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this is not the hamster you're looking for (flightstothesea) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2007-12-30 17:41:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Impish
Entry tags:feminism: you're doing it wrong

comment is free! and so is stupidity!
Tanya Gold writes a piece for the Guardian's Comment is Free section. It begins with this headline: Men want us lobotomised.

Oh, goody. The article is about her experience with a speed-dating night, in which she pretended to be a human rights lawyer, an economist, and a vapid florist, among other things. Shockingly, the men preferred the giggly florist to the woman who told them not to wear leather shoes, and so Tanya concludes with this: Everything my mother has ever told me about men is true.

Predictably, the comments are full of indignation, "Deleted by Moderator," assertions that her 'experiment' is not very scientific, and people pointing out that a speed-dating night at a pub is not likely to bring out the best and brightest in humanity, particularly if your opening salvo is, "I'm reading Heidegger." There are some funny bits, however (and not just the fictional cats named Roe and Wade).

AllyF: But then when they say 'You're late, again! Why are you always late?' you can bring in Heidegger.

'Because you are thinking in three-dimensional time, when time incorporates being and is in fact four dimensional.'

Then you sleep on the sofa.

Oh and...

'Well darling, technically since the bathroom door is currently shut, I'd like to referenence Schrodinger and suggest that toilet seat is in fact currently in a state of both upness and downness simultaneously.'

Then sleep on the sofa for a week.


Bonus lolz: someone asking if this Tanya Gold is the same one who wrote this article for the Daily Mail in which she asks Santa to "Please send me a plutocrat with a kind heart for Christmas.... So I can come here every year."



(Post a new comment)


[info]evilsqueakers
2007-12-31 12:46 am UTC (link)
I have no idea about the source, since I barely keep up with the stupid Atlanta news, but I took it in the same way I do chick lit: Very amusing, overblown hyperbole that makes me giggle quite often.

I think something was lost in translation, or no one on that board has a sense of humor.

(Reply to this)


[info]chaimonkey
2007-12-31 12:49 am UTC (link)
"In speed dating I did a lot better as a simpering, giggly florist than as a dazzlingly literate lawyer"

And I'm sure you're the only one who would describe you as "dazzling", darling.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]abbymouse
2007-12-31 02:39 am UTC (link)
She used the phrase "as moonlight splashed across my pillow", for god's sake.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]trisandrockets
2007-12-31 12:55 am UTC (link)
Oh, Guardian blogwank. Always fun and enjoyable. You should have seen the Morrissey insanity.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]blackjackrocket
2007-12-31 09:18 am UTC (link)
Ooh, do share.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]octavia, 2008-01-01 06:51 am UTC

[info]lyppy
2007-12-31 01:03 am UTC (link)
told him I have two cats and he looked hopeful. "What are they called?" "Roe and Wade, after the United States supreme court case that resulted in the legalisation of abortion."

I can't believe teh menz didn't like her!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2007-12-31 09:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]negativecosine, 2007-12-31 09:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jerel, 2008-01-05 02:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2008-01-06 05:18 am UTC

tree
2007-12-31 01:04 am UTC (link)
OK, wow, if a man used those opening lines on me on a first date, I'd walk away too. It's about being a pretentious fuck, not about women or men.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2007-12-31 01:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]octavia, 2007-12-31 01:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]smashingstars, 2007-12-31 10:43 am UTC

[info]rosehiptea
2007-12-31 01:13 am UTC (link)
At first I thought the whole thing was a joke, but the last paragraph sounds really bitter.

Like every single woman, I walk through life asking: what do men want?

I'm pretty sure this is a joke though. I mean, I'm single and not even all that happy about it but I walk through life asking and "Does this 7-11 sell Milk Duds" and "Can I reconcile my views on disability rights with working in a group home" and "Will I ever finish Silent Hill 3?" and... stuff like that.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]isntitironic, 2007-12-31 01:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-12-31 01:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isntitironic, 2007-12-31 01:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2007-12-31 01:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]emiweebee, 2007-12-31 04:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2007-12-31 04:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2007-12-31 10:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]stromatolite, 2008-01-03 05:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pantyless_angel, 2007-12-31 02:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ianthefira, 2007-12-31 03:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]demonbean, 2007-12-31 04:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gloria_mundi, 2007-12-31 07:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lyppy, 2008-01-01 06:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bobgenghiskhan, 2008-01-03 08:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oddplaces, 2008-01-05 05:28 am UTC
(no subject) - flightstothesea, 2007-12-31 02:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lil_miss_stfu, 2007-12-31 02:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]photosinensis, 2007-12-31 02:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isntitironic, 2007-12-31 03:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2007-12-31 02:30 am UTC
(no subject) - flightstothesea, 2007-12-31 02:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-12-31 04:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amxjm, 2007-12-31 08:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2007-12-31 09:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2007-12-31 08:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lady_red, 2007-12-31 03:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]feuillu, 2007-12-31 03:21 am UTC
(no subject) - flightstothesea, 2007-12-31 03:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-12-31 04:50 am UTC
(no subject) - flightstothesea, 2007-12-31 04:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2007-12-31 06:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-12-31 07:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2008-01-01 03:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shinga, 2007-12-31 08:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2007-12-31 11:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sizer, 2007-12-31 04:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]exdee, 2007-12-31 09:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]grapefruitzzz, 2008-01-01 10:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-01-01 10:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]harrylovesron, 2007-12-31 02:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-12-31 03:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]_dinsdale, 2007-12-31 04:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-12-31 06:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]radiotrash, 2008-01-01 05:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2008-01-01 05:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]radiotrash, 2008-01-01 07:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mockaholic, 2008-01-01 11:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2007-12-31 05:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2007-12-31 06:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yubsie, 2008-01-02 01:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2008-01-02 06:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-12-31 06:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chaimonkey, 2007-12-31 07:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]negativecosine, 2007-12-31 09:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-01-01 10:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dez_chan, 2007-12-31 07:14 am UTC
(no subject) - tree, 2008-01-01 04:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2007-12-31 09:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2008-01-01 04:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2008-01-01 04:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-01-01 10:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]big_bad_wolf, 2008-01-01 10:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - redwarrior, 2008-01-03 08:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pipssister, 2008-01-04 05:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2008-01-04 05:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amymccabe, 2008-01-06 02:35 pm UTC

rowleyorama
2007-12-31 01:28 am UTC (link)
Well, I learned a lesson from this. If I'm going to pretend to be someone I'm not, I should aim low. Aiming high just makes you sound like a pretentious crazypants catlady.

(Reply to this)


[info]llama_treats
2007-12-31 02:27 am UTC (link)
Heidegger wouldn't date this woman even if he really was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-12-31 04:53 am UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-12-31 04:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dez_chan, 2007-12-31 07:16 am UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-12-31 08:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-12-31 09:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doyle, 2007-12-31 01:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dez_chan, 2007-12-31 06:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-12-31 06:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-12-31 08:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2008-01-01 02:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2007-12-31 06:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2007-12-31 04:53 am UTC

[info]isntitironic
2007-12-31 03:52 am UTC (link)
One of my roomies says that she figures What Men Want is the same as What Women Want - meaning that really, deep down, they have no idea.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2007-12-31 05:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-12-31 06:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blackjackrocket, 2007-12-31 09:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lyppy, 2008-01-01 06:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - redwarrior, 2008-01-03 08:08 pm UTC

[info]wankaholic
2007-12-31 03:54 am UTC (link)
. . . yeah, I wouldn't want to date her either. And I like women! D:

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2007-12-31 04:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wankaholic, 2007-12-31 04:01 am UTC

[info]demonbean
2007-12-31 04:41 am UTC (link)
Like every single woman, I walk through life asking: what do men want?

I hear that even lesbians are inexplicably plagued by this question.

OH, WAIT ...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2007-12-31 09:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-01-01 12:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]perletwo, 2007-12-31 10:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]quietladybirman, 2007-12-31 11:59 pm UTC

[info]scootermcgaffin
2007-12-31 06:11 am UTC (link)
SHOCKING UPDATE: Nice people preferred 10-to-1 over assholes. More at eleven.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-01-01 12:05 pm UTC

[info]chaimonkey
2007-12-31 07:11 am UTC (link)
Like every single woman, I walk through life asking: what do men want?

Oh that's an easy one. Me!

(Reply to this)


[info]dez_chan
2007-12-31 07:33 am UTC (link)
Why are my beautiful, clever female friends living alone, watching DVDs and eating cupcakes, like a gaggle of rancid Bridget Joneses?

Because your beautiful, clever friends aren't going out? They're staying at home watching movies and eating. This isn't conductive to "not being single." I mean unless where you live, they just deliver potential mates to your house...which they might. I believe it's called an "escort service." Besides, you just described them as "rancid", how wonderful can they be?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]riah_chan, 2007-12-31 08:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]perletwo, 2007-12-31 10:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]yattara, 2007-12-31 01:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lyppy, 2008-01-01 06:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dez_chan, 2008-01-01 06:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wickedwitch, 2008-01-01 09:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-01-03 11:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-01-04 03:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bobgenghiskhan, 2008-01-03 08:39 pm UTC

[info]black_spot
2007-12-31 10:19 am UTC (link)
Look at me! When I act like a pompous twit, I can’t get a man. Someone who purports to be intelligent sure isn’t showing any.

Most of the human rights solicitors I know are really nice and don’t earn a huge amount.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]demonbean, 2007-12-31 07:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]black_spot, 2007-12-31 08:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2010-11-12 03:43 pm UTC

[info]doyle
2007-12-31 02:17 pm UTC (link)
My favourite comment:

It's funny, I've never had a man want me to dumb down my intelligence. Hint: you can have a brain AND be feminine. If you don't like what you're catching change the bate!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dez_chan, 2007-12-31 06:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doyle, 2007-12-31 06:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]queencallipygos, 2007-12-31 08:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2007-12-31 09:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2008-01-01 03:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lyppy, 2008-01-01 06:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]oddplaces, 2008-01-05 05:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2008-01-01 03:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-01-03 01:16 am UTC

[info]jarofclay
2007-12-31 06:00 pm UTC (link)
Glad this showed up here, as it considerably brightened my afternoon at work today! AllyF is my CiF hero.

(Reply to this)


[info]greenling
2007-12-31 08:42 pm UTC (link)
what do men want?

Like, right now? Porkchops.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - redwarrior, 2008-01-03 08:13 pm UTC

[info]black_spot
2008-01-01 02:38 am UTC (link)
May all her shags be meaty!

Ignore me, I’m pissed!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2008-01-01 04:55 pm UTC

[info]tiarlynn
2008-01-01 06:39 am UTC (link)
I already went through the indignity of Tonya Harding in elementary school, now I have to share my name with this imbecile, too? Lame-o.

(Reply to this)


[info]ladyofviolets
2008-01-01 12:44 pm UTC (link)
//Everything my mother has ever told me about men is true.//

Easy way out: to blame my mother for my own fuck ups! D=

Way to give feminists a bad rep, bitch.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dez_chan, 2008-01-01 06:53 pm UTC
Speaking of which... - redwarrior, 2008-01-03 08:11 pm UTC

[info]grapefruitzzz
2008-01-01 10:10 pm UTC (link)
omg I love Guardianwank. It's so cute.

(Reply to this)


[info]elemcee
2008-01-03 05:10 pm UTC (link)
The 'lawyer' persona sounds a bit robotic, doesn't it? Like all the things she says with it are really just stock phrases that are fed into it's memory, before it is sent out to countless speed-dating events, before it finally mal-functions and starts saying things like 'I am a leather shoe who works 60 cats a Heidegger'.

It's all the grinning she does that clinches it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - redwarrior, 2008-01-03 08:11 pm UTC

 
   
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