(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

wankaholic
2007-09-01 10:48 pm UTC (link)

If they had my suitemate Valarie, maybe.

Controlling, obsessive, and downright scary . . . hated three of the girls out of our suite (myself, her roommate, and another girl), tried to dictate when her roommate could come and go in the room, and was generally insane.

She got hers, though . . . recently heard that she was booted off the lease of the place she was supposed to be staying at this year. The people she was going to live with couldn't stand her. :P

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	grrliz 2007-09-01 10:52 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe she is Valarie! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	wankaholic 2007-09-01 10:53 pm UTC (link)
	Nah. Too coherent. Also not madly claiming to be a lesbian despite wanting to get married to a guy and settle down some day. (Reply to this)(Parent)

hallidae
2007-09-01 11:07 pm UTC (link)

Oh, man, roommate horror story time.

Our first year at college, one of my buddies wound up rooming with this chick named Lydia. Oh, the stories I could tell about Lydia. But I'll keep it short as I can. She was the epitome of the stereotype of spoiled brat youngest child. She was ultra-fundamentalist (drove away one of our friends because he was gay, another because he was adopted). She had to be included in everything, and whined when she wasn't. She insisted on controlling everything my friend did, from when she was allowed to go out (always bringing her along) with us, to what she could eat.

And the worst thing of all: She had the cleaning skills and personal hygiene of a dead rat. I shit you not, she took one shower in a ten week quarter. You couldn't stand downwind of her, and whenever she invited herself somewhere, we had to have all the car windows open and spray it down once she was gone. And, the height of nasty... she gave us all fleas.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

limyaael
2007-09-01 11:58 pm UTC (link)

Ick. I knew someone who did that (gave her roommate fleas, I mean, not the other parts).

That was the point at which her roommate, who was in a sorority, got two of her sisters to help her frog-march the dirty one to the bathroom and force her to take a shower, in cold water. That must have been one of the weirdest "Help your freshman sisters out!" task that any of the older girls on our campus had. That year, anyway.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	photosinensis 2007-09-04 05:08 am UTC (link)
	I know a guy who was literally locked in his bathroom by his roommate, his suitemates, and the RA and they wouldn't let him out until he at least showered. It was at that point that he learned the importance of hygiene. Other than his fear of haircuts and shaving razors, he's fine now. I've even been told that he's learned to do his own laundry. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	kahrohseh 2007-09-02 12:05 am UTC (link)
	Wow. I was about to share my roommate horror story (she had a toilet brush holder with "princess" on it and made her mom do her part of the cleaning prior to move-out) but I just can't beat fleas. Please tell me something horrible happened to her? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

hallidae
2007-09-02 12:13 am UTC (link)

Well, we finally couldn't take her anymore, and at the beginning of the next quarter, my buddy decided to move in with me (my roommate and I had our own problems, mostly due to her habit of leaving acrylic paint in the sink, ordering me around, and playing her death metal music at four in the morning, and we split). Lydia stalked her for two months after that, trying to figure out which room we were in (different residence hall than the one she and my friend had lived in) and threatened me. We both moved into apartments at the end of the year to escape. Last I heard, she'd scared off eight more roomies in the course of a year before bombing out of college.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

kahrohseh, 2007-09-02 10:15 am UTC

littlest_lurker
2007-09-02 01:10 am UTC (link)

...good lord. Is there some sort of charm/ceremony I can do to prevent someone like that from moving into my apartment? (My roommate hasn't shown up yet)

I've been really lucky in the roommate department, in comparison. The worst I've had to deal with has been a flatmate that would always play the same damn Dane Cook CD whenever she had company over at like two AM and a roommate who would sometimes make these loud sucking noises in her sleep.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

cleolinda
2007-09-02 01:47 am UTC (link)

I can beat fleas. I lived with a literal crack whore (she slept with her dealer for discounts). Did coke off a table in the common room. Off the back of a license plate. Left open bottles of Summer's Eve in our shower and her dirty underwear in the common room. Went into coke-fueled screaming rages when we tried to leave various items of her property at her door. One time, Roommate #2 woke up to a strange boy in his underwear brushing his teeth one morning, and one night she brought home two boys from a dry county... and left me to entertain them. Also, she set the dorm building on fire.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	vigilanterodent 2007-09-02 02:37 am UTC (link)
	. . . . . . . . . People live such exciting lives. I AM GLAD I DON'T. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

cleolinda, 2007-09-02 02:40 am UTC

(no subject) -

fionnabhair, 2007-09-03 05:00 pm UTC

	white_serpent 2007-09-02 04:19 am UTC (link)
	Also, she set the dorm building on fire. I like the way this reads as an afterthought. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

miraba, 2007-09-02 04:22 am UTC

(no subject) -

cleolinda, 2007-09-02 04:32 am UTC

	vasaris 2007-09-02 04:35 am UTC (link)
	For some reason that just beats the hell out of voodoo dolls and flaming bowling balls O.o (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2007-09-02 05:38 am UTC (link)
	O_O (Reply to this)(Parent)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-09-02 05:41 am UTC

(no subject) -

papervolcano, 2007-09-02 01:46 pm UTC

(no subject) -

esclaramonde, 2007-09-02 03:03 pm UTC

(no subject) -

photosinensis, 2007-09-04 05:13 am UTC

(no subject) -

moriath, 2007-09-04 07:56 pm UTC

	issendai 2007-09-02 03:17 am UTC (link)
	drove away one of our friends because he was gay, another because he was adopted zjfnpaw0 e9rth we9rui WHY? What on earth did she have against adopted people? I get the gay thing--it's in the Bible. But where in Hell does the Bible say, "Thou shalt not adopt"? Am I missing some important bit of Leviticus buried deep in the section about poly-cotton blends? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

hallidae, 2007-09-02 03:23 am UTC

(no subject) -

msmongi, 2007-09-02 06:18 am UTC

(no subject) -

edelweiss, 2007-09-03 05:43 am UTC

(no subject) -

vigilanterodent, 2007-09-04 03:36 pm UTC

(no subject) -

edelweiss, 2007-09-04 03:56 pm UTC

(no subject) -

vigilanterodent, 2007-09-04 05:02 pm UTC

	lyppy 2007-09-02 04:49 am UTC (link)
	Erm...I dunno if I could beat that. But my friend's ex-roommate used to masturbate to James Bond movies...that he watched on my friend's computer. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

demonbean, 2007-09-03 02:51 am UTC

	dragonfangirl 2007-09-02 12:54 pm UTC (link)
	...I didn't realize being adopted was against the Bible. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	pokecheck 2007-09-02 02:00 pm UTC (link)
	That...that...that kinda sounds like Meerkat Manor. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

hallidae, 2007-09-02 03:03 pm UTC

doomsday
2007-09-02 06:50 pm UTC (link)

Wow, Lydia sounds sort of like a combination of all three of my roommates: #1 was super bratty, whiny, and controlling. She was also the stupidest person I've ever met in my life--she had no idea what a grapefruit was despite being born and raised in Hollywood, she wanted to be a vet because "cats and dogs are cute, especially cats" (that's a direct quote from an essay she wrote for her English class), she thought you kept cheddar cheese in the freezer, and she didn't know she was Asian until I explained to her that Burma wasn't in England. She once scraped her knee and spent all day in bed, on the phone to her mother, crying about it. Luckily she moved out after a couple months when she came to the realization that all of her suitemates hated her.

#2 was a total fundie (she slept with a pocket Bible clutched in her hands) who left her nasty dirty underwear all over the common areas. She had super long, scraggly hair that I don't think she'd ever cut and I'm positive she never brushed. And she went to bed at about 8 every night and got angry because I stayed up until 12 or 1 *gasp*. She was weird.

#3 was very nice, but she only washed her hair about once a week, which was pretty unbearable in 100-degree weather. I used to hold my breath as I opened the door and the wave of hot, fetid air rushed past. Glade's profits probably went up 30% that year. Once she brought home this disgusting fish casserole (I have no idea where she even got it) and ate it in the room every night for a week. That + the hair = the most revolting stench I've ever encountered. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-09-02 07:22 pm UTC

(no subject) -

shadowkitty, 2007-09-02 07:26 pm UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-09-02 10:34 pm UTC

(no subject) -

shadowkitty, 2007-09-02 11:19 pm UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-09-03 12:19 pm UTC

(no subject) -

nine_spiral, 2007-09-02 08:55 pm UTC

(no subject) -

doomsday, 2007-09-02 09:36 pm UTC

(no subject) -

nine_spiral, 2007-09-02 10:21 pm UTC

(no subject) -

pfeffermuse, 2007-09-05 03:44 am UTC

	anonyrat 2007-09-05 12:17 am UTC (link)
	All of these beat my maggot story by a long shot. Damn. (Reply to this)(Parent)

aposiopetic
2007-09-02 01:57 am UTC (link)

My junior year of university I had a really crapping housing lottery number, so I made the joke that I was going to have to live in a cardboard box in Chapels' Field. I mentioned it in passing to a girl I was acquaintances with in organic chemistry (which was a big 120 person class) and she says that I can live with her. "Score :D," I think, because really, how bad can it be when you have your own room? So we manage to get a two person no common room suite, where there are two bedrooms separated by an eight foot hallway that doubles as the kitchen with the bathroom off the kitchen and between the bedrooms. There is a second suite that's a mirror image of the first, and the two share the bedroom-bathroom-bedroom wall.

Junior year begins and life is fine. Jen and I try and do roomy bonding things, which works decently well. She's pretty busy with the sailing team, so she's not home a lot and that's fine by me, as I like my privacy a lot in general. But then a couple of months in, she proceeds to have these huge screaming fights on her cell phone with her parents at least three times a week. For some of it I felt pretty bad, because it seemed as if they didn't have much faith in her, but holy shit was it loud. She was so loud that the girl who lived on the other side of my bedroom wall could hear her.

So one day I'm talking to my friend about her, and I can't quite remember her last name. "Jen Gold[this], Gold[that], Gold[other]. She's got curly hair and she's co-captain of the sailing team."

He nods. "Oh," he says, "PJ."

"PJ?"

"Yeah, Psycho Jen."

(Reply to this)(Parent)

proserpine75
2007-09-03 03:21 am UTC (link)

So, adding to terrible roommate time...

Last year my friend had a four-room suite and got three girls that completely excluded her and generally acted like bitches toward her. One night, they were drinking and partying in their room while my friend and I were hanging out, so she asked our mutual friend Jessica if she can pick up her room key and lock the door so they don't start trashing her room (as they had done before). Jessica stopped by to pick up the key while the party was in full swing, got into the room but couldn't find the key. Meanwhile, the three girls were glaring at her the entire time.

Jessica finally went to leave and the girls made some very racist comments at her (Jess, our friend, and I are Hispanic), slammed the door behind her, and locked her out. One of them made a loud comment that she could hear through the thick door about "thank god that wetback is out of our room". Jessica immediately whipped out her phone and calls the police to report underage drinking and noise complaints.

Another friend stopped by later to check on the room, but the police were too busy interrogating everyone there. She got ugly looks and muttering too.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

come_love_sleep
2007-09-03 05:04 pm UTC (link)

I've had a horde of really terrible roommates, but one of the worst would have had to be Jen. Jen was nineteen, and had a one-year-old; which would have been no skin off my nose, but that she'd gotten pregnant to try and keep her boyfriend from leaving her, and thus had literally no love for her little girl at all. The boyfriend moved about a hundred miles away after the birth, because the Jen was batshit, so she got to the point where she hated her baby. Kept running nice deep baths, putting the kid in, and leaving the bathroom with the door closed. I went in not expecting it once to see the baby facedown in the water, and had to drag her out before she drowned.

Anyway.
So one night--probably about three AM?--I'm woken from a sound sleep by Jen looming over me. "Genevra, wake up! Wake up, I need your help!" she's grinning and trembling with excitement.
"What, what's wrong?" I think the house must be burning, or maybe she's finally killed her poor kid, but she looks so gleeful.
"I need you to get in the car."
"What?"
"We're driving up to Pine."
"What?"
"We're going to get my boyfriend drunk, and we're going to get him into the car."
"What."
"And we'll bring him back here, and take away his cell phone."
"...what?"
"And I'm not going to let him go home until he falls in love with me again! And I need you to come, because someone needs to watch the baby!"

...Yeah.
Didn't go.
Convinced the girl who was driving not to go, either. Used big words like "Felony," and explained that no, kidnapping is not "okay" just because it's between lovers...
Went back to bed.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	vasaris 2007-09-05 03:19 am UTC (link)
	... ... ... looks around for words can't find any O.O (Reply to this)(Parent)

	plazmah 2007-09-22 08:25 pm UTC (link)
	Oh my. This entire thread makes me feel very lucky. (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Read comments) -