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Sarah the Hussy ([info]braisinhussy) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-03-27 11:05:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:let them eat cake, small but tasty

My breaducation, let me show you it
Bread wank. I've never been so happy.

[info]bellasmommy posts some step-by-step photos on how to make baguettes. In her description, she mentions using a bit of sugar, as well as an egg wash. There is also a mention of using the microwave to proof the dough, and using scissors rather than a razor to score the loaves.

The finished loaves look lovely, and [info]bellasmommy says, "These loaves are awesome. The outside is lightly crusty, the inside is light and chewy and fluffy." Great, right?

Oh wait. According to [info]schlake, SHE'S DOING IT WRONG. The finished product is obviously not bread, but some demonspawn of yeast and flour.

(Now I want a macro of Senator Vreenak holding a baguette, hissing "It's a FAAAAAAAKE!") (Which, thanks to nam_jai, we now have!

PS. Bonus stock/broth wankery back in December, also courtesy of [info]schlake.

ETA: It's also in domestic_snark, stupid_free, and sf_drama.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]sheep
2008-03-27 07:48 pm UTC (link)
*All I know about bread-making, I learned from Yakitate!! Japan! (Excluding soda bread :)*

Bread is made of flour, water, salt, and yeast and nothing else.

I can introduce you to quite a few Irish bread makers who would like to kick your arse off the Cliffs of Moher!

I'm a soda bread person myself, and I have yet to come across a place here that actually sells soda bread, rather than just labelling some random yeast bread, soda bread. I mean, it's not like the main raising agent is in the title.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]soupspooks
2008-03-27 07:52 pm UTC (link)
What about zucchini bread? Or banana bread?

(I suspect those are more desserts, but still).

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]cygnia
2008-03-27 07:57 pm UTC (link)
I loooooooooove me a good quick banana bread!

(I think "quick" is the terminology for breads mad without yeast, right?)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]ryuutchi
2008-03-27 08:00 pm UTC (link)
Yep, they're quick breads because they don't have to sit around for hours and proof.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]soupspooks
2008-03-27 08:09 pm UTC (link)
(I have no idea, but my grandmother makes fantastic zucchini bread and zucchini cake).

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]maegwin_of_hern
2008-03-27 08:18 pm UTC (link)
I have a recipe for ice-cream bread. Haven't tried it yet, though.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]azazello
2008-03-27 08:40 pm UTC (link)
I have a recipe for bread ice cream...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]maegwin_of_hern, 2008-03-27 08:45 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]rowanberries, 2008-03-29 12:49 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
flightstothesea
2008-03-27 08:19 pm UTC (link)
Or pumpkin bread.


Oh god, now I want pumpkin bread. ;_;

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]altera
2008-03-27 10:15 pm UTC (link)
Now you've done it.... *drooling*

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]jaina
2008-03-29 05:27 am UTC (link)
Oooooh. Thank you for reminding me that I have all the ingredients for banana bread in my house right now. I'm totally going to go make some!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]beccastareyes
2008-03-27 07:53 pm UTC (link)
Can I help? Soda bread is a traditional holiday food in my family, because you don't have to rely on finicky little fungi to make it rise. (My mother has no patience for yeast.) And it tastes good for breakfast.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]sheep
2008-03-27 08:01 pm UTC (link)
Oh, I know about soda bread, as I've made it with my Nan many times and it's my favourite bread (whether it be brown, white, treacle or fruity).

It's not just good for breakfast, it's good for almost anything! I'm on holiday at the moment and here in wisconsin the bakers seem to think that you use yeast for it :(

When I said 'except soda bread', I meant that I knew about that in real life, not just from a manga :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]beccastareyes, 2008-03-27 08:06 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]azazello, 2008-03-27 08:33 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]magic_lilybean, 2008-03-28 02:42 pm UTC
My Learnings: Let me show you them - [info]queencallipygos, 2008-03-27 08:21 pm UTC
Re: My Learnings: Let me show you them - [info]vasaris, 2008-03-28 11:29 pm UTC
Re: My Learnings: Let me show you them - [info]palefire, 2008-03-29 03:03 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]rganymede
2008-03-27 07:55 pm UTC (link)
I was certainly surprised to learn that I have been making OMG! fake bread!!! all these years.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]miraba
2008-03-27 08:50 pm UTC (link)
I'd love to introduce her to a clan of Jewish mothers.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]dez_chan
2008-03-27 09:31 pm UTC (link)
Oh, he already tries to argue with the daughter of a rabbi about the significance of Challah bread.

I love food wank so fucking much!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]rogueunit, 2008-03-27 09:58 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]plazmah, 2008-03-27 11:29 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]tofuknight, 2008-03-28 12:40 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]kittikattie, 2008-03-28 04:10 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]palefire, 2008-03-29 03:06 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]plazmah, 2008-03-29 03:51 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]palefire, 2008-03-29 03:04 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-03-29 09:49 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]tehrin
2008-03-28 12:39 am UTC (link)
I know at least three or four different ways to make soda bread and all are nummy.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]honorh
2008-03-28 04:10 am UTC (link)
Okay, I see a problem with that recipe: yeast needs sugar to feed on. Without the lovely gaseous byproducts of yeast digestion, bread doesn't rise. Having tasted yeast bread that had the sugar left out, I can testify to the complete fail of the finished product. I think our little baker girl is talking out of her nether orifice.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]lyssa
2008-03-28 07:00 am UTC (link)
Supposedly it can still rise, but takes 12-16 hours. I'll take a shortcut that doesn't affect the outcome that much plzkthx.

Of course, this means I can never be a TRUE BAKER. Quite the travesty.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]aerobot, 2008-03-29 01:59 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]lyssa, 2008-03-29 07:01 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]aerobot, 2008-03-31 03:12 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]magic_lilybean
2008-03-28 02:50 pm UTC (link)
Actually, the recipe I have for (amusingly enough) French bread calls for just water, bread flour, salt, and yeast. I thought of it because I remember being surprised at the short list of ingredients. Looked it up, and sure enough - no sugar.

It doesn't take any extra time to rise or anything, either.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]vasaris
2008-03-28 11:34 pm UTC (link)
Actually, no -- the yeast feeds on the starch in the flour -- it just takes longer. The sourdough recipies I have leave sugar completely out of it, take a huge amount of time, and make the best bread evar. Or, at least, the best bread I've personally ever made.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]empy, 2008-03-31 11:03 am UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D - [info]vasaris, 2008-04-01 06:38 pm UTC
Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]mydemand
2008-03-28 05:05 am UTC (link)
icing wank? what? where?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]zara_zero
2008-03-28 06:06 am UTC (link)
Voila.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]palefire
2008-03-29 03:35 am UTC (link)
But does it have raisins? If it has raisins instead of currants, it's NOT SODA BREAD U N00B!

Seriously, though. This year I figured that if I wanted it done right, I'd have to do it myself. No regrets.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]sheep
2008-03-29 06:45 am UTC (link)
It also seems as if the only 'soda' bread you can get here is the fruity type. The brown loaf is lovely, the only place I've ever had treacle soda bread is at my Nan's, so I don't know if that is her own thing.

:(

Maybe I'll have to make my own while I'm here, as well. I'm sure my Aunt would be pleased. She was born in Ireland, but moved over here some time ago, we were both wangsting over the lack of soda bread.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Is this going to be like the icing wank all over again? :D
[info]evilsqueakers
2008-03-29 09:42 am UTC (link)
Oh...I HATE YOU NOW. I want some soda bread they have at the "pub" down the street (basic American attempt, though, to be fair, the owners might actually be Irish but the food's hit and miss). It's sooo good with their Shepherd's Pie.

...have I told you lately that I hate you? Because I totally do.

*limps off to drool in the corner*

(Reply to this)(Parent)

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