay friend was a bear.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

catslash
2007-07-12 03:31 pm UTC (link)
Nope. My first thought was, "I wonder how many people got confused by this report?" And now I know.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

redwarrior
2007-07-12 10:28 pm UTC (link)
I did.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

oxydosic
2007-07-14 02:45 am UTC (link)
Nah, i got it too. But then I probably watch too much gay porn.
(Reply to this)(Parent)

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