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WHY ARE YOU READING A CHILDREN'S BOOK: A miniwank bedtime story.
Once upon a time, a self-published author wrote a book about ANTIGUA: The Land of Fairies Wizards and Heroes! (Alas, the land lacked commas!) She even gave it every tag in existence, of which only about three were appropriate! (Miley Sirus? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows? High School Musical? What, no Kitchen Sink tag?) Unfortunately, it got bad reviews by everyone but the author. Even the forums weren't safe. And neither was Barnes & Noble! THE FIVE STAR REVIEWS ARE NOT FROM THE AUTHOR! REALLY!

And we all lived happily ever after!

The End!

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issendai
2008-03-28 04:16 am UTC (link)

Robot!Britchick approves of Antigua. (NSFW, if only because the page talks to you. Constantly. If you so much as wiggle your mouse at it.)

Unbuttoned!clubkid!Britchick finds the forthcoming masterpiece The Adventures of the Teen Archeologists: The Land of The Moepek fascinating. The page also thoughtfully notes that despite the "teen" in the title and the open-shirted babe at the top of the page, the book is not suitable for anyone over the age of 14.

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	issendai 2008-03-28 04:25 am UTC (link)
	Yes, I am naff enough to respond to my own comment. This was too good to pass up. There's another site for the book. If someone can tell me what those... things are that are bouncing across the page, and why anyone on the planet thought they were a good idea, I will give you a cake made of babies. Babies aged 9 to 14. No older. Just so we're clear on that. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	white_serpent 2008-03-28 04:34 am UTC (link)
	But, look! The excerpt under the bouncing things indicates she cut out some of the exclamation points and Rs (if you can read it, that is). A pity she didn't fix the story while she was at it. Oh, well. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	windex_junkie 2008-03-28 05:00 pm UTC (link)
	I have not seen webdesign this bad since the '90s. Actually, I have not seen webdesign this bad EVAR, but the era of imbedded midi and cursors crapping sparkles is a pale shadow of... whatever THAT is. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	demonbean 2008-03-28 04:25 am UTC (link)
	"These books are appropriate for children ages nine dash twelve-" Ellipsis. Ellipsis. Headdesk. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	vzg 2008-03-28 05:36 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, man, even the website... "BLOGS!" "FUN STUFF!" "LINKS!" And it's like she's trying to assign some sort of negative rating to her book. Like if a parent comes up with a five-year-old and the book, the clerk has to ask for ID and go, "I'm sorry. I can't sell this to you. You're over fourteen." and then shut out the parent and talk only to the kid. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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