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	eilisliana 2007-09-24 09:41 pm UTC (link)
	I'm going to end up making a cake because of this wank but there is no frosting/icing in the house... recipesplz? (Reply to this)(Thread)

shaggydogstail
2007-09-24 10:10 pm UTC (link)

BUTTER ICING

Ingredients:
Butter (lots)
Icing Sugar (also lots)
Flavouring such as vanilla essence, orange or lemon rind+juice, strong coffee etc (not too much). For chocolate replace some icing sugar with cocoa.
Food colouring (if you are making princess cake and want it pink or similar.)
Warm water (v small splash)

Method:
Cut cold butter into chunks and place in bowl. Imagine bowl contains face of your mortal enemy and beat with wooden spoon until properly creamed. Fold in sifted icing sugar and flavouring, adding drops of water when consistency is such that stirring requires strength of Olympic shot-putter.

Apply to cake with flat knife or directly to mouth with spoon. Note that work is not complete unless bowl has been licked.

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	fresco_le_raye 2007-09-24 10:21 pm UTC (link)
	If you are a ~~lazy~~ happy and fortunate individual with no mortal enemies, then a food processor can be helpful. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	shaggydogstail 2007-09-24 10:31 pm UTC (link)
	We all need to build up the muscles in our mixing/baseball bat-wielding arm - you may laugh now, but you'll be glad of the upper body strength when the zombie apocalypse comes. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	fresco_le_raye 2007-09-24 10:48 pm UTC (link)
	I live in daily dread of the zombie apocalyse coming before I've had a chance to get into shape by way of calorie-dense cake toppings! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

shaggydogstail, 2007-09-24 10:57 pm UTC

	eilisliana 2007-09-25 01:15 am UTC (link)
	That sounds delicious, any type of measurement to go with the recipe? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

tangentialone
2007-09-25 03:17 am UTC (link)

6 tablespoons butter
1 cup powdered sugar
1 tablespoon cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon vanilla or whatever

Alter to taste. (I usually double the amount of cocoa and vanilla, since I like my chocolate darker... I also usually use softened-by-leaving-out butter and just refrigerate the frosting afterwards, but this may be a small heresy. I've never used water in it, either--the amount vanilla seems to be sufficient to help smooth the sugar in and make it blend in easier.

shaggydogstail might use proportionally more sugar, though.)

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	I deleted on accident. :( puipui 2007-09-25 04:44 am UTC (link)
	I'm a heretic; I also warm my butter a bit, sometimes even in the microwave (don't let it melt, though! melting is bad!) and I use milk instead of water to get to the right consistency. I totally agree with her about the zombies, though. That's very important advice she's giving up there. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: I deleted on accident. :( -

tangentialone, 2007-09-25 06:52 am UTC

castalianspring
2007-09-25 12:39 am UTC (link)

This has nothing to do with butter icing, but it's still a damn good recipe.

BLACKBERRY WINE CAKE

1 box Duncan Hines white cake mix
½ cup oil (can substitute 1/3 cup applesauce for healthier version)
½ cup chopped pecans (optional)
1 small blackberry Jello mix (Royal Gelatin brand)
4 eggs
1 cup blackberry wine

Put chopped nuts in bottom of greased and floured bundt pan. Mix remaining ingredients well, pour in pan and bake at 325 deg. F for 45 - 50 minutes or until well done.

Glaze
½ box powdered/confectionary/icing sugar
blackberry wine

Put sugar in a bowl and slowly add wine until consistency is suitable for glaze. (Note: This will not take a lot of wine, so ignore recipes that tell you to use another half a cup of wine. You want something more like a paste than a liquid, or else it'll just run everywhere and you'll have a pool of icing around the cake instead of on top). When cake is done pour ½ of this over it. Punch small holes in top of cake. Let sit for about 30 minutes. Remove cake from pan. Pour remaining glaze over it. If you're pressed for time, just pour the whole lot on top and let it sit for a few minutes, just as good.

This makes a very sweet cake. You can make it without the nuts on top, but IMO the nuts really balance out the sweetness and make for a better cake. You should get a bright purple-pink result and a firm but moist consistency.

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	quartz 2007-09-25 03:23 am UTC (link)
	I have no blackberry wine, but I do have pineapple wine! Mmm... pineapple wine cake... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	castalianspring 2007-09-25 03:47 am UTC (link)
	...I did not know there was such a thing as pineapple wine. I need to try this variation as soon as humanly possible. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

quartz
2007-09-25 04:09 am UTC (link)

There's also mango and guava wines! Put some of those into a BBQ marinade and people weep with joy. Honey mead/wine is also excellent for cooking and baking, if one can find it. The only problems I've found with the non-grape wines is that they must be used within a week of opening, otherwise they just don't taste right anymore.

There's a wine for every fruit, though how people can drink some of them is beyond me... *shudders at the knowledge that durian wine exists*

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(no subject) -

castalianspring, 2007-09-25 04:55 am UTC

castalianspring
2007-10-05 02:47 am UTC (link)

...okay, much searching in my locality has turned up zero pineapple wine. None of the vendors had ever heard of it and one tried to give me a lecture on what is and isn't a wine (sigh, a vendor should know about fruit/country wines, damn it all). Might I ask where you obtained this mythical nectar, perhaps what the name of it is? I want to make this cake now and am being thwarted.

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quartz
2007-10-05 05:37 am UTC (link)

http://www.pasekcellars.com/scripts/wineList.cfm

Have drool rags handy when you click that link. They don't make normal wines! :D The state liquor stores in Washington sell it whenever they can get cases and that's where I got mine. Their blackberry is wonderful, but now my goal is to get ahold of some of the cranberry and see if I can't make cranberry wine jelly out of it.

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	puipui 2007-09-25 04:46 am UTC (link)
	OMG that sounds so good. drools (Reply to this)(Parent)

tephra
2007-09-25 02:07 am UTC (link)

My apologies for my somewhat abbreviated recipe instructions, they're converted from my personal shorthand.

Deep Dark Chocolate Cake

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Grease and flour (or use cocoa powder) 1 13x9x2" pan
or 2 9" cake pans.

2 cups sugar
1 3/4 cups flour
3/4 cup cocoa
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup oil
2 tsp vanilla
1 cup boiling water

Blend together dry ingredients.
Add eggs, milk, oil, and vanilla; beat 2 minutes.
Add boiling water and stir just to mix.
Pour into prepared pans and bake 35 minutes.
Cake is done when toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

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tephra
2007-09-25 02:09 am UTC (link)

And frostings:

Coconut Frosting

The original version of this recipe was originally from the Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book (published around 1962). I've altered it to use sweetened condensed milk (since I usually have that on hand and not evaporated) and swapped the pecans for hazelnuts.

This recipe makes enough frosting for one 13X9X2" rectangular or two 9" round cakes.

14 ounce can sweetened condensed milk (or one can evaporated milk and 1 1/3 cups sugar)
1/2 cup butter
2 eggs, slightly beaten
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 2/3 cups flaked coconut
1 cup chopped hazelnuts (or pecans)

In a heavy saucepan or double boiler, combine milk, butter, and eggs. Cook over medium low heat, stirring constantly, until bubbling and thickened; about 12 minutes. Cool slightly. Blend in vanilla, coconut, and nuts. Cool to room temperature before using.

Creamy Peanut Butter Frosting

1 cup butter (softened to room temperature)
1 cup creamy peanut butter
4 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup milk
2 teaspoons vanilla

1. Cream butter and peanut butter together.
2. Add half the powdered sugar and blend.
3. Blend in milk and vanilla.
4. Add remaining powdered sugar.
5. Stir until smooth and well blended.

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	OM nom nom nom tangentialone 2007-09-25 03:18 am UTC (link)
	takes notes (Reply to this)(Parent)

	viola_dreamwalk 2007-09-26 03:51 am UTC (link)
	The peanut butter frosting is made of win. I'm totally trying that out. Thank you! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tephra 2007-09-26 03:56 am UTC (link)
	It's really good on the chocolate cake. :9 (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Anonymous)
2007-09-25 02:33 am UTC (link)

If you don't want to go to the trouble of beating butter for frosting, you can do Australian style icing - 2 cups of icing sugar, about 1 and a half ounces of melted butter (or 40 grams if you're metric like me), and some warm water added a little at a time until you get the consistency you want. It's dead easy! Also you can add whatever flavourings and colours you desire.

Steps:
1. Put icing sugar into bowl.
2. Melt butter in microwave.
3. Pour butter into icing sugar in a couple of stages, mixing as you go.
4. When all the butter is added, start adding the water, a little at a time (think spoonfuls). Icing sugar has a tendency to go from 'omg dry!' to 'omg liquid!' quite quickly; if this does happen, just add more icing sugar.

Colouring:
-After adding the water, use a skewer to add one or two drops of food colouring to your icing. Mix in well before deciding whether or not to add more.

Flavouring:
- If you want chocolate icing, substitute and sift in some cocoa powder with the icing sugar. (Maybe a tablespoon full?)
- If you want lemon flavoured, add some lemon juice midway through the water.
- You can also add various essences - vanilla, rose, peppermint, whatever - in the same way you'd add the lemon juice.

Mmm, tasty!

-delurker

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	puipui 2007-09-25 04:42 am UTC (link)
	Ooooh, that sounds good, too. I love this wank so much! loves (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2007-09-25 01:15 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you for starting this subthread! Best ever. I am so bookmarking this page. (Reply to this)(Parent)

Mmm. Cake.

viola_dreamwalk
2007-09-26 03:47 am UTC (link)

Yellow Sheet Cake with Chocolate-Cream Cheese Frosting: http://www.blueplatebachelor.com/2005/05/17/yellow-sheet-cake-with-chocolate-frosting/

White Chocolate-Guava Cake with Roasted Banana Cream: http://www.blueplatebachelor.com/2005/01/09/white-chocolate-guava-cake-with-roasted-banana-cream/

Ultimate Birthday Cake (The topping is a very rich chocolate-raspberry ganache): http://www.blueplatebachelor.com/2004/07/18/ultimate-birthday-cake/

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	jedilora 2007-09-26 07:50 pm UTC (link)
	Alton Brown sez: MAKE CAKE. ALSO BUTTERCREAM. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Zzc9ZnJtHas http://youtube.com/watch?v=02dsBr0iyCQ http://youtube.com/watch?v=pugRSCjMe0s http://youtube.com/watch?v=PUwtvz4Ft_c (Reply to this)(Parent)

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