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	white_serpent 2007-10-10 09:51 pm UTC (link)
	High school physics teacher: convinced of the existence of government conspiracies hiding the aliens among us (they like strawberry ice cream, if you were wondering). We saw exciting footage of the alien attacks on the White House! He was still better than the football and basketball coaches who taught history. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	phosfate 2007-10-10 09:55 pm UTC (link)
	I remember strawberry ice cream alien! I can't remember which particular loon brought him into the lore, but he (loon, not alien) was a big deal in UFO circles for a while straddling 1990. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	phosfate 2007-10-10 09:57 pm UTC (link)
	John Lear! That was it. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

puipui
2007-10-11 07:41 am UTC (link)

I think I am a better person for googling that name. This is some Grade A Prime Crazy, it's glorious. Did you know that alien abductions occur on a daily basis throughout the United States to at least 10% of the population? Also Venus is actually very similar to Earth, and we've had a base on the moon since the 50's, and aliens killed Kennedy and... um... something about Jackie Gleason, I think, I'm not quite sure how that fit in there. Beautiful!

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issendai
2007-10-10 10:01 pm UTC (link)

Oh god, I had one of those. Our American Government teacher was a retired coach who had a notebook filled with a year's worth of lectures, with blanks for the names of elected officials. He read the book very... slowly... to a class of kids who copied it down word for word, with lots of pauses to let the slow writers catch up. At the end of the quarter, if your notebook exactly matched his, he'd give you an automatic A for one of the tests. I'd come from the gifted/AP track and was horrified, but the rest of the kids loved him.

No alien attacks, no conspiracy theories, no comments on religion, and only as much sexism as you'd expect from a man of his age and time; really, a good spate of ranting about veganism or the Illuminati would have spiced things up. I can see how your physics teacher would have been an improvement.

Why strawberry ice cream?

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white_serpent
2007-10-10 10:20 pm UTC (link)

It turns out that all historical and mythological figures had names that would be great names for hunting dogs! This always deserved a mention.

Also, the American government is exactly like basketball in so many ways!

if your notebook exactly matched his, he'd give you an automatic A for one of the tests.

You win.

Why strawberry ice cream?

They just do! All real humans hate it! It's a sign!

~~No, seriously, I can't remember. It was more than fifteen years ago.~~

I seem to recall that "odd events" were also signs of conspiracy-- someone from his high school being stationed at the same remote military outpost he was once upon a time--> aliens among us.

He was actually a pretty decent physics teacher, as long as he didn't get off on one of these tangents.

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	singe 2007-10-11 03:29 am UTC (link)
	All real humans hate it! Oh, god, I love it. And, uh, take me to your leader. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	puipui 2007-10-11 07:44 am UTC (link)
	Strawberry milkshakes are my favorite. Or maybe banana. Mmmmm... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	singe 2007-10-11 12:50 pm UTC (link)
	I need to buy a ice cream maker and I mean yesterday. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	blue_penguin 2007-10-11 09:44 pm UTC (link)
	So do I! I'm still waiting for my nifty alien powers to manifest, though. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	singe 2007-10-12 12:14 am UTC (link)
	I get cable through my nifty antennae but that's about it. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	blue_penguin 2007-10-12 12:56 am UTC (link)
	That's still more than I can do -- I am sadly cable-less. Ah, well, maybe the antennae will grow in eventually. (Reply to this)(Parent)

mireille
2007-10-11 03:37 am UTC (link)

if your notebook exactly matched his, he'd give you an automatic A for one of the tests

I had a teacher like that. In his defense, he was a long-term sub found at the last minute (my real science teacher quit after one day), and he'd flunked biology in high school. So he got his little sister's notebook she'd used for the class the last year (from a reasonably good teacher) and read it to us.

As long as you had *no questions*, it was fine.

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	ghostmaster 2007-10-11 05:06 am UTC (link)
	My American Government teacher was obsessed with the JKF assassination and made us watch that one film that starts with a Z over and over and over. And he'd always point out at the exact same spot that there couldn't have been just one shooter. And then he'd rewind it over and over until he was satisfied that we all agreed. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2007-10-12 05:58 am UTC (link)
	Zapruder. Yikes. That sounds like a fun-filled class. Sounds like Eddie Izzard's take on mass murderers: "Death, death, death, death, death, lunch, death, death, death, afternoon tea, death death death, quick shower..." --wanderingrogue@lj (Reply to this)(Parent)

	seiberwing 2007-10-10 10:02 pm UTC (link)
	Middle school teacher, showed us tons of stuff on JFK assassination conspiracies. But what did we care, it was time off from actual teaching. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sithwitch13 2007-10-10 11:19 pm UTC (link)
	Hey, I had one that did that too! Did yours then spend time supposed to be spent teaching state history teaching about criminal law instead, then give a crash course on Texas history and tell a joke about Mexicans, too? To be fair, that law thing was freaking awesome. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	seiberwing 2007-10-11 02:37 am UTC (link)
	No, we were mostly videos and learning what the Bay of Pigs was. I hear he later got arrested for having sex with one of his students after I graduated into high school, though. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	chaos_theory 2007-10-11 03:33 pm UTC (link)
	Sounds like you went to my high school. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	seiberwing 2007-10-12 03:41 pm UTC (link)
	Jefferson? Hippy guy with ponytail? (Reply to this)(Parent)

jerel
2007-10-13 04:46 pm UTC (link)

The school where I worked at until last year, we had one teacher dismissed for having sex with a student. One was arrested for taking naked pictures of his student-girlfriend. (She was 17, so they couldn't get him for statutory, but since she was a minor, they counted it as child porn.) And one teacher arrested for a public sex act. It was sad that the administration was grateful that the last arrest involved adults...

Me, I just got fired for asking too many questions and not kissing the principal's ass enough.

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	rosehiptea 2007-10-11 04:32 am UTC (link)
	I had a science teacher in 5th and 6th grades who would tell us gruesome stories from his tour in Vietnam if he though we weren't taking things seriously enough. Not often, and we learned plenty of science, but it was still weird. I heard later he got fired for drugs. (Reply to this)(Parent)

mireille
2007-10-11 03:40 am UTC (link)

He was still better than the football and basketball coaches who taught history.

Four years of social studies in high school. And still, everything I knew about history, I learned from looking up the stuff that happened on Doctor Who. (I flunked a quiz in American Government for refusing to say Richard Nixon was president (our books were old). My theory is that Coach didn't actually *know*.)

I know there are coaches who are also competent teachers. My high school wanted NONE of that nonsense. *g*

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