What's Latin for "wank"?
I guess you could say that this is from the Jesus fandom. One of the two recent pieces of news out of the Vatican that pissed off most of the planet was that individual priests will be free to celebrate the Tridentine Mass whenever they damn well please. The Tridentine Mass is the Latin service used worldwide by all Catholics from the 16th century until about 1970. The structure of the service itself is different, not just what language it's celebrated in.

(Full disclosure: Yes, I am one of those whackjobs who attends this kind of Mass.)

Well, this has caused such global waves of wank in the press and on the Internets that the entire planet is red and sore by now. I have many examples, but my favorite so far has got to be this innocent-looking article from Indianapolis. All would have been well...if this paper didn't have forums attached to every article.

"A dead language for a dead god. How appropriate," one commenter said oh-so-cleverly. And...they're off! Catholics aren't Christians! Protestants don't understand history! Anyone who believes in God is a fucking moron! Pedophile priests! FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!!11

I'd pick out highlights, but really...there's too much here.

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	snarkivist 2007-07-19 03:33 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, it used to be required in Catholic schools and in seminaries (obviously) but not so much anymore. The Pope has said that he wants ordinary people to at least memorize some prayers in Latin. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sashenka 2007-07-19 03:57 am UTC (link)
	That's kind of understandable. I, at some point, knew the Lord's Prayer in Latin and I don't speak it and I'm Jewish, so it's not so much to expect a few short prayers, especially if they learn it phonetically, which a lot of secular choral singers have to do and which is why I had to. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	blue_penguin 2007-07-19 04:14 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, thanks to choral singing, I know the Hail Mary in Latin even though I'm not Catholic and haven't the first idea what it means. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sashenka 2007-07-19 04:21 am UTC (link)
	I actually know the Lord's Prayer in English, too, but only because of this German Goth Techno band that does nifty choral-techno XD. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	blue_penguin 2007-07-19 04:22 am UTC (link)
	Choral techno? I'm intrigued. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sashenka 2007-07-19 04:27 am UTC (link)
	They're called E Nomine and although I usually don't care for goth music (other than Voltaire) or techno, they are rather fun and awesome. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	blue_penguin 2007-07-19 04:28 am UTC (link)
	Oh, I've heard of them, but I always just thought of them as some goth band and never bothered listening to any of their stuff. I'll have to try it now. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	bemysty 2007-07-19 09:20 am UTC (link)
	Seldom-known fact: They got the dub voices of Robert de Niro/Dennis Hopper/Harvey Keitel and Patrick Stewart/Robert Redford to recite their lyrics. That alone makes me crack up beyond repair. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ladysorka 2007-07-19 05:19 pm UTC (link)
	...the only thing I know in Latin is Adeste Fideles. And I got that from my Mom, not from either the Catholic elementary school or the Catholic services that I went to when I actually still went to church. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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