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I never said I was a victim of ([info]circumstance) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-07-19 10:11:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Suicidal

It's not rocket surgery.
Msnbc.com has a recurring feature, "Ads of the Weird". This week's column discusses an Australian PSA which implies that men who speed are deficient in the sausage department. (I know, I know, a clever idea that no one ever thought of before!)

The comments are full of everyone's Personal Philosophy of Driving, which (like driving itself) turns wanky and obnoxious immediately:

Or maybe people just like to drive fast and it has nothing to do with being macho or manly. Driving fast doesn't mean you have to drive stupid, and I think it's just as likely that people driving BELOW the speed limit cause an equal number of accidents as SOBER drivers driving ABOVE the speed limit. If you don't like someone driving fast behind you, GET OUT OF THE WAY. Especially if you're in the left lane people c'mon, learn how to drive.

John B


Aaaaand they're off. After wading through a couple pages of this, it's enough to make me want to give up driving forever and dust off my trusty old bicycle, rather than chance sharing the road with some of these people.

(Post a new comment)


[info]barankhy
2007-07-19 02:44 pm UTC (link)
Y hallo thar, reasons why I did not get a driver's licence.

[anecdote time]
It's bad enough that almost all of my friends whose driving service I regularly abuse seem to think that driving like racing lunatics is fun and necessary - and well, in a way, they *are* deficient in the penis department, seeing as how they're all women.
[/anecdote time]

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]feuillu
2007-07-19 04:57 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, sounds like my life.

Actually, most of my friends are fine, it's just the one that drives me around most often thinks it's a good idea to go AS FAST AS POSSIBLE IN THE PARKING LOT. Fercryinoutloud.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2007-07-19 05:12 pm UTC

[info]bemysty
2007-07-19 05:52 pm UTC (link)
Thankfully, I live in a town with excellent public transport, but man, my parents... my father actually drives fairly consistently and good, of sorts, but tends to scream like a lunatic and bash the steering wheel if something doesn't work like he wants it to and my mother speeds like she's got a death wish and wants to take as many people with her as possible.

No wonder I'm kinda reluctant to get my own license, with that sort of genetics.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2007-07-19 06:35 pm UTC

[info]oar
2007-07-19 06:51 pm UTC (link)
See, that sort of situation just made me even more eager to get my own liscence so that I would be able transport myself in a way that didn't turn my car into a racing death trap.

Friend that I used to ride to school with taking ninety degree turns at 40 mph in the dead of winter with ice patches on the road every few feet = HAY I THINK ITS TIME I GOT MY OWN CAR NOW LOL THX

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2007-07-19 07:08 pm UTC

[info]spawn_of_kong
2007-07-19 03:10 pm UTC (link)
*stands on my favorite soapbox*

Dear fellow drivers,

I'm sorry that you're forced to keep inches behind me, no matter how fast you'd like to go. Excuse me for trying to stay exactly at the various speed limits. I mean, it's not like they're there for a reason or anything like that. Then again, maybe you secretly desire a ticket after all; I dunno.

*gets down; wipes up*

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]queencallipygos
2007-07-19 04:09 pm UTC (link)
Dear fellow drivers, I'm sorry that you're forced to keep inches behind me, no matter how fast you'd like to go....

Presenting: another true story from the life of [info]queencallipygos.

I was driving on a road in California -- a two-lane highway somewhere around Fresno -- and was going kind of slow. There was traffic in both lanes. After a while, I spotted something in the rearview mirror -- two women, in a convertible, angrily tailgating me and waving and mouthing at me angrily to "move out of the fuckin' way!"

So, I pulled over to let them get ahead of me -- and so then they ended up stuck behind the pickup truck full of chickens that was the whole reason I was even going slow in the first place.

I happily pulled back into the line of traffic further behind them, imagining them in their little convertible getting big mouthfuls o' feathers.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-19 06:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-07-19 06:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-19 06:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]perletwo, 2007-07-20 02:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-20 02:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-07-20 03:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2007-07-26 12:57 pm UTC

[info]soupspooks
2007-07-19 03:16 pm UTC (link)
Driving terrifies me, I won't lie. However, I was told something very valuable by Red's mother: It is more dangerous to go the speed limit and be slower than everyone else than speed to keep up with traffic. Of course, she said this while driving 120 km/h on the highway to Montreal while my stomach sat in my throat and I was doing the "I hate cars" chant in my head.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]kadath
2007-07-19 03:19 pm UTC (link)
*quick mental math* That's not even 75! I usually cruise at around 80 and get passed like I'm standing still. This may have something to do with living in Massachusetts.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]soupspooks, 2007-07-19 03:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 03:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]waltraute, 2007-07-19 04:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2007-07-19 06:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]waltraute, 2007-07-20 03:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cat_mcdougall, 2007-07-19 03:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oar, 2007-07-19 06:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cat_mcdougall, 2007-07-19 07:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-07-22 02:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dark_puck, 2007-07-19 03:57 pm UTC

[info]frequentmouse
2007-07-19 06:25 pm UTC (link)
Helpful hint: stay out of Montana. Really. You won't like it, especially going down the east side of the Bitterroots into Missoula, where people tend to break the sound barrier.

The good thing is: not many people in Montana, so it's less terrifying than, say, the M-4 on a Sunday afternoon or I-5 in the Central Valley of California.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]circumstance, 2007-07-19 07:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2007-07-20 06:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2007-07-20 03:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2007-07-20 06:34 pm UTC

[info]aposiopetic
2007-07-19 11:05 pm UTC (link)
What I always thought was funny was that both I and my ex-boyfriend live in tiny, rural towns surrounded by county highways. Around my home in New York, the fastest you'd find most people going was 65 mph, tops, whereas the drivers near his home in Southern Ontario went at least 110 km/h whenever possible.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]eilan
2007-07-19 03:35 pm UTC (link)
I thought I would mention that speeding is NOT was kills people. Idiot drivers that don't know how to drive kill people. Just look at the Autobahn for an example. They have far fewer deaths per mile of road then we do here in the US and people drive at over 200mph.

Up until that 200 mph, the guy had a very small point. Small, but there.

Then it became obvious he can't even do basic Maths.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]alya1989262
2007-07-19 03:38 pm UTC (link)
Isn't 200 mph something akin to 300 km/h?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 03:41 pm UTC

[info]doomsday
2007-07-19 04:35 pm UTC (link)
people drive at over 200mph

So in Germany, cars have no governors? Okay!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]pet, 2007-07-19 07:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-20 07:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 08:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aposiopetic, 2007-07-19 10:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-20 07:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2007-07-26 04:02 pm UTC

[info]alya1989262
2007-07-19 03:37 pm UTC (link)
Thank you, speedy Americans. Your fast livin' gasoline habits have funded many IEDs for our use in battling the infidel occupiers.

Each time you "let all 400 horsepower pin you to the back of the seat", the extra shot of gasoline you've consumed for the "cheap" thrill has done its own small part to fund the nuclear ambitions of our Persian cousins.

Laissez faire, speedy Americans. Every man for himself. Enjoy.

Priceless. XD

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 03:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2007-07-19 03:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2007-07-19 03:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]zyna_kat, 2007-07-19 03:49 pm UTC

[info]snowden
2007-07-19 04:29 pm UTC (link)
This reminds of a PSA put out by my local police station wherein two montonous young policewomen reviewed with the populace the basics of stoplights: green means go, yellow means caution (or go, depending on your point of view), and red, get this, means stop.

The commercial truly changed my life.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]circumstance, 2007-07-19 04:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-07-19 04:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrongly_amused, 2007-07-19 04:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-19 05:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]circumstance, 2007-07-19 05:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-19 06:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]llama_treats, 2007-07-19 04:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-19 05:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]athersgeo, 2007-07-19 05:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-19 05:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2007-07-20 03:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-20 05:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2007-07-20 05:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-20 05:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2007-07-26 04:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luthe, 2007-07-23 05:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-23 05:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2007-07-26 04:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-26 11:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachel_pi, 2007-07-22 02:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2007-07-20 03:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2007-07-26 04:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-07-20 06:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]oxydosic, 2007-07-22 12:02 am UTC

[info]miome
2007-07-19 04:55 pm UTC (link)
Obviously, it's all those other horrible drivers creating the problem, not me! I have magical driving powers!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2007-07-19 05:25 pm UTC

[info]smo
2007-07-19 05:01 pm UTC (link)
Does anyone have a link to a video of the commercial? It sounds lolarious.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]circumstance, 2007-07-19 05:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-19 05:55 pm UTC

[info]ladysorka
2007-07-19 05:26 pm UTC (link)
Anyone who thinks it's actually safer to drive the speed limit has never driven on I-15 between Vegas and LA. If you aren't going 90, you're going to be hit and flattened, I swear to god.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]semtex, 2007-07-19 05:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2007-07-19 06:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-09-02 04:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-07-20 06:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-07-20 12:38 pm UTC

[info]joye
2007-07-19 05:27 pm UTC (link)
After wading through a couple pages of this, it's enough to make me want to give up driving forever and dust off my trusty old bicycle, rather than chance sharing the road with some of these people.
DON'T TALK ABOUT BIKES WITH THESE PEOPLE. You haven't seen wank until you've seen wank between "You're blocking traffic!" and "We ARE traffic!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-19 05:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]black_spot, 2007-07-19 07:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2007-07-19 11:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-19 11:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2007-07-26 04:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-26 11:44 pm UTC

[info]semtex
2007-07-19 05:53 pm UTC (link)
Where I live, drivers use the speed limit signs as a loose guide like so:

35 MPH = 50 MPH
55 MPH = 75 MPH
65 MPH = going less than 75 MPH will get you run off the road.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2007-07-19 06:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2007-07-19 06:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2007-07-26 04:15 pm UTC

[info]hristaesir
2007-07-19 06:09 pm UTC (link)
One of my college roommates would, whenever some guy cut us off or tailgated us or something when we were driving somewhere, announce, "There goes a man with a small penis." It always made me laugh, and laughing at other drivers is, IMO, infinitely preferable to road rage.

(Also I'm from Los Angeles, so I drive like a maniac sort of by default. By LA standards I am gentle as a lamb, driving-wise, but I still had to relearn how to drive when I came to Seattle because I was WAY too aggressive. Turn signal does not equal declaration of war, what?)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]smo, 2007-07-19 06:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2007-07-19 07:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lysana, 2007-07-19 10:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-07-20 06:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]drhenryjekyll, 2007-07-20 03:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2007-07-20 02:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2007-07-26 04:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]waltraute, 2007-07-20 03:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]anonyrat, 2007-07-20 06:58 pm UTC

[info]mydruthers
2007-07-19 06:14 pm UTC (link)
Speed limits - They're more like guidelines, anyway.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]littlebitca, 2007-07-19 10:35 pm UTC

[info]oar
2007-07-19 06:53 pm UTC (link)
Tailgaters should be shot. That is all.

(Reply to this)


[info]warchio
2007-07-19 08:00 pm UTC (link)
So, am I the only one who reads the defensive 'well, they don't know ME' posts and thinks 'So you DO have a little teeny one, then? I mean, you're actually an innie aren't you?'

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]semtex, 2007-07-19 08:14 pm UTC

[info]aposiopetic
2007-07-19 11:01 pm UTC (link)
While I agree in that people that stick studiously to speed limits should not travel in the far left lane, I'd much rather that people learn "End of Speed Zone" signs in the US means "It's fifty five, motherfuckers, so let's get the fuck on with it."

[/bitter at people going 40 in a 55 with very few passing opportunities at least three times a week during her commute]

(Reply to this)

  
   
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