Entry tags:

duck-billed fire-breathing dragon, fun with fundies, ideas for pokemon

Dinosaur Wank- Big, Old, and No One's Really Positive What Happened
Okay, so someone links to a relatively cute article about the Top Ten Myths About Dinos on a science forum. (Myth 1, Dinosaurs coexisted with humans, Myth 7, Dinosaurs were slow and sluggish animals, etc.) Right off the bat, someone starts in on 'evangelicals' probably not accepting #1, thus sending out some sort of subsonic signal across the internet for everyone with a bible and black helicopter fetish to show up and proclaim they are really the sane ones, really truly.

jteamjohn kicks off the WTFery with, Why don't you try to understand if what "evangelicals" believe may be true since almost anything we know about what happen to the dinosuars is myth or unexplainabe. I believe in my heart that dinos and man where here together. It is because of evidence that I have studied leads me to this belief. I believe man saw dinos becasue one of them wrote about them, Job.

Aaand they're off.

Is the Bible a peer-reviewed document?
Didn't I see cave drawings of 'dinasaurs' and man together?
Um, carbon dating is like guessing and therefore science is faith-based so haha, suck it, scientists*!
Did you know hippos don't have tails that look like trees? That means the Bible mentioned dinosaurs!
Dinosaurs and people lived together in a vegetarian utopia but I await your ignorant responses**!
You know, if I put what you "believe" in "quotes," it makes me look more "right."
Well, I was taught about Pluto, but now there's no planet Pluto, so science must have erased it!

And that's just page one and two. It goes on to name-calling, off-kilter assumptions about people of faith, a random quote by Pliny about Vesuvius from out of nowhere, and...

*screeches to a halt*

Dinosaurs could breathe... flame? Really? On page 3:

The fermenting plants in the stomach of the Parasaurolophus produced a combustible gas that ignited when the dinosaur channeled it through it's headcrest and out it's nostrils, as a defensive weapon. The Parasaurolophus was a "fire breathing dragon."

....Yes. Dinosaurs? Totes breathed flame. Don't believe him? Just look at the dinosaur's head and diet! It's obvious.

It goes on for quite a bit longer, but once I got to fire-breathing parasaurs, I knew I had to share.

*Some statements may be wildly paraphrased to make them funnier.
**That one was, um, not.

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hollywdliz
2008-03-03 12:57 am UTC (link)

Oh! Oh! I know! It's because man and dinosaur walked together in the Garden of Eden, and they were all happy vegetarians, and then that bitch Eve had to go and fuck things up, at which point dinosaurs and tigers started eating us. And then the dinosaurs all died in the Great Flood. Trufax.

Boy, am I glad I paid attention in Sunday school. It comes in handy at parties.

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	hallidae 2008-03-03 01:01 am UTC (link)
	That sounds remarkably like Scalzi's report on what the Creationist Museum would have you believe. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	hollywdliz 2008-03-03 01:05 am UTC (link)
	I laughed so very hard at that report. The accompanying photos were the best. I long to take a road trip to that monument to willful delusion. (Reply to this)(Parent)

tangentialone
2008-03-03 01:07 am UTC (link)

XD But... if you're going to go ahead and believe in an all-powerful god anyway, can't you just say "Yeah, God changed their teeth ~~and metabolism and instincts and eye arrangement and everything else that makes them successful predators~~ and made them meat-eaters ~~and then gave all the prey animals their various defenses and instincts so that they wouldn't just all be slaughtered on the first day with predators~~"?

I bet the water-dwelling dinosaurs were hit especially hard by a big flood that covered everything with water (their one weakness!).

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	kalypsi_cat 2008-03-03 01:32 am UTC (link)
	Well, all dinosaurs were land animals. As for the rest of your statement, so much word. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	frequentmouse 2008-03-03 04:21 am UTC (link)
	This is one of the things which bugs me about fundies: they posit a God who is a big fat liar, and one who violates all the gorgeous unity of chemistry, physics, and biochemistry to cover his deceptions. Makes Zeus look downright moral, they do. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ecchaniz0r 2008-03-03 01:10 pm UTC (link)
	Word, word, WORD. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	cmdr_zoom 2008-03-04 03:04 am UTC (link)
	"Ha ha! Okay, you got me, Lord! An omnipotent being able to reorder the cosmos and manufacture utterly convincing physical evidence put one over on this poor little mortal... that was a good one, yup..." (Reply to this)(Parent)

	dragonfangirl 2008-03-03 05:48 am UTC (link)
	Yes, but this was... sinful... water. Or something. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	evilsqueakers 2008-03-03 08:37 am UTC (link)
	Water represented sex. Clearly. Much like most romance novels describe to us. Don't you know that? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	marciamarcia 2008-03-05 05:27 pm UTC (link)
	I bet the water-dwelling dinosaurs were hit especially hard by a big flood that covered everything with water (their one weakness!). The answer to that: Loch Ness Monster. You think I'm joking. Sometimes I'm glad for 9th Grade Baptist School Biology. It gives me such great stories at parties. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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