WHY ARE YOU READING A CHILDREN'S BOOK: A miniwank bedtime story.
Once upon a time, a self-published author wrote a book about ANTIGUA: The Land of Fairies Wizards and Heroes! (Alas, the land lacked commas!) She even gave it every tag in existence, of which only about three were appropriate! (Miley Sirus? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? High School Musical? What, no Kitchen Sink tag?) Unfortunately, it got bad reviews by everyone but the author. Even the forums weren't safe. And neither was Barnes & Noble! THE FIVE STAR REVIEWS ARE NOT FROM THE AUTHOR! REALLY!

And we all lived happily ever after!

The End!