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Who knew Armageddon could be so barbecue-tasty ([info]mistressrenet) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-01-20 10:26:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*sporfle!*
Entry tags:sammiches

It's not just sammiches now.
[info]coflower, famous for hating the word "sammich," proves that she can get all tl;dr over more than meat, cheese and bread!

WHAT KIND OF IDIOT DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY ORGANIZE HER POTS AND PANS SERIOUSLY.

Highlights include [info]coflower just...being her wanky self, posters using 'sammich' just to piss her off, and this beautiful, beautiful post:

I want to know how you function when you're so obviously cracked in the head. SERIOUSLY. Walk me through A Day in the Life of coflower.

7:00am: Wake up
7:15am: Stand in shower and yell at shampoo bottle for getting an airbubble. Call it worst shampoo in history.
9:15am: Get out of shower.
9:16am: Yell at kids on lawn.
9:17am: Yell at toaster for not being plugged in
9:18am: Egg sammiches! Hooray!
9:30am: Get up from table, bang leg on table, yell at table including several obscene statements about table's parentage


And so on.

Small but tasty as a good sammich.

Previous [info]coflower hits: Knitting

Stupid_free awards coflower an award for the "sammich" wank. The original sammich post. Tragically, I couldn't find the wank report in the wiki. Edit: [info]spacelogic found the original wank! The cycle is complete.

Edit 2: And that, kids, is how [info]coflower was banninated from [info]hip_domestics.
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(Post a new comment)

(Deleted post)

[info]mistressrenet
2008-01-21 01:47 am UTC (link)
It's a good thing I only know how to knit, apparently.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tephra
2008-01-21 03:50 am UTC (link)
Someone should show her this, call it a Sammich Dress. ;)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(Deleted post)
(no subject) - [info]tephra, 2008-01-21 04:36 am UTC

[info]evilsqueakers
2008-01-21 08:18 am UTC (link)
in crochetcrochet

I...I read that as crotchrocket.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2008-01-21 08:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-01-22 12:06 am UTC

[info]darkeyes
2008-01-21 12:37 am UTC (link)
Wait a minute....Hold up there.


"coflower in If You Say "Sammich", I Will Punch You
394 (33.0%)

njyoder in I Call You Guys Retarded Fuckwits Because I Care
243 (20.3%)

aegion in I Will PWN You When It's One-On-One
205 (17.2%)

angelgoddess in You Welfare Mothers Know Nothing Of Gothic Lolita!
184 (15.4%)

skepticultist in OMG FUCK YOU GUYS I WILL KILL YOU FAP FAP FAP
169 (14.1%)"


How did she beat out njyoder? HOW?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]brennalarose
2008-01-21 01:57 am UTC (link)
God help us if they start breeding. The little angels'll be sent home from kindergarten for beating the crap out of a classmate for saying "sammich" and then calmly explaining that the victim could be cured of his speech impediment.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]velvet_mace
2008-01-21 01:12 am UTC (link)
I love how "sammich" now means batshit crazy. I wonder if I can slip that into my own wanks.

(Reply to this)


[info]kerryblaze
2008-01-21 01:14 am UTC (link)
Damn. That bitch is crazy!

I feel bad for the OP. She never did get the advice that she was looking for. :( I'd help her, but I just through all my shit inside the oven that I never use.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]brennalarose
2008-01-21 01:56 am UTC (link)
I'd be no use either. I've been living here since October with dishes wrapped in paper still on the counter to be washed and put away.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]shaysdays
2008-01-21 02:39 am UTC (link)
I just through all my shit inside the oven that I never use.

I'm usually the last one to wank on spelling, honest, but throw makes a lot more sense. Plus it's shorter to type.

Although I did have an amusing mental image for a second of your oven being the door to Narnia or something. Only instead of Mr Tumnus, Sylvia Plath shows up to greet you.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]exit_chrysalis, 2008-01-21 02:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kerryblaze, 2008-01-21 02:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2008-01-21 02:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2008-01-22 08:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shakeandbake, 2008-01-21 03:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]irised, 2008-01-21 09:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2008-01-21 07:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-01-22 12:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2008-01-22 03:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-01-22 04:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2008-01-22 04:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-01-22 04:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-01-22 09:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]isntitironic, 2008-01-21 06:07 pm UTC

[info]stella_polaris
2008-01-21 01:49 pm UTC (link)
Yes, well. Obviously you are the worst in history.



And sammiches.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]frequentmouse
2008-01-21 07:20 pm UTC (link)
I myself have dreams of one day having the stainless steel open shelving system from IKEA, but that's way down the list behind replacing the bits of house which are actually falling off.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]greenling
2008-01-23 03:49 am UTC (link)
Hey, that's a good idea. I'm starting to run out of space in the dish drainer thingy.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tangentialone
2008-01-21 05:16 am UTC (link)
*joins the leagues of wankas who are now hungry for a sammich*

(Reply to this)


[info]drakyndra
2008-01-21 05:34 am UTC (link)
I missed Sammich!wank first time round.

But this is now cracking me up.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]florence_craye
2008-01-22 05:25 pm UTC (link)
Me too. I haven't laughed this much at wank in several days. XD

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]napalmnacey
2008-01-21 08:46 am UTC (link)
I can't have sammiches. They hurt my tummy. :'(

(Reply to this)


[info]indis_earfalas
2008-01-21 01:31 pm UTC (link)
Pffft. When I made dinner tonight, the pots and pans all fell out onto the kitchen floor when I opened the cupboard doors. Then I chose what I wanted and threw the rest of them back in, slamming the doors on them and kicking them a bit so that they'd close properly.

How's that for organised, aye?


BTW - Dinner was AWESOME!

Sammich! Sammich! Sammich!


(This post was bought to you by 4 glasses of Per Diem Bloodhorse 2007 Viognier. Sorry.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)


coreopsis
2008-01-21 02:03 pm UTC (link)
You made dinner in my kitchen? Awesome.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-01-21 10:15 pm UTC

[info]utahraptor
2008-01-21 03:06 pm UTC (link)
Is this the same person of the frosting cake wank?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]eilan
2008-01-21 07:51 pm UTC (link)
This one? Doesn't seem so.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]utahraptor, 2008-01-22 05:44 am UTC

[info]knightrider
2008-01-22 10:21 am UTC (link)
Actually, I honestly think there's something truly wrong with this one. Not sure I'm cool with the idea of wanking someone with an obvious mental health issue (as opposed to fake Asperger's).

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-01-22 09:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2008-01-23 01:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]knightrider, 2008-01-24 10:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mistressrenet, 2008-01-24 01:50 pm UTC

[info]brennalarose
2008-01-22 08:08 pm UTC (link)
coflower is banninated? YAY! *goes to join hip_domestics*

(Reply to this)


[info]chaos_rose
2008-01-25 05:27 am UTC (link)
You know, previous to reading the 'sammich' wank, I'd never said the word. Never had the urge to say it. Now I say it all the time, just because I know it would piss that batshit broad off.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make a grilled cheese sammich.

(Reply to this)


[info]demonoflight
2008-01-29 11:44 pm UTC (link)
Crazy bitch doesn't deserve the right to use a Nightmare Before Christmas icon.

(Reply to this)
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