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Sarah the Hussy ([info]braisinhussy) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-03-27 11:05:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:let them eat cake, small but tasty

My breaducation, let me show you it
Bread wank. I've never been so happy.

[info]bellasmommy posts some step-by-step photos on how to make baguettes. In her description, she mentions using a bit of sugar, as well as an egg wash. There is also a mention of using the microwave to proof the dough, and using scissors rather than a razor to score the loaves.

The finished loaves look lovely, and [info]bellasmommy says, "These loaves are awesome. The outside is lightly crusty, the inside is light and chewy and fluffy." Great, right?

Oh wait. According to [info]schlake, SHE'S DOING IT WRONG. The finished product is obviously not bread, but some demonspawn of yeast and flour.

(Now I want a macro of Senator Vreenak holding a baguette, hissing "It's a FAAAAAAAKE!") (Which, thanks to [info]nam_jai, we now have!

PS. Bonus stock/broth wankery back in December, also courtesy of [info]schlake.

ETA: It's also in domestic_snark, stupid_free, and sf_drama.




Page 1 of 3
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(Post a new comment)


[info]rganymede
2008-03-27 06:33 pm UTC (link)
Light and fluffy are words to describe failed French bread.

Mmmm, I love me some failed French bread.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2008-03-28 08:51 am UTC

[info]waltraute
2008-03-27 06:34 pm UTC (link)
Good god, bread wank.

I'm laughing so hard at the BREAD CARAMELIZES, YES IT DOES! thread.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]izzygal, 2008-03-28 01:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]angstymcgoth, 2008-03-28 05:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rowanberries, 2008-03-28 11:48 pm UTC
LULZ
[info]teapotgirl
2008-03-27 06:42 pm UTC (link)
"I hate it when a country that wasn't in existence when bread was invented decides what's bread and what's not."

(Why are none of my Yakitate! icons here?!)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: LULZ - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2008-03-27 07:27 pm UTC
Re: LULZ - [info]alya1989262, 2008-03-29 09:59 pm UTC
Re: LULZ - [info]luxshine, 2008-03-28 04:26 am UTC
Re: LULZ - [info]blackjackrocket, 2008-03-28 06:36 am UTC
Re: LULZ - [info]palefire, 2008-03-29 01:54 am UTC
Re: LULZ - [info]dreiser, 2008-03-29 06:12 am UTC

[info]ladybirdsleeps
2008-03-27 06:43 pm UTC (link)
I'm pretty sure that schlake's stock sucks, if she thinks it's that easy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]azazello, 2008-03-27 07:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladybirdsleeps, 2008-03-27 09:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doire, 2008-03-28 01:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]danceswithelvis, 2008-03-28 02:27 pm UTC
ZOMG WHUT. - [info]windex_junkie, 2008-03-28 03:25 pm UTC
Re: ZOMG WHUT. - [info]azazello, 2008-03-28 07:32 pm UTC
Re: ZOMG WHUT. - [info]sewingmyfish, 2008-03-29 03:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2008-03-30 01:22 am UTC
Re: ZOMG WHUT. - [info]pandonkey, 2008-03-30 06:25 pm UTC
Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]sheep
2008-03-27 06:48 pm UTC (link)
*All I know about bread-making, I learned from Yakitate!! Japan! (Excluding soda bread :)*

Bread is made of flour, water, salt, and yeast and nothing else.

I can introduce you to quite a few Irish bread makers who would like to kick your arse off the Cliffs of Moher!

I'm a soda bread person myself, and I have yet to come across a place here that actually sells soda bread, rather than just labelling some random yeast bread, soda bread. I mean, it's not like the main raising agent is in the title.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]soupspooks, 2008-03-27 06:52 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]cygnia, 2008-03-27 06:57 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]ryuutchi, 2008-03-27 07:00 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]soupspooks, 2008-03-27 07:09 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]maegwin_of_hern, 2008-03-27 07:18 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]azazello, 2008-03-27 07:40 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]maegwin_of_hern, 2008-03-27 07:45 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]rowanberries, 2008-03-28 11:49 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]flightstothesea, 2008-03-27 07:19 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]altera, 2008-03-27 09:15 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]jaina, 2008-03-29 04:27 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]beccastareyes, 2008-03-27 06:53 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]sheep, 2008-03-27 07:01 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]beccastareyes, 2008-03-27 07:06 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]azazello, 2008-03-27 07:33 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]magic_lilybean, 2008-03-28 01:42 pm UTC
My Learnings: Let me show you them - [info]queencallipygos, 2008-03-27 07:21 pm UTC
Re: My Learnings: Let me show you them - [info]vasaris, 2008-03-28 10:29 pm UTC
Re: My Learnings: Let me show you them - [info]palefire, 2008-03-29 02:03 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]rganymede, 2008-03-27 06:55 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]miraba, 2008-03-27 07:50 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]dez_chan, 2008-03-27 08:31 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]rogueunit, 2008-03-27 08:58 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]plazmah, 2008-03-27 10:29 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]tofuknight, 2008-03-27 11:40 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]kittikattie, 2008-03-28 03:10 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]palefire, 2008-03-29 02:06 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]plazmah, 2008-03-29 02:51 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]palefire, 2008-03-29 02:04 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-03-29 08:49 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]tehrin, 2008-03-27 11:39 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]honorh, 2008-03-28 03:10 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]lyssa, 2008-03-28 06:00 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]aerobot, 2008-03-29 12:59 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]lyssa, 2008-03-29 06:01 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]aerobot, 2008-03-31 02:12 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]magic_lilybean, 2008-03-28 01:50 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]vasaris, 2008-03-28 10:34 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]empy, 2008-03-31 10:03 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]vasaris, 2008-04-01 05:38 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]mydemand, 2008-03-28 04:05 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]zara_zero, 2008-03-28 05:06 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]palefire, 2008-03-29 02:35 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]sheep, 2008-03-29 05:45 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-03-29 08:42 am UTC

[info]tez
2008-03-27 06:49 pm UTC (link)
My god...[info]bellasmommy contributed something not only worthwhile but AWESOME to the internets. That sounds really, really lovely for cheaty French bread.

If my kitchen weren't in need of a bit of cleaning and I wasn't heading to a convention tomorrow, I'd be making me some of that.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]iwanttobeasleep, 2008-03-27 07:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]deliciouschaos, 2008-03-27 09:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2008-03-27 09:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]brown_betty, 2008-03-28 08:39 am UTC

[info]gynocrat
2008-03-27 06:54 pm UTC (link)
What if you spit in the dough?
It is automatically disqualified as being bread?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mooncalf, 2008-03-27 06:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gynocrat, 2008-03-27 07:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mooncalf, 2008-03-27 07:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]smashingstars, 2008-03-27 11:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2008-03-28 08:58 am UTC

[info]ryuutchi
2008-03-27 06:59 pm UTC (link)
My love for food wank will never end. But now I'm hungry.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]flightstothesea, 2008-03-27 07:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ealusaid, 2008-03-27 09:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2008-03-28 01:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2008-03-27 09:04 pm UTC

[info]onaga
2008-03-27 07:20 pm UTC (link)
I'm more puzzled by the use of "butter flavored cooking spray." D:

(I think I need some more food-themed icons.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]stromatolite, 2008-03-27 07:23 pm UTC
My thoughts on bread, let me show you them
[info]azazello
2008-03-27 07:24 pm UTC (link)
I consider myself a keen cook. Generally, I like doing stuff from scratch...

But srsly, if someone tells me a faster way of doing something that works, I want. I cook for the purposes of eating the product, not for spending bloody hours in the preparation. I make bread from scratch, the slow way, but that's only because all around me have chosen to ignore the heavy hints for a breadmaking machine.

The first time I made homemade flatbreads, I faithfully followed the recipe including foaming up real live yeast. It didn't rise.

Next go, I used easy-blend packet yeast powder, I've never looked back. Science is sometimes there for a good reason.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: My thoughts on bread, let me show you them - [info]rosehiptea, 2008-03-27 07:35 pm UTC
Re: My thoughts on bread, let me show you them - [info]azazello, 2008-03-27 07:38 pm UTC
Re: My thoughts on bread, let me show you them - [info]rosehiptea, 2008-03-27 07:44 pm UTC
Re: My thoughts on bread, let me show you them - [info]tofuknight, 2008-03-27 11:49 pm UTC
Re: My thoughts on bread, let me show you them - [info]magic_lilybean, 2008-03-28 02:04 pm UTC
Re: My thoughts on bread, let me show you them - [info]palefire, 2008-03-29 02:13 am UTC
Re: My thoughts on bread, let me show you them - [info]magic_lilybean, 2008-03-28 02:07 pm UTC
Re: My thoughts on bread, let me show you them - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-03-29 08:58 am UTC
Presenting: "What I Wish I Could Say" theater
[info]queencallipygos
2008-03-27 07:27 pm UTC (link)
[info]schlake on challah:
"As long as you don't call it bread, sure. Egg bread is fine, since that what it is. I'd rather call it Challah, since egg bread doesn't adequately describe what Challah is."

What [info]queencallipygos wished she could say:
"So...how would you describe challah, then? Do you use it as spackel paste?"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Presenting: "What I Wish I Could Say" theater - [info]rosehiptea, 2008-03-27 07:36 pm UTC
Re: Presenting: "What I Wish I Could Say" theater - [info]queencallipygos, 2008-03-27 07:42 pm UTC
Re: Presenting: "What I Wish I Could Say" theater - [info]onaga, 2008-03-27 08:11 pm UTC
Re: Presenting: "What I Wish I Could Say" theater - [info]brennalarose, 2008-03-27 09:21 pm UTC
Re: Presenting: "What I Wish I Could Say" theater - [info]mcity, 2008-03-28 01:58 am UTC

[info]bemysty
2008-03-27 07:29 pm UTC (link)
Bread is made of flour, water, salt, and yeast and nothing else.

Dear wanker, allow me to hold your face under the putrescent waters of knowledge and let me name UH about every German bakery in existence who deems to disagree. And, if I may say so, every German, period. As a whole they are obsessed with bread and I've yet to meet one who minds some ZOMG WRONG ingredients like seeds, quark, milk products in general, sugar, potatoes, eggs and so on and so forth in their bread.

I personally very much dig rye bread with quark. And, also, Butterbrot.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2008-03-27 07:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 07:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2008-03-27 08:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lied_ohne_worte, 2008-03-28 01:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-28 09:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2008-03-27 07:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 08:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 08:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 08:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 08:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 08:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 08:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 08:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 08:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 08:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2008-03-28 03:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]paranoidandroid, 2008-03-29 03:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2008-03-29 04:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]paranoidandroid, 2008-03-29 04:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2008-03-27 08:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2008-03-27 09:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrenlet, 2008-03-27 10:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 10:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2008-03-28 05:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]no_touching, 2008-03-28 07:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 08:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 08:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 08:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 08:08 pm UTC
(no subject) -