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shaysdays ([info]shaysdays) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-03-02 17:14:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:duck-billed fire-breathing dragon, fun with fundies, ideas for pokemon

Dinosaur Wank- Big, Old, and No One's Really Positive What Happened
Okay, so someone links to a relatively cute article about the Top Ten Myths About Dinos on a science forum. (Myth 1, Dinosaurs coexisted with humans, Myth 7, Dinosaurs were slow and sluggish animals, etc.) Right off the bat, someone starts in on 'evangelicals' probably not accepting #1, thus sending out some sort of subsonic signal across the internet for everyone with a bible and black helicopter fetish to show up and proclaim they are really the sane ones, really truly.

jteamjohn kicks off the WTFery with, Why don't you try to understand if what "evangelicals" believe may be true since almost anything we know about what happen to the dinosuars is myth or unexplainabe. I believe in my heart that dinos and man where here together. It is because of evidence that I have studied leads me to this belief. I believe man saw dinos becasue one of them wrote about them, Job.

Aaand they're off.

Is the Bible a peer-reviewed document?
Didn't I see cave drawings of 'dinasaurs' and man together?
Um, carbon dating is like guessing and therefore science is faith-based so haha, suck it, scientists*!
Did you know hippos don't have tails that look like trees? That means the Bible mentioned dinosaurs!
Dinosaurs and people lived together in a vegetarian utopia but I await your ignorant responses**!
You know, if I put what you "believe" in "quotes," it makes me look more "right."
Well, I was taught about Pluto, but now there's no planet Pluto, so science must have erased it!

And that's just page one and two. It goes on to name-calling, off-kilter assumptions about people of faith, a random quote by Pliny about Vesuvius from out of nowhere, and...

*screeches to a halt*

Dinosaurs could breathe... flame? Really? On page 3:

The fermenting plants in the stomach of the Parasaurolophus produced a combustible gas that ignited when the dinosaur channeled it through it's headcrest and out it's nostrils, as a defensive weapon. The Parasaurolophus was a "fire breathing dragon."

....Yes. Dinosaurs? Totes breathed flame. Don't believe him? Just look at the dinosaur's head and diet! It's obvious.

It goes on for quite a bit longer, but once I got to fire-breathing parasaurs, I knew I had to share.

*Some statements may be wildly paraphrased to make them funnier.
**That one was, um, not.




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[info]notjo
2008-03-02 11:56 pm UTC (link)
But Pluto is a planet now!

Pluto, Ceres and Eris.

Don't these people pay attention! I swear! *pouts*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]yosei, 2008-03-03 01:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sailorcoruscant, 2008-03-03 01:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2008-03-03 01:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2008-03-03 01:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2008-03-03 01:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-03-03 05:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gairid, 2008-03-03 03:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2008-03-03 07:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]staroverthebay, 2008-03-07 11:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2008-03-15 03:36 am UTC

[info]rosehiptea
2008-03-03 12:12 am UTC (link)
Barney Rubble wrote:
Humans existed alongside dinosaurs. I saw pictures of it in the newspaper for years. Some guy named Alley Oop even rode a dinosaur.


Look at that cave man go.


OK, I'm laughing already and I didn't even get to the wanky part.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]da_angel729, 2008-03-03 04:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]worstangel, 2008-03-03 08:22 pm UTC

[info]belafarinrod
2008-03-03 12:23 am UTC (link)
once I got to fire-breathing parasaurs, I knew I had to share.

Yes. You did. Thank you!

(and I've always though that one looks a bit like a duck. A punk duck maybe)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]somnambulicious, 2008-03-03 05:47 am UTC

[info]tangentialone
2008-03-03 12:30 am UTC (link)
T-Rex: "Big sharp teeth? What big shar--oh, these big sharp teeth? ...They're just for, er, cracking nuts. And some of these berries can be really vicious."

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2008-03-03 12:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2008-03-03 12:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hollywdliz, 2008-03-03 12:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2008-03-03 01:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hollywdliz, 2008-03-03 01:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2008-03-03 01:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kalypsi_cat, 2008-03-03 01:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2008-03-03 04:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2008-03-03 01:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2008-03-04 03:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-03-03 05:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-03-03 08:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marciamarcia, 2008-03-05 05:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cie_anthy, 2008-03-03 03:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2008-03-03 03:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pantyless_angel, 2008-03-03 03:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alleyprowler, 2008-03-03 04:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-03-03 06:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-03 06:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-03-03 05:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-03 11:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-03-04 05:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-04 05:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bienegold, 2008-03-04 05:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2008-03-03 10:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marciamarcia, 2008-03-05 05:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2008-03-03 12:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2008-03-03 12:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-03 06:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2008-03-03 02:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2008-03-03 02:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-03-03 05:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2008-03-03 06:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-03 06:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2008-03-03 06:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-03 06:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2008-03-03 06:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-03 06:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2008-03-04 03:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-03-04 04:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]serai, 2008-03-03 08:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]electricwitch, 2008-03-03 12:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]maureenlycaon, 2008-03-04 11:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]electricwitch, 2008-03-05 01:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]maureenlycaon, 2008-03-08 02:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]electricwitch, 2008-03-08 07:00 pm UTC

[info]hollywdliz
2008-03-03 12:54 am UTC (link)
Oh, fundagelicals. You stay classy!

I can't understand how people can hold these beliefs in their heads without their brains exploding.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]trollprincess, 2008-03-05 08:33 am UTC

[info]isntitironic
2008-03-03 01:06 am UTC (link)
I notice they're all avoiding the real question about dinosaurs.

Namely: how the hell did these things manage to have sex? I mean, consider the Stegosaurus. It looked like this. It can't lie down on its back. If it lies down on its side, it'll probably never get up again. And the male sure can't climb on the female's back. How did they manage to reproduce themselves?

Enquiring minds want to know.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]catremistrae, 2008-03-03 01:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marciamarcia, 2008-03-05 05:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]catremistrae, 2008-03-06 02:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spacelogic, 2008-03-03 01:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]wonderfish, 2008-03-03 01:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]catremistrae, 2008-03-03 01:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]risha, 2008-03-03 03:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pantyless_angel, 2008-03-03 04:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-03-03 08:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-03-04 05:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pantyless_angel, 2008-03-04 05:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]maureenlycaon, 2008-03-05 12:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]maureenlycaon, 2008-03-05 12:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]erototoxin, 2008-03-05 07:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]whimsy_chan, 2008-03-03 05:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-03-03 05:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shark, 2008-03-03 05:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]isntitironic, 2008-03-03 05:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]no_touching, 2008-03-03 11:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laurelin_kit, 2008-03-04 03:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2008-03-04 03:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2008-03-04 03:59 am UTC

[info]joye
2008-03-03 01:06 am UTC (link)
Job? Job?
Are we reading the same bible? Is there a bible with deleted scenes? Possibly one where Jesus teleports, thus explaining the movie-version of Jumper?
It is because of evidence that I have studied leads me to this belief.
Hmm, which meme is more suitable here, "It are a fact" or "I can tell from some of the pixels."

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2008-03-03 01:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2008-03-03 05:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2008-03-03 06:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2008-03-03 06:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]electricwitch, 2008-03-03 12:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]theladyfeylene, 2008-03-03 10:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2008-03-04 04:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2008-03-03 01:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]joye, 2008-03-03 05:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]marciamarcia, 2008-03-05 05:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2008-03-03 05:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-03-03 05:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]staroverthebay, 2008-03-08 06:55 am UTC

[info]catremistrae
2008-03-03 01:07 am UTC (link)
From John Canada:

al qaede destroyed the dinosuars , I saw it on fox news .

Oh God, that made me laugh. Hard.

(Reply to this)


[info]gynocrat
2008-03-03 01:31 am UTC (link)
Of course men and dinos shared the Earth!
Doesn't anyone watch those Flintstones reruns on the History Channel?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]lizrocks, 2008-03-03 07:28 pm UTC
A T-Rex's Oppinion
[info]tehrin
2008-03-03 01:48 am UTC (link)
Human women are good for stomping!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: A T-Rex's Oppinion - flightstothesea, 2008-03-03 02:02 am UTC
Re: A T-Rex's Oppinion - [info]trisandrockets, 2008-03-03 04:45 am UTC
Re: A T-Rex's Oppinion - [info]bienegold, 2008-03-03 05:35 pm UTC
Re: A T-Rex's Oppinion - [info]serai, 2008-03-03 08:44 am UTC
Re: A T-Rex's Oppinion - [info]vzg, 2008-03-03 06:56 pm UTC

[info]limyaael
2008-03-03 02:01 am UTC (link)
I believe in my heart that dinos and man where here together. It is because of evidence that I have studied leads me to this belief.

And he does not see how these two things contradict each other?

If I went with what I "believed in my heart" about, say, tigers as a child before I studied them, and tried to combine that with what I actually learned about tigers, I would have believed that tigers were big cuddly kitty-cats when human children were around and predatory terrors when adult humans were. Children's books were the source of quite a lot of my "heartfelt beliefs" at the time.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]shaggydogstail, 2008-03-03 03:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]comixology, 2008-03-03 10:08 pm UTC

[info]verpon
2008-03-03 03:09 am UTC (link)
Reading the ongoing debate about whether a prehistoric duck billed fire breathing dragon existed or not is just utterly brilliant. When a debate starts sounding like a brainstorming session for new pokemon designs, you know you're onto something good.

Are you really having that much difficulty with the descriptions?
Is it possible for you to momentarily set aside the evolution concept and objectively look at the evidence of this creature?
A swamp feeding reptile with a hollow tube running from it's midsection up through and over it's head and venting out bone tube nostrils.


It just goes on and on and on and on and on.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]limyaael, 2008-03-03 03:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gairid, 2008-03-03 03:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-03-03 05:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gairid, 2008-03-04 03:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2008-03-03 04:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2008-03-03 03:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]verpon, 2008-03-03 03:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2008-03-03 03:41 pm UTC

[info]demonbean
2008-03-03 05:27 am UTC (link)
No, no, they're all wrong ... dinosaurs and JESUS coexisted briefly, not dinosaurs and humans.

"And it says here that the meek shall inherit the earth."
"GRAWRGH!"
"Okay, we'll take that bit out."

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2008-03-03 06:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2008-03-03 07:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dez_chan, 2008-03-03 05:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jellibean, 2008-03-04 07:24 pm UTC

[info]seiberwing
2008-03-03 06:10 am UTC (link)
Even with magical firebreathing dinosaurs, this is rather depressing me.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2008-03-03 06:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-03 06:50 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2008-03-03 07:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bigbigtruck, 2008-03-03 08:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2008-03-03 06:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2008-03-05 01:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2008-03-03 07:09 am UTC

[info]luthe
2008-03-03 06:53 am UTC (link)
Everybody know there were baby dinosaurs on Noah's Ark.

I love Fundies Say the Darndest Things.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-03-03 10:04 pm UTC

tree
2008-03-03 08:25 am UTC (link)
I believe in my heart that dinos and man where here together.

D'awwwwwwww.

(Reply to this)


[info]white_serpent
2008-03-03 08:39 am UTC (link)
Of course dinosaurs and humans coexisted. I've seen Dragonball Z. That's totally a documentary.

(Reply to this)


[info]rekall
2008-03-03 09:45 am UTC (link)
Fire breathing dinosaur? Oh dear, don't tell me someone actually believed that Dragon mocumentary from a few years ago and think that dragons really existed along side dinosaurs.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - tree, 2008-03-03 02:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]risha, 2008-03-03 04:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-03-04 01:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2008-03-04 04:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-03-04 04:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2008-03-04 06:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2008-03-05 02:22 am UTC

[info]southerngaelic
2008-03-03 04:10 pm UTC (link)
This wank reminds me of this Bill Hicks skit I saw about three years ago, about how whenever he asks fundies about dinosaurs, they usually answer "God put them there to test us." I don't remember the rest but it went something like:

JESUS: Man, look at them all wearing crosses. Considering what I went through, wouldn't they think I never want to see a cross again? Let's fuck with them for shits and giggles.

GOD: I have the lizard bones right here. Let's go.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-03-03 06:00 pm UTC
Why on earth am I still reading this?!
[info]no_touching
2008-03-03 05:20 pm UTC (link)
Seriously, I'm up to comment #462. Somebody make me stop.

Still, crazy Jim is now suggesting that maybe there were trolls and fairies, and Busted Bubble has kindly chimed in a bit of humour:

You mean to tell me... straight up... that the Flintstones wasn't real? That it was all made up?
Dang! There went my theory of evolution of the great automobile and typewriter. That's why Pteradactyl Airlines is out of business. Lost a lot in the market over that one.

(Reply to this)


[info]miss_padfoot
2008-03-03 05:57 pm UTC (link)
My favorite is the guy who says carbon dating is a method that measures the fossil's age by the age of the rock, and the rock's age by the age of the fossil. Where did that brainbug get started?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ghostmaster, 2008-03-04 09:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marciamarcia, 2008-03-05 05:39 pm UTC

[info]llama_treats
2008-03-03 06:18 pm UTC (link)
The only thing I need to remember about the dinosaurs is that Adric killed them, and was killed in turn.

And then everybody rejoiced.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2008-03-03 08:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2008-03-04 12:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bienegold, 2008-03-04 12:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]makeshyft, 2008-03-04 03:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2008-03-05 03:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hurricane, 2008-03-03 08:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lyssie, 2008-03-04 04:32 am UTC

[info]risha
2008-03-03 07:10 pm UTC (link)
I love the mod tag, though I suspect that it will not be used very frequently.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2008-03-03 07:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2008-03-03 08:24 pm UTC

[info]verpon
2008-03-03 08:41 pm UTC (link)
I decided to go to the end and read backwards this morning. It seems after the long discussion about duck billed trogdors, discussion turned to what the fossilization process actually was and the champion of the would-be dragon decided to argue that Bison and Elephants existed at the same time as Dinosaurs but just 'inland' and that there was no wind back then.

Just when I think you have explored the furtherest boundary of the land of 'woo-hoo' you, the Lewis & Clark of psychopathology, manage to go beyond even the most severe crack induced imagination. I am not sure if it would be more appropriate to flip you off or 'moon' you in order to demonstrate the depth of my appreciation for what you bring to this discussion.

I just loved this rebuttal.

(Reply to this)


[info]dragonfangirl
2008-03-03 11:35 pm UTC (link)
Last night I was having a dream the Japanese yakuza had splintered into factions, and they were breeding giant lizards and dinosaurs to fight one another. The smallest was about the size of a city block.

And people wonder why I have trouble waking up.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]honorh, 2008-03-04 06:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-03-04 04:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ojamajo_limepie, 2008-03-04 11:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]risha, 2008-03-04 04:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]staroverthebay, 2008-03-08 07:04 am UTC


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