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snarkivist ([info]snarkivist) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-07-18 20:20:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
What's Latin for "wank"?
I guess you could say that this is from the Jesus fandom. One of the two recent pieces of news out of the Vatican that pissed off most of the planet was that individual priests will be free to celebrate the Tridentine Mass whenever they damn well please. The Tridentine Mass is the Latin service used worldwide by all Catholics from the 16th century until about 1970. The structure of the service itself is different, not just what language it's celebrated in.

(Full disclosure: Yes, I am one of those whackjobs who attends this kind of Mass.)

Well, this has caused such global waves of wank in the press and on the Internets that the entire planet is red and sore by now. I have many examples, but my favorite so far has got to be this innocent-looking article from Indianapolis. All would have been well...if this paper didn't have forums attached to every article.

"A dead language for a dead god. How appropriate," one commenter said oh-so-cleverly. And...they're off! Catholics aren't Christians! Protestants don't understand history! Anyone who believes in God is a fucking moron! Pedophile priests!  FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!!11

I'd pick out highlights, but really...there's too much here.





(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]snacky
2007-07-19 12:58 am UTC (link)
I never understand the "Catholics aren't Christians" bit. "Vatican says: pedos are a-okay!" I get that part, but how are Catholics *not* Christian? Isn't believing in Christ the only requirement?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]pokecheck
2007-07-19 01:00 am UTC (link)
Isn't believing in Christ the only requirement?

I thought it was a special secret handshake.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]snacky
2007-07-19 01:24 am UTC (link)
Well, Catholics do shake hands at Mass!

You figured us out. :(

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]pokecheck
2007-07-19 01:56 am UTC (link)
Yahtzee!

Do I get a prize? Like, um, one of those Pope hats? I think those are neat.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]doc_lydgate
2007-07-21 03:17 am UTC (link)
Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system modern language down?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]limyaael
2007-07-19 01:02 am UTC (link)
The nutjob Protestants I've talked to believe Catholics worship the Virgin Mary, not Jesus or God. Or above Jesus and God.

So they call them pagans and goddess-worshippers. I call them weirdos.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]snacky
2007-07-19 01:24 am UTC (link)
It's all the "Hail Mary"'s fault!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2007-07-19 04:29 am UTC (link)
But not our fault they don't get the dulia/hyperdulia/latria distinction. /know-it-all-mode

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]rimrunner
2007-07-19 04:38 am UTC (link)
Speaking as a pagan and goddess-worshiper who used to be Catholic, I have to say that about the only thing the two have in common is a fondness for ceremony.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 05:38 am UTC

[info]riah_chan
2007-07-19 01:07 am UTC (link)
That's some mighty good earth-type logic you got going there...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]snacky
2007-07-19 01:25 am UTC (link)
I always forget to check that when I get online.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]snarkivist
2007-07-19 01:11 am UTC (link)
Basic Protestant issues with Catholicism:

- Catholics follow traditions other than what's in the Bible
- Eating Jesus is freaky
- Catholics believe that whether or not you're saved depends on how you behave, instead of just calling yourself a Christian

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]utahraptor
2007-07-19 01:26 am UTC (link)
Catholics believe that whether or not you're saved depends on how you behave, instead of just calling yourself a Christian

Not necesserily...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 02:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]utahraptor, 2007-07-19 02:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:31 am UTC

[info]snacky
2007-07-19 01:27 am UTC (link)
But still! Believing in Christ! Very important.

Silly Protestants.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-07-19 01:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]squeakytoy, 2007-07-19 02:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mochibuni, 2007-07-19 01:55 am UTC

[info]doomsday
2007-07-19 01:28 am UTC (link)
Eating Jesus is delicious! As an ex-Catholic, it's the thing I miss most.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-07-19 02:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magnolia_mama, 2007-07-19 03:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2007-07-19 03:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2007-07-19 04:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sharps, 2007-07-19 09:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]octavia, 2007-07-19 09:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2007-07-19 01:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]blue_penguin, 2007-07-19 04:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2007-07-19 01:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vergilsparda, 2007-07-19 01:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2007-07-19 01:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-07-19 05:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]drhenryjekyll, 2007-07-20 03:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-07-20 04:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doc_lydgate, 2007-07-21 03:22 am UTC

[info]vigilanterodent
2007-07-19 01:32 am UTC (link)
Eating Jesus is the primary reason I kind of wish I was a Catholic. Well, and the cooler history. And the saints.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magnolia_mama, 2007-07-19 03:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thecheese, 2007-07-19 08:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vigilanterodent, 2007-07-19 04:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2007-07-21 02:06 pm UTC

[info]wrongly_amused
2007-07-19 01:49 am UTC (link)
Ah, man, the transubstantiation v.s. consubstantiation debates are a thing of beauty when they really get revved up.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2007-07-19 01:25 pm UTC

[info]warrioreowyn
2007-07-19 02:29 am UTC (link)
Catholics believe that whether or not you're saved depends on how you behave, instead of just calling yourself a Christian.

So do Anabaptists. At least the kind I know/am.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-07-19 01:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lizzypaul, 2007-07-19 05:37 am UTC

[info]warrioreowyn
2007-07-19 02:31 am UTC (link)
And of course there's the fact that your Pope says we're all a load of heretics.

On the bright side, you invented liberation theology. (Which, unless I'm mistaken, the Pope also doesn't like, but too bad for him.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]saralina25, 2007-07-19 02:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 03:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2007-07-19 04:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 05:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 05:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-19 05:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 06:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]warrioreowyn, 2007-07-21 01:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]snarkivist, 2007-07-21 06:13 am UTC

pastri_archy
2007-07-19 05:44 pm UTC (link)
I've done communion for as long as I could remember. *non-denom*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]waltraute
2007-07-19 01:16 am UTC (link)
And then the Catholics have the "one true holy apostolic church" thing going on, which makes for the funniest arguments with the Orthodox, not to mention various Protestant heretics...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]pet
2007-07-19 01:06 pm UTC (link)
I'm Orthodox, and I'm sitting back watching this thing, going o.O a lot. *grin*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]grrliz
2007-07-19 01:27 am UTC (link)
LMFAO I was raised Catholic (now I'm relapsed and agnostic!), but never identified as Christian. Any non-Catholic Christians I've ever met always identified as Christian first and foremost and then whatever specific denomination they were afterwards, whereas all the Catholics I've ever known have always identified as Catholic right off the bat, followed by a "Oh wait, yeah, I guess we're Christian too" revelation. [/vague personal anecdote]

*brings out sacrilegious icon for good measure*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]danceswithelvis
2007-07-19 03:48 am UTC (link)
Thanks...I've been having trouble with that myself.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dragonfangirl
2007-07-19 09:50 am UTC (link)
Isn't believing in Christ the only requirement?

Even that gets argument...

(Reply to this)(Parent)

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