Current mood:	sporfle!
Entry tags:	sammiches

It's not just sammiches now.
coflower, famous for hating the word "sammich," proves that she can get all tl;dr over more than meat, cheese and bread!

WHAT KIND OF IDIOT DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY ORGANIZE HER POTS AND PANS SERIOUSLY.

Highlights include coflower just...being her wanky self, posters using 'sammich' just to piss her off, and this beautiful, beautiful post:

I want to know how you function when you're so obviously cracked in the head. SERIOUSLY. Walk me through A Day in the Life of coflower.

7:00am: Wake up
7:15am: Stand in shower and yell at shampoo bottle for getting an airbubble. Call it worst shampoo in history.
9:15am: Get out of shower.
9:16am: Yell at kids on lawn.
9:17am: Yell at toaster for not being plugged in
9:18am: Egg sammiches! Hooray!
9:30am: Get up from table, bang leg on table, yell at table including several obscene statements about table's parentage

And so on.

Small but tasty as a good sammich.

Previous coflower hits: Knitting

Stupid_free awards coflower an award for the "sammich" wank. The original sammich post. ~~Tragically, I couldn't find the wank report in the wiki.~~ Edit: spacelogic found the original wank! The cycle is complete.

Edit 2: And that, kids, is how coflower was banninated from hip_domestics.

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	puipui 2008-01-20 05:07 pm UTC (link)
	7:15am: Stand in shower and yell at shampoo bottle for getting an airbubble. Call it worst shampoo in history. 9:15am: Get out of shower. dies (Reply to this)(Thread)

	emiweebee 2008-01-20 05:40 pm UTC (link)
	OMG I didn't notice that! I was stuck on the minute-by-minute ranting at the kids, the toaster, and sammiches. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tehrin 2008-01-20 08:26 pm UTC (link)
	She's actually childfree! Thank you, Powers that Be. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	athy 2008-01-20 10:42 pm UTC (link)
	Starting to think some of the childfree people are that way because they realize if they have kids, the little buggers might act like them. And that thought terrifies them. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	One minute later leto 2008-01-20 10:43 pm UTC (link)
	9:16am: Yell at kids on lawn. And I bet those kids sure do appreciate her naked wrinkly from two hours in the shower self on the porch too! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: One minute later talec 2008-01-20 11:33 pm UTC (link)
	What better way to scare them off the lawn? :D (Reply to this)(Parent)

	platedlizard 2008-01-21 03:40 am UTC (link)
	My tiny little water heater only gives me about five minutes of hot water, or a half-full bathtub. Yay for crappy apartments! would LOVE to be able to spend two hours in shower (Reply to this)(Parent)

	smashingstars 2008-01-21 04:06 am UTC (link)
	The only reason it takes 2 hours is because she thinks the shampoo is yelling back at her. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	puipui 2008-01-21 07:50 am UTC (link)
	I think she thinks it tries, but I can't imagine that she'd let it get a word in edgewise. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	irised 2008-01-21 08:41 am UTC (link)
	Especially not when that word might be - well, you know. Can you imagine if it got in her eyes? She'd try to strangle it ... slip over in suds ... hit her head ... try and fight back ... the only person ever admitted to hospital while in mortal combat with a shampoo bottle. And she'd probably cuss out the ambulance officers too. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	scootermcgaffin 2008-01-21 06:47 pm UTC (link)
	And God help the poor ambulance officers if one of them should happen to say...THAT WORD. It'd be like those scenes in horror movies where they cart off the "completely dead" killer only to end up torn in half inside the tiny little ambulance. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

irised
2008-01-21 08:43 pm UTC (link)

"I can't get a pulse - ready the defibrillator!"

wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr BLAM

"She's not responding! Try again!"

wwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr BLAMMO

"Again!"

wweeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr BLAMMM

"Time of death at - who's got a watch? God I need a sammich ..."

"Hey, I just got a pulse OH SHI - "

(zoom out to wide shot, ambulance rocking, obligatory single hand appearing and dragging slowly down the blood spattered window)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cmdr_zoom 2008-01-21 08:44 pm UTC (link)
	beautiful. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	mistressrenet 2008-01-22 03:42 am UTC (link)
	♥ (Reply to this)(Parent)

	metallicar67 2008-01-22 04:13 pm UTC (link)
	is dead of laughing (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	irised 2008-01-23 01:32 am UTC (link)
	I'll get the defibrillator! (Damn I love that word) (Reply to this)(Parent)

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