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shaysdays ([info]shaysdays) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-03-02 17:14:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:duck-billed fire-breathing dragon, fun with fundies, ideas for pokemon

Dinosaur Wank- Big, Old, and No One's Really Positive What Happened
Okay, so someone links to a relatively cute article about the Top Ten Myths About Dinos on a science forum. (Myth 1, Dinosaurs coexisted with humans, Myth 7, Dinosaurs were slow and sluggish animals, etc.) Right off the bat, someone starts in on 'evangelicals' probably not accepting #1, thus sending out some sort of subsonic signal across the internet for everyone with a bible and black helicopter fetish to show up and proclaim they are really the sane ones, really truly.

jteamjohn kicks off the WTFery with, Why don't you try to understand if what "evangelicals" believe may be true since almost anything we know about what happen to the dinosuars is myth or unexplainabe. I believe in my heart that dinos and man where here together. It is because of evidence that I have studied leads me to this belief. I believe man saw dinos becasue one of them wrote about them, Job.

Aaand they're off.

Is the Bible a peer-reviewed document?
Didn't I see cave drawings of 'dinasaurs' and man together?
Um, carbon dating is like guessing and therefore science is faith-based so haha, suck it, scientists*!
Did you know hippos don't have tails that look like trees? That means the Bible mentioned dinosaurs!
Dinosaurs and people lived together in a vegetarian utopia but I await your ignorant responses**!
You know, if I put what you "believe" in "quotes," it makes me look more "right."
Well, I was taught about Pluto, but now there's no planet Pluto, so science must have erased it!

And that's just page one and two. It goes on to name-calling, off-kilter assumptions about people of faith, a random quote by Pliny about Vesuvius from out of nowhere, and...

*screeches to a halt*

Dinosaurs could breathe... flame? Really? On page 3:

The fermenting plants in the stomach of the Parasaurolophus produced a combustible gas that ignited when the dinosaur channeled it through it's headcrest and out it's nostrils, as a defensive weapon. The Parasaurolophus was a "fire breathing dragon."

....Yes. Dinosaurs? Totes breathed flame. Don't believe him? Just look at the dinosaur's head and diet! It's obvious.

It goes on for quite a bit longer, but once I got to fire-breathing parasaurs, I knew I had to share.

*Some statements may be wildly paraphrased to make them funnier.
**That one was, um, not.



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]tangentialone
2008-03-03 12:30 am UTC (link)
T-Rex: "Big sharp teeth? What big shar--oh, these big sharp teeth? ...They're just for, er, cracking nuts. And some of these berries can be really vicious."

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]hallidae
2008-03-03 12:49 am UTC (link)
I wish I could remember how far back it was, but there's actually an imagechan screencap of a creationist science site that claims all dinosaurs were vegetarians and the long teeth were for shredding tough plants.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tangentialone
2008-03-03 12:53 am UTC (link)
Haha, oh man. That's just... bizarre.

What I don't get is why they would even try to claim that. I mean... we have predators like lions and alligators now, so...?

I don't even know what to say about the fire-breathing, except LOL. XD

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]hollywdliz
2008-03-03 12:57 am UTC (link)
Oh! Oh! I know! It's because man and dinosaur walked together in the Garden of Eden, and they were all happy vegetarians, and then that bitch Eve had to go and fuck things up, at which point dinosaurs and tigers started eating us. And then the dinosaurs all died in the Great Flood. Trufax.

Boy, am I glad I paid attention in Sunday school. It comes in handy at parties.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]hallidae
2008-03-03 01:01 am UTC (link)
That sounds remarkably like Scalzi's report on what the Creationist Museum would have you believe.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]hollywdliz, 2008-03-03 01:05 am UTC

[info]tangentialone
2008-03-03 01:07 am UTC (link)
XD But... if you're going to go ahead and believe in an all-powerful god anyway, can't you just say "Yeah, God changed their teeth and metabolism and instincts and eye arrangement and everything else that makes them successful predators and made them meat-eaters and then gave all the prey animals their various defenses and instincts so that they wouldn't just all be slaughtered on the first day with predators"?

I bet the water-dwelling dinosaurs were hit especially hard by a big flood that covered everything with water (their one weakness!).

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kalypsi_cat, 2008-03-03 01:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2008-03-03 04:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2008-03-03 01:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2008-03-04 03:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-03-03 05:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-03-03 08:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]marciamarcia, 2008-03-05 05:27 pm UTC

[info]cie_anthy
2008-03-03 03:07 am UTC (link)
Just as a small aside - that original picture (Professor Giraffenstein) is from a spoof site, http://objectiveministries.org/

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]hallidae
2008-03-03 03:13 am UTC (link)
Oops. I take back my initial mockery, then, and shift it to the Creationism Museum.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]pantyless_angel
2008-03-03 03:59 am UTC (link)
http://objectiveministries.org/kidz/crafts.html#JESUSOLANTERN

Scroll down for the cardboard "action figures".

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]alleyprowler
2008-03-03 04:18 am UTC (link)
The crucifixion spike is just...special.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-03-03 06:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-03 06:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-03-03 05:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-03 11:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2008-03-04 05:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-04 05:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bienegold, 2008-03-04 05:46 pm UTC

[info]eilisliana
2008-03-03 10:23 am UTC (link)
John Scalzi's report and picture snark?

del.icio.us is really good for this type of stuff. ;)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]marciamarcia
2008-03-05 05:25 pm UTC (link)
T-Rex ate whole oak trees for breakfast. And/or the asparagus was a little tough back in the plestiocine.

BTW,the explanation I heard for this back in baptist school: Magic.
No really.
All the dinos had plant-eating teeth back in the day, but when Adam and Eve sinned, God transformed some of the dinos into meat-eaters as part of The Curse.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]hallidae
2008-03-03 12:51 am UTC (link)
Found it! Thank you, Google.

Professor Giraffenstein

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tangentialone
2008-03-03 12:54 am UTC (link)
Hahaha, oh, classic. XD

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]seiberwing
2008-03-03 06:11 am UTC (link)
...wow.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]khym_chanur
2008-03-03 02:18 am UTC (link)
That quote's from Hogfather, right?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tangentialone
2008-03-03 02:20 am UTC (link)
Yep! :B About the bears who supposedly maul children who step on the cracks in sidewalks.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dragonfangirl
2008-03-03 05:47 am UTC (link)
Well to be fair, there's some speculation that the T-rex ate mostly carrion. Which still isn't vegetarian, but isn't necessarily "predator" either.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tangentialone
2008-03-03 06:10 am UTC (link)
Makes sense. :O I mean... I've heard that most predators are opportunistic and will eat carrion. With their size, they'd probably need an awful lot of it, though.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]seiberwing
2008-03-03 06:15 am UTC (link)
Professor Seiberbro has a comment about this.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2008-03-03 06:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-03 06:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2008-03-03 06:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2008-03-03 06:35 am UTC

[info]cmdr_zoom
2008-03-04 03:05 am UTC (link)
Predators eat meat. Many of them don't particularly care whether they were the one that made it stop moving.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-03-04 04:37 pm UTC

[info]serai
2008-03-03 08:39 am UTC (link)
Yep. And the enormous razor-sharp claws on the velociraptors? For splitting open and slicing avocados. Those dinosaurs were fine gourmets, you bet. *nods sagely*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]electricwitch
2008-03-03 12:36 pm UTC (link)
I'm trying really hard to relate this to T.Rex the band and Marc Bolan being a failed vegetarian, but I fail :(

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]maureenlycaon
2008-03-04 11:46 pm UTC (link)
He also bloated up to 300 pounds or something before he died. Can we work that in somehow?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]electricwitch
2008-03-05 01:25 pm UTC (link)
Yes, that's because he started eating meat again. lol fail. He'd lost it before he died though. Oh fatMarc, I love you.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]maureenlycaon, 2008-03-08 02:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]electricwitch, 2008-03-08 07:00 pm UTC

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