Dear fellow drivers, I'm sorry that you're forced to keep inches behind me, no matter how fast you'd like to go....

Presenting: another true story from the life of queencallipygos.

I was driving on a road in California -- a two-lane highway somewhere around Fresno -- and was going kind of slow. There was traffic in both lanes. After a while, I spotted something in the rearview mirror -- two women, in a convertible, angrily tailgating me and waving and mouthing at me angrily to "move out of the fuckin' way!"

So, I pulled over to let them get ahead of me -- and so then they ended up stuck behind the pickup truck full of chickens that was the whole reason I was even going slow in the first place.

I happily pulled back into the line of traffic further behind them, imagining them in their little convertible getting big mouthfuls o' feathers.