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snarkivist ([info]snarkivist) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-07-18 20:20:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
What's Latin for "wank"?
I guess you could say that this is from the Jesus fandom. One of the two recent pieces of news out of the Vatican that pissed off most of the planet was that individual priests will be free to celebrate the Tridentine Mass whenever they damn well please. The Tridentine Mass is the Latin service used worldwide by all Catholics from the 16th century until about 1970. The structure of the service itself is different, not just what language it's celebrated in.

(Full disclosure: Yes, I am one of those whackjobs who attends this kind of Mass.)

Well, this has caused such global waves of wank in the press and on the Internets that the entire planet is red and sore by now. I have many examples, but my favorite so far has got to be this innocent-looking article from Indianapolis. All would have been well...if this paper didn't have forums attached to every article.

"A dead language for a dead god. How appropriate,"
one commenter said oh-so-cleverly. And...they're off! Catholics aren't Christians! Protestants don't understand history! Anyone who believes in God is a fucking moron! Pedophile priests!  FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!!11

I'd pick out highlights, but really...there's too much here.






(Post a new comment)


verthandi
2007-07-19 12:43 am UTC (link)
It didn't even occur to me that this could cause wank. I sort of knew that the Vatican was housed in an ivory tower, but really! What's next, hair shirts and self-flagellation?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sorchar, 2007-07-19 12:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 12:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2007-07-19 10:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2007-07-19 10:44 am UTC
(no subject) - verthandi, 2007-07-19 12:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 01:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-07-19 02:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blackjackrocket, 2007-07-19 05:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 06:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soupspooks, 2007-07-19 04:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miraba, 2007-07-19 11:39 am UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-07-19 05:42 pm UTC

[info]riah_chan
2007-07-19 12:44 am UTC (link)
I just don't understand why non-Catholics would even care.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 12:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]riah_chan, 2007-07-19 01:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]riah_chan, 2007-07-19 01:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 01:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2007-07-19 02:42 am UTC

[info]vigilanterodent
2007-07-19 12:47 am UTC (link)
Oh mans, I hope one of the local Catholic churches gets in on that. I'd love to attend a Tridentine Mass just to say I have.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 12:51 am UTC

[info]rogueunit
2007-07-19 12:49 am UTC (link)
Oh you can find endless sources of wanky comments on those forums. Somebody will post any sort of negative or stupid comment to any article. But it's always good fun to read during my lunch break!

(Reply to this)


[info]snacky
2007-07-19 12:58 am UTC (link)
I never understand the "Catholics aren't Christians" bit. "Vatican says: pedos are a-okay!" I get that part, but how are Catholics *not* Christian? Isn't believing in Christ the only requirement?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2007-07-19 01:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snacky, 2007-07-19 01:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pokecheck, 2007-07-19 01:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-07-21 03:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]limyaael, 2007-07-19 01:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snacky, 2007-07-19 01:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2007-07-19 04:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2007-07-19 04:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 05:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]riah_chan, 2007-07-19 01:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snacky, 2007-07-19 01:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 01:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]utahraptor, 2007-07-19 01:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 02:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]utahraptor, 2007-07-19 02:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snacky, 2007-07-19 01:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-07-19 01:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]squeakytoy, 2007-07-19 02:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mochibuni, 2007-07-19 01:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-07-19 01:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-07-19 02:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magnolia_mama, 2007-07-19 03:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-07-19 03:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2007-07-19 04:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sharps, 2007-07-19 09:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]octavia, 2007-07-19 09:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2007-07-19 01:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_penguin, 2007-07-19 04:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2007-07-19 01:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vergilsparda, 2007-07-19 01:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2007-07-19 01:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-07-19 05:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]drhenryjekyll, 2007-07-20 03:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-07-20 04:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-07-21 03:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-07-19 01:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magnolia_mama, 2007-07-19 03:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thecheese, 2007-07-19 08:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-07-19 04:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2007-07-21 02:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2007-07-19 01:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2007-07-19 01:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]warrioreowyn, 2007-07-19 02:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-07-19 01:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lizzypaul, 2007-07-19 05:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]warrioreowyn, 2007-07-19 02:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]saralina25, 2007-07-19 02:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2007-07-19 04:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 05:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 05:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 05:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 06:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]warrioreowyn, 2007-07-21 01:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-21 06:13 am UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-07-19 05:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]waltraute, 2007-07-19 01:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pet, 2007-07-19 01:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]grrliz, 2007-07-19 01:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]danceswithelvis, 2007-07-19 03:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-07-19 09:50 am UTC

[info]utahraptor
2007-07-19 01:12 am UTC (link)
Oh rebellious teen atheists and your ever so witty 'lol gawd is ded' and aerial pasta, please get out of my secular affiliation.

(Reply to this)


[info]grrliz
2007-07-19 01:32 am UTC (link)
Okay, so they can celebrate this mass whenever they want, but are there really that many Catholic priests who are that skilled in Latin these days that they'd actually be able to recite an entire mass in the language? I mean, they could memorize it start to finish, I suppose, but that strikes me as lacking a little bit of spiritual passion. o_O

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]delcj, 2007-07-19 01:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hearsawho, 2007-07-19 01:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-07-19 01:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2007-07-19 02:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-07-19 02:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2007-07-19 03:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2007-07-19 07:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]grrliz, 2007-07-19 02:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 02:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hearsawho, 2007-07-19 03:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]zaganthi, 2007-07-19 11:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]polygamouse, 2007-07-19 01:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vengeance_bean, 2007-07-19 02:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-07-19 03:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]omega, 2007-07-19 08:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mummimamma, 2007-07-19 08:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]omega, 2007-07-19 11:51 am UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-07-19 05:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-07-21 03:29 am UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-07-21 04:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2007-07-19 02:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2007-07-19 03:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_penguin, 2007-07-19 04:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2007-07-19 04:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_penguin, 2007-07-19 04:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sashenka, 2007-07-19 04:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_penguin, 2007-07-19 04:28 am UTC
... - [info]bemysty, 2007-07-19 09:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladysorka, 2007-07-19 05:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2007-07-19 10:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-07-19 04:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 05:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 05:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mummimamma, 2007-07-19 08:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]threegoldfish, 2007-07-19 11:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mummimamma, 2007-07-26 07:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]threegoldfish, 2007-07-26 07:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-07-21 03:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mummimamma, 2007-07-26 07:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]suzycat, 2007-07-31 11:31 am UTC

[info]sisterelwood
2007-07-19 01:49 am UTC (link)
All I have to say is once again some people try to make me feel bad by telling me that since I'm Catholic I'm not a Christian. To which I am more than happy to reply with, "I'm glad I'm not Christian by your standards because most of them are batshit insane. Besides, if I'm going to Hell with all the other non-Christians then I'll have good company. I can chill with Jesus- I mean, he was a Jew, wasn't he?"

(Reply to this)


[info]khym_chanur
2007-07-19 02:06 am UTC (link)
I've never understood the point of giving recitals on how you should live your life, the nature of good and evil, and metaphysics in a language that the listeners can't understand. Now, if the parishioners were taught to understand Latin because things would be lost in translation, I could see the point, or if these were supposedly the exact words that Jesus had spoken and thus had some sort of supernatural weight behind them, but neither of those is the case.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]missdaisy, 2007-07-19 02:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-07-22 02:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lcsbanana, 2007-07-19 02:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 02:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-07-19 03:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soupspooks, 2007-07-19 03:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2007-07-19 04:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2007-07-19 06:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sharps, 2007-07-19 10:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mael, 2007-07-19 11:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 01:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mael, 2007-07-19 03:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-07-21 03:44 am UTC

[info]exdee
2007-07-19 02:23 am UTC (link)
I've kinda always wanted to go to a Tridentine Mass. One would think I'd be more up on these things, going to a big Jesuit university...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2007-07-19 02:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2007-07-19 02:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 02:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2007-07-19 05:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hearsawho, 2007-07-19 05:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]coffeebun, 2007-07-19 06:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2007-07-19 12:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 02:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 02:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soupspooks, 2007-07-19 03:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 04:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 04:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soupspooks, 2007-07-19 04:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 05:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]soupspooks, 2007-07-19 05:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 06:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-07-19 11:34 am UTC

[info]seiberwing
2007-07-19 03:04 am UTC (link)
So Tridentine is not actually a kind of Christian toothpaste. Good to know.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - flightstothesea, 2007-07-19 03:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2007-07-19 03:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-07-19 06:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2007-07-19 06:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]deliciouschaos, 2007-07-20 11:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2007-08-01 05:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]demonbean, 2007-07-19 04:44 am UTC

[info]mmanurere
2007-07-19 03:51 am UTC (link)
I just want to know whether it's kosher (so to speak) to have non-Catholics in the choir...because, dude, old Latin church music is some of the best stuff a countertenor gets to do.

I'd even be willing to wear male clothes! While performing!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 04:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 05:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 05:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mmanurere, 2007-07-19 05:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 05:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerinc, 2007-07-19 05:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerinc, 2007-07-19 05:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-07-19 09:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2007-07-19 07:00 pm UTC

[info]supersyncspaz7
2007-07-19 05:15 am UTC (link)
The first time I got exposed to the "Catholics aren't Christians!" thing, I was at my own church (I'm AMEZ by birth, but went to Catholic school for a time), and I had to patiently explain to everyone that no, Catholics don't worship Mary, we didn't have to learn Latin or NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING (the music teacher tried and failed to teach us "Hail Mary" in Latin), and no, the priests who taught in my religion class weren't trying to grope me (one of them was youngish--maybe late 30s/early 40s, and would DJ at our school dances. Father Pat was so cool).

And really, where do people think the line "...the holy Catholic church" comes from in the Apostles' Creed?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]magnolia_mama, 2007-07-19 11:55 am UTC

[info]lerefuge
2007-07-19 05:43 am UTC (link)
What? Some people actually think Catholics are not Christians? I feel like I crawled from under a rock.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 05:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 05:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-07-22 02:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]utahraptor, 2007-07-19 06:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lerefuge, 2007-07-19 02:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 02:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-07-19 01:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2007-07-26 06:21 am UTC

[info]mummimamma
2007-07-19 08:31 am UTC (link)
Hurrah! Now people will be wanting learn Latin again! And my eight years of Latin in university will finally pay off!
What do you mean don't need to understand what they actually say?

Of course, living in a catholic country would be an advantage.

(Reply to this)


[info]bemysty
2007-07-19 09:24 am UTC (link)
As a person studying Religion Science who will toss a coin to decide what language to take her credits in I feel fully qualified to say this: lol religion ¯\(º_o)/¯

(Reply to this)


[info]radiotrash
2007-07-19 12:11 pm UTC (link)
Well according to Jack Chick Catholics aren't Christians because the whole telling your sins to the priest is from heathen Egyptian rituals and it's really a religion developed by Satan to take us away from God's love.

Or something.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-07-19 12:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - magpiggles, 2007-07-19 12:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]polygamouse, 2007-07-19 01:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-07-19 02:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2007-07-19 03:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-07-20 06:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2007-07-20 06:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]radiotrash, 2007-07-19 03:54 pm UTC

[info]rosina_alcona
2007-07-19 01:05 pm UTC (link)
There is no funny in anyone's comments : (

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-07-20 06:35 am UTC

[info]pet
2007-07-19 01:09 pm UTC (link)
See, I'm Orthodox. Benedict was kind enough to grudgingly admit that my church also has apostolic successsion (HEY! WE WERE HERE FIRST, DUDE!) but because we don't believe in papal supremacy we're still not...real Christians, or something? I don't know. Whatever. The whole thing makes me roll my eyes a whole lot. The Catholics broke off from the Orthodox church in 1064 and ever since the crusaders' sack of Constantinople things have been a bit tense.

Heh.

Also, I am now imagining tons of Catholic priests scrambling to remember their Latin, and being v. amused.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]waltraute, 2007-07-19 01:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pet, 2007-07-19 01:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]waltraute, 2007-07-19 02:46 pm UTC

[info]queencallipygos
2007-07-19 01:50 pm UTC (link)
As God as my witness, I honestly believed that priests always have been free to celebrate the Tridentine Mass. So I'm a little confused -- I always imagined that a parish could set up "okay, we'll be doing a Tridentine Mass on Sundays at 7, but then an English one after that at 9, so you can pick the one you want to come to." Hasn't this always been the case? Or is this ruling now saying that on any given mass, a priest can just say, "Oh, I feel Latin today" and just spontaneously break it out?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]waltraute, 2007-07-19 02:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-07-19 06:14 pm UTC

[info]shadowkitty
2007-07-19 04:13 pm UTC (link)
Oh, did you have to remind me why I hate Latin in Mass? We once had this live satellite thing where the last Pope was watching college kids all over the world have Mass. I snuck in at the back so I could get away early & was greeted by my priest, who said, "Oh, there you are! Get up to the front, you're doing a Hail Mary. In front of the Pope. In Latin."

I came thisclose to fainting, I really did.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]momcat, 2007-07-19 04:30 pm UTC

[info]ladysorka
2007-07-19 05:22 pm UTC (link)
...I need to go to one of these masses. And possibly join their choir. I would totally go back to church if they actually sang to me in Latin every week.

Okay, so I still wouldn't actually believe, but I would find the ritual very soothing?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-07-19 05:55 pm UTC

[info]joye
2007-07-19 06:19 pm UTC (link)
[Thoughts on Catholicism]

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-07-20 04:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-07-21 03:52 am UTC

[info]ashes
2007-07-21 11:03 pm UTC (link)
If mass involved more Flying Spaghetti Monsters, I think I'd actually get out of bed in the morning to go.

(Nah, I didn't read the wank; I'm not up-to-snuff enough to get it.)

(Reply to this)


[info]rachel_pi
2007-07-22 02:46 am UTC (link)
MSNBC has had all kinds of fun anti-Catholic wank lately, too. I especially loved the guy who said that the Pope would learn to understand the truth if he just read the KJV. XD

(And the Latin is shiny, but I have to say, I didn't really enjoy the Tridentine Mass I went to all that much. I don't have a missal and the priest celebrating it was a serious mumbler.)

(Reply to this)


 
   
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