What's Latin for "wank"?
I guess you could say that this is from the Jesus fandom. One of the two recent pieces of news out of the Vatican that pissed off most of the planet was that individual priests will be free to celebrate the Tridentine Mass whenever they damn well please. The Tridentine Mass is the Latin service used worldwide by all Catholics from the 16th century until about 1970. The structure of the service itself is different, not just what language it's celebrated in.

(Full disclosure: Yes, I am one of those whackjobs who attends this kind of Mass.)

Well, this has caused such global waves of wank in the press and on the Internets that the entire planet is red and sore by now. I have many examples, but my favorite so far has got to be this innocent-looking article from Indianapolis. All would have been well...if this paper didn't have forums attached to every article.

"A dead language for a dead god. How appropriate," one commenter said oh-so-cleverly. And...they're off! Catholics aren't Christians! Protestants don't understand history! Anyone who believes in God is a fucking moron! Pedophile priests! FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!!11

I'd pick out highlights, but really...there's too much here.

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	luthe 2007-07-19 02:57 am UTC (link)
	Really? I always found that Jesus tasted a lot like cardboard... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	snarkivist 2007-07-19 03:37 am UTC (link)
	Sodium-free Saltines, really. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	magnolia_mama 2007-07-19 03:48 am UTC (link)
	Wax paper, for me. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	doomsday 2007-07-19 03:50 am UTC (link)
	Mmm, stale wafery goodness! I also like flat pop, overcooked lima beans, and cold spaghetti sauce sandwiches on white bread, so my palate isn't entirely reliable. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	brown_betty 2007-07-19 04:03 am UTC (link)
	Try Jesus with a good Mexican style hot sauce. Deeelicious. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sharps 2007-07-19 09:21 am UTC (link)
	I was brought up Catholic. (My mother keeps on telling me Jesus is fixing my MacBook.) I attended my first C of E mass at the age of 17. I was astounded and gratified to find out they used PROPER BREAD. Do Catholics just like self-flagellation at every turn? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	octavia 2007-07-19 09:30 am UTC (link)
	So did I, until I got to dip him when I was older. Mmm. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	magic_lilybean 2007-07-19 01:20 pm UTC (link)
	I always thought they tasted like rice cakes, though less bumpy of course. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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