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joye ([info]joye) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-04-12 11:52:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:childfree, cute overload, pet wank, wank overload

Misanthrope Overload?
Ah, Cute Overload. A site that posts pictures of cute animals, what could people possibly wank about there? As the wiki shows, plenty.

I think Meg, the blogger, loves poking the crazies. One of the most reliable sources of "commentroversy" has been her "Cats n Racks" series. Yesterday she posted a video of a cat kneading some boobies with the hopeful tag "Nancy, it's a good thing you brought this to our attention, we've been just starved for commentroversies." Sadly, the commenters behaved themselves and mostly filled the comments with anecdotes about cats kneading soft squishy objects such as nads, ouch.

Meg would not be denied her wank, though! Clearly she had to bring out something NEW, something GUARANTEED to send her readers into apoplexy.

So today she posts... A HUMAN BABY.

*ominous chord*

263 comments so far, including the following gems:
She almost made the worst mistake of her life: Good Gods I was about to send a link to cuteoverload to someone, thank goodness I checked in first. BABIES NEED NOT APPLY.

You don't understand what your blog is about Meg! I DO: human babies are not what cute overload is about!

Whereas animals are completely silent and made of plasticine: Ugh, what's with all this worshiping at the altar of the baby? Babies are not cute, they're noisy and leak fluids. Do not want!

Uhhhh...: When I look at human babies, I just imagine the adult they will grow into... but puppies and kitties, etc., are babies forever!

I also love this comment where someone ponders changing their dissertation.

And finally, some pwnage:
human babies are not cute. if this is to be a regular occurrence, everyone i know who goes to this site will stop, including myself.

[Well, I can already tell how much we'd miss you... - Ed.]

Pass the pa-sickies.

Edit: HT to [info]dragonfangirl. cf_hardcore cheers the brave commenters for speaking truth to power, or something. What's wrong with the word tummy? :(


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]platedlizard
2008-04-12 05:37 am UTC (link)
Ugh, what's with all this worshiping at the altar of the baby? Babies are not cute, they're noisy and leak fluids. Do not want!

And puppies and kittens never ever pee and poop on the floor, spread their bloody-from-teething saliva all over the place, or howl/meow all night long! Ever!

At least human babies grow up to be self-sufficient people who, with any luck, move out and go away. *has waaay too many pets*

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]chibikaijuu
2008-04-12 06:14 am UTC (link)
SRSLY. I love my cats, but they will never stop needing a clean litter box. I will never stop having to feed them. And they will never, ever, stop barfing on the carpet.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smashingstars
2008-04-12 08:09 am UTC (link)
They never barf on the easy-to-clean linoleum, do they? It's some kind of genetic predisposition.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]gunshou
2008-04-12 01:50 pm UTC (link)
Seriously. I'll hear my dog horking in the kitchen and come running just in time to watch him stretch his head deliberately over the hall carpet to puke. It's like he has to make me miserable too when he doesn't feel good.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-04-12 04:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]trollprincess, 2008-04-12 06:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]papervolcano, 2008-04-12 09:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tephra, 2008-04-13 12:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tephra, 2008-04-13 12:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kosaginolegion, 2008-04-13 01:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2008-04-13 04:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bitca, 2008-04-14 06:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ruby_falls, 2008-04-14 10:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kosaginolegion, 2008-04-14 10:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vampychick, 2008-04-15 10:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2008-04-12 07:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-04-13 01:46 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2008-04-13 05:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-04-14 02:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vampychick, 2008-04-15 11:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evilsqueakers, 2008-04-15 06:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2008-04-14 07:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2008-04-15 02:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2008-04-15 02:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2008-04-15 04:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jabberwockypie, 2008-04-15 06:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2008-04-15 08:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-04-12 08:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-04-12 11:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2008-04-13 01:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2008-04-13 05:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2008-04-14 02:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]also_not_a_pipe, 2008-04-13 03:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2008-04-13 06:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-04-15 06:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tachikoma01, 2008-04-13 03:03 pm UTC

[info]threegoldfish
2008-04-12 03:59 pm UTC (link)
I suspect it's because linolium splatters. And really, who wants vomit splatters on them?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joye, 2008-04-12 04:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2008-04-12 07:30 pm UTC

[info]serai
2008-04-13 01:38 am UTC (link)
My cat has learned to barf on smooth surfaces that are easily cleanable. Plus, she has very considerately developed a special "i'ma gonna barf now!" call that she gives three or four times before she lets rip, giving me time to run over with a paper towel to catch most of it.

I love my Casey. She tries hard.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]purest_chaos
2008-04-13 08:10 am UTC (link)
If they do barf on the linoleum, it's likely because there's something important on the linoleum. Or in a spot you'll unassumingly step in when you get up on the morning.

A few months ago, I had my Xbox 360 upstairs to play on the big screen, and had an ethernet cord running from the computer room to the living room (alas, no wireless) so I could play on Live. He had the entire foyer, yet horked right over top of the cord.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]vzg
2008-04-14 07:18 pm UTC (link)
Carpets are puke magnets. Luckily, if we notice our dogs about to puke we can get them outside sometimes, but otherwise it's the carpet — and the cats are always on the carpet, seeing as how they cannot go out.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dandywolves
2008-04-12 07:27 pm UTC (link)
At least none of your cats have never killed a bird, left it's remains on your patio, and then come inside and thrown it all up.

(Unless they have, in which case you have my sympathy.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Just using the kitty! icon
[info]tofuknight
2008-04-12 08:30 pm UTC (link)
I've always had cats, and in fact when I was ten my cats both a) lined up dead moles on the porch from the night's hunting, sometimes 10 or so at a time, and b) cheerfully dropped dead things on our feet when we came outside.

And I laughed so hard I scared my cats at your comment. That's awesome. I hope it wasn't too hard to clean up. :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Just using the kitty! icon - [info]khym_chanur, 2008-04-13 01:20 am UTC

[info]ainself
2008-04-12 10:11 pm UTC (link)
Usually, we found out that my cat had been eating small animals because she would come in for dinner and not be terribly hungry, but once I discovered it because she threw up a surprisingly undigested mouse tail in the middle of the night.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]chibikaijuu
2008-04-12 11:11 pm UTC (link)
When I was a kid, there was a hole somewhere in the attic which kept letting birds in. My cat would catch them, drag them under the bed, and then leave squishy little bird bits for me to crawl under and clean up.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2008-04-13 04:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shakeandbake, 2008-04-14 01:37 am UTC

[info]risha
2008-04-12 06:37 am UTC (link)
Tell me about it! I can't even go into the bathroom for an extended period of time without four month old Sebastian (beagle) howling loud enough to wake the neighbors.

Excuse me, I have to go clean up the new pee on the kitchen floor now.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sparkysrevenge
2008-04-12 10:36 pm UTC (link)
Good lord. Beagles are especially bad. Cute little guys, but good lord. There was one Beagle who lived next to my grandpa, she was beautiful, but wow, did she howl when she was outside.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]risha, 2008-04-12 10:55 pm UTC

[info]annabelle_lee
2008-04-13 04:37 am UTC (link)
Oh god, I definitely sympathize. When I was a kid, there was always a beagle in the house, so I know what you're going through. Gorgeous dogs, but my god, the baying is enough to drive anyone crazy.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]risha, 2008-04-13 05:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]annabelle_lee, 2008-04-13 05:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]risha, 2008-04-13 05:23 am UTC

[info]darkrose
2008-04-12 07:50 am UTC (link)
I just had to come home and have [info]telesilla hold one of the cats down while I went in with scissors and cut a huge mat from around his butt. I was kind of tired, because the kitten spent an hour between 5-6 am staring up at the bedroom ceiling and trilling, which would have been cute if I hadn't been trying to get to sleep.

Ahem. Sorry.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2008-04-13 01:50 am UTC (link)
Butt mats are so foul sometimes, too. It was always my least favorite activity for my old cat. She'd hate it, and so would I. And she was half Siamese, so she'd meow the house down around 2-3am, every morning like clockwork.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]hallidae
2008-04-13 05:54 pm UTC (link)
When I lived in Savannah, we wound up taking care of a friend's cat, Tima, while she went overseas. None of us three roomies having cared for a longhair before (Roommate #1 had a crotchety, bitchy little old shorthair, though), we weren't expecting her to get all kinds of crap matted in her tail.

One night, we found a mat that was so thick, and so close to her skin that we couldn't cut it off without her crying, so we decided she'd go to the vet the next day. Roommate #1 was at work, and I'd just gotten back from class when Roommate #2 returned with the cat carrier. I asked her how it went, and she just started laughing, so, being curious and all, I took the case from her to let Tima out.

They had shaved from her butt to about an inch from the tip of her tail, leaving a little poodle puff on the end.

I couldn't help it, I started laughing too. Tima gave me the most wounded look, then went and hid under the bed. For three days. We had to shove her litter box and food and water dishes under there for her.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]nekoama
2008-04-12 11:23 am UTC (link)
AMEN. My 4 year old kitty is a sweety and a darling and I love her, but from the massive inbreeding that comes with barn cats she has eternal diarrhea and ocasionally she doesn't make it to the catbox. IF it was a toss up of 12-odd years cleaning up runny catshit and 3 years of baby fluids, hand me that baby!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]pantyless_angel
2008-04-12 05:12 pm UTC (link)
I feel you pain. Ours aren't that bad, at least once a year we get a new blood. (Not spayed, or neutered of course.) Because once again some anonymous ass-hole apparently thinks were an animal shelter.


(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dana
2008-04-12 11:58 am UTC (link)
I dunno, my Mum prefers her dog Taz, to my brother who is 22 years old, stays at home, gets drunk, picks fights, constantly loses jobs and never pays for the living expenses.

At least the dog seems to appreciate the food he gets for free and actually likes people.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]trollprincess
2008-04-12 06:17 pm UTC (link)
That sounds like my mother. She prefers her seven cats to my brother, who a month ago just decided to quit his two jobs and pretend he was going to them anyway so he wouldn't get yelled at.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dana, 2008-04-13 01:43 am UTC

(Deleted post)

[info]magic_lilybean
2008-04-13 12:04 am UTC (link)
Yes! I forgot about that. (We lost our cat last fall.) He wouldn't do it often, but if he was feeling lovey and I wasn't cooperating well enough, he'd do that. Then he'd start actually grooming my hair, gradually rougher and rougher till he'd be pulling strands out with his teeth. Purring like a fiend the whole time, of course.

The little bastard.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]also_not_a_pipe
2008-04-13 05:53 am UTC (link)
My younger cat likes to show the depth of his affection by shoving his snotty little nose under my chin and kneading my throat. If I'm not awake when he feels the need to share his love, he wakes me up by bopping me with his head until I roll over and he can lay on my chest and scratch up my neck. When I turn my head away from him, he puts his paw on my eye or mouth until I go back to a position he likes.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

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