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Sarah the Hussy ([info]braisinhussy) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-03-27 11:05:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:let them eat cake, small but tasty

My breaducation, let me show you it
Bread wank. I've never been so happy.

[info]bellasmommy posts some step-by-step photos on how to make baguettes. In her description, she mentions using a bit of sugar, as well as an egg wash. There is also a mention of using the microwave to proof the dough, and using scissors rather than a razor to score the loaves.

The finished loaves look lovely, and [info]bellasmommy says, "These loaves are awesome. The outside is lightly crusty, the inside is light and chewy and fluffy." Great, right?

Oh wait. According to [info]schlake, SHE'S DOING IT WRONG. The finished product is obviously not bread, but some demonspawn of yeast and flour.

(Now I want a macro of Senator Vreenak holding a baguette, hissing "It's a FAAAAAAAKE!") (Which, thanks to nam_jai, we now have!

PS. Bonus stock/broth wankery back in December, also courtesy of [info]schlake.

ETA: It's also in domestic_snark, stupid_free, and sf_drama.



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]bemysty
2008-03-27 08:29 pm UTC (link)
Bread is made of flour, water, salt, and yeast and nothing else.

Dear wanker, allow me to hold your face under the putrescent waters of knowledge and let me name UH about every German bakery in existence who deems to disagree. And, if I may say so, every German, period. As a whole they are obsessed with bread and I've yet to meet one who minds some ZOMG WRONG ingredients like seeds, quark, milk products in general, sugar, potatoes, eggs and so on and so forth in their bread.

I personally very much dig rye bread with quark. And, also, Butterbrot.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]rosehiptea
2008-03-27 08:38 pm UTC (link)
Now I have a craving for German bread.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bemysty
2008-03-27 08:59 pm UTC (link)
Worse for me... it's 9pm, where the hell am I supposed to get bread at now? ._.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2008-03-27 09:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 10:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lied_ohne_worte, 2008-03-28 02:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-28 10:09 pm UTC

[info]ashenmote
2008-03-27 08:57 pm UTC (link)
Right you are. Bread is made with creativity and awesomeness. It is beer that is made of something, something, something and something and nothing else!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2008-03-27 09:02 pm UTC (link)
Hops, malt, water, yeast.

As long as it results in booze, it's okay with me *betrays Bavaria and pets his Beck's*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 09:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 09:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 09:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 09:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 10:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2008-03-28 04:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]paranoidandroid, 2008-03-29 04:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]breecita, 2008-03-29 05:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]paranoidandroid, 2008-03-29 05:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2008-03-27 09:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 10:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2008-03-27 10:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]wrenlet, 2008-03-27 11:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 11:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]visp, 2008-03-28 06:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]no_touching, 2008-03-28 08:08 pm UTC

[info]bemysty
2008-03-27 09:02 pm UTC (link)
lol beer purity

Water, barley, hops and (after modification) yeast. Not that it matters since a) it's been abolished and b) we get COKE BEER nowadays *shudders*

I know that and I don't even like beer! Genetic memory is alive and well, apparently.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 09:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 09:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 09:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 09:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]littlest_lurker, 2008-03-28 02:51 am UTC

[info]florence_craye
2008-03-27 09:48 pm UTC (link)
Unless you're in Belgium. (That's why they make the best beers.) Oh, my lovely fruit lambic!!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]takhys, 2008-03-28 12:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaina, 2008-03-29 05:29 am UTC

[info]pokecheck
2008-03-27 09:59 pm UTC (link)
Does it make a difference if you put the something in before the other something?

Taste-wise, I mean.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2008-03-28 08:15 am UTC

[info]ladysorka
2008-03-27 11:31 pm UTC (link)
But can I make bread with the beer?

...mmm, beer bread.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ashenmote, 2008-03-27 11:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2008-03-28 01:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]palefire, 2008-03-29 03:57 am UTC

[info]paranoidandroid
2008-03-29 04:56 pm UTC (link)
Damn, now I want my whey bread with only-FSM-knows-how-many different seeds in it. The market stall was sold out again this morning - for good reason!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]barankhy
2008-03-27 08:58 pm UTC (link)
As a whole they are obsessed with bread
We so fucking are.
Everytime I go to Foreignistan, I make a point of complaining about how there is no decent fucking bread there.

Bread's not supposed to be squishable until it's only one tenth of its original size, dammit!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bemysty
2008-03-27 09:05 pm UTC (link)
I dunno, I'm flexible in a lot of regards... I can survive without decent bread of months on end.

Then again, I like Japanese toast so I'm quite obviously a filthy heathen.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 09:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-27 09:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tofuknight, 2008-03-28 05:04 pm UTC

[info]flowerstar
2008-03-27 10:20 pm UTC (link)
Word! I almost died in Japan until I found a little bakery selling French, German and English bread ... And when my parents asked what to bring me to France, BREAD was the first thing I could think of!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]paranoidandroid
2008-03-29 05:01 pm UTC (link)
Tell me about it. The one part of my one-year stay in Scotland that was truly horrible.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]barankhy, 2008-03-29 05:56 pm UTC

[info]onaga
2008-03-27 09:09 pm UTC (link)
What on earth is quark? I sense googling would just lead me to discussion of subatomic particles, and I gather that's not what you mean.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]barankhy
2008-03-27 09:11 pm UTC (link)
The wonders of delicious, yummy quark.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-27 09:14 pm UTC

[info]bemysty
2008-03-27 09:13 pm UTC (link)
This. I personally don't really consider it a "cheese", really, but it's quite delicious and tastes awesome in and on bread.

And with fruits. Myam.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2008-03-28 02:21 am UTC

[info]dez_chan
2008-03-27 09:34 pm UTC (link)
God, I'm glad I wasn't the only one! MMM, delicious subatomic particle bread....nom nom nom.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]florence_craye, 2008-03-27 09:48 pm UTC

[info]cygnia
2008-03-27 10:34 pm UTC (link)
Portuguese sweet bread is one of my weaknesses. Ended up buying a whole loaf for my breakfast (baked with a hard-boiled egg in it) when I was in Lisbon.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]gunshou
2008-03-28 01:29 am UTC (link)
My mom and I were just talking about how one of the things we'll miss most about about staying in my grandmom's house (which we just sold) is walking down the street to the bakery and buying sweet bread for breakfast each morning. Although in my grandmom's village in northern Portugal, it's slightly different - shaped like a flatish donut and sweeter than the southern version. Less like Easter bread and more like cake. I can't find it here in my area of Massachusetts, even though I live in like, mini-Portugal.

Oh man, how I want some of that bread now.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cygnia, 2008-03-28 02:19 am UTC

[info]keleri
2008-03-27 10:45 pm UTC (link)
Dear wanker, allow me to hold your face under the putrescent waters of knowledge [snip]

WOOT Zero Punctuation reference. <3 <3

Also, yay bread.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sharps
2008-03-28 01:51 am UTC (link)
Damn it. I'm homesick. I'm not German, but I lived there and it was like God's own country, especially when it came to the bread.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bemysty
2008-03-28 01:59 am UTC (link)
I'm kind of a pariah, though, I guess... I've recently gotten into toast a lot, especially wholemeal toast with linseed, hmmmmm.

Well. At least it's still bread? Of sorts?

But damn, this wank gave me a craving for Graubrot with real butter.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]eilan
2008-03-28 08:32 am UTC (link)
But... Butterbrot is not a type of bread. It just means a slice of bread with something on it...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2008-03-28 10:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2008-03-29 11:57 am UTC

[info]magic_lilybean
2008-03-28 03:10 pm UTC (link)
1) What is quark?

2) Do they really make Partybrots over there? I got the recipe from a book and I love it for gifts and stuff, but had never heard of it before that. (It's whole wheat and milk rolls baked together in the same pan, so everybody at the table can get the kind they like.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2008-03-29 11:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]magic_lilybean, 2008-03-29 12:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eilan, 2008-03-29 02:56 pm UTC

(Read comments) -

 
   
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