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"I have personally saved the ass-virginity of several young boys in my days."
I... don't even know how to describe this.

It's a lovely time capsule of wank that took place in 2001; the Shrine of the Mall Ninja was posted in 2006. It seems the original thread is gone now. History weeps for its loss.

There are two lessons to take away from this: there is apparently an epidemic of ass-raping going on in malls across America, and there are a few brave men with assault rifles serving as the last bastion of protection between the ass-rapists and young boys' tender ass-virginity. If you don't respect your friendly neighborhood Mall Ninja, you, too, may be gang-raped in the men's room.

Who knew malls were so dangerous?

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	wonapalei 2008-05-15 05:07 pm UTC (link)
	I have read this before. Damned if I know who linked me, when, or where (perhaps the customers_suck comm?), but I know I've read this before. After all, how could I forget such classic lines as *BTW A one time experiementation while in the military, does not make one a homosexual*? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	luthe 2008-05-15 05:58 pm UTC (link)
	It does if it involves tentpegs! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	flightstothesea 2008-05-15 07:26 pm UTC (link)
	I think Neil Gaiman linked it in his journal a while back, cos that's where I remember finding it. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	wonapalei 2008-05-15 11:27 pm UTC (link)
	That must be it! Oh, Neil. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	demonbean 2008-05-15 07:29 pm UTC (link)
	BTW A one time experiementation while in the military, does not make one a homosexual? That is ... so amazing. So. Amazing. In every way. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	kadath 2008-05-16 04:27 am UTC (link)
	In one of my officer training courses in ROTC, we had a serious discussion about how you get one free homosexual experience before you're officially gay and have to not tell. We also determined that a threesome with two members of the opposite sex was likewise not gay. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dragonfangirl 2008-05-16 07:39 am UTC (link)
	Serious question: were their balls touching? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	dragonfangirl 2008-05-16 07:40 am UTC (link)
	IT DOESN'T COUNT IF IT'S IN THE MILITARY. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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