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Angsty McGothsalot ([info]angstymcgoth) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-05-30 20:23:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:politics

Furries: They Ruin Everything
Tired of reading about the lj advisory board election ? Well, here's some good old-fashioned drama about elections that, y'know, matter. As boring and derivative as political wank can be, bear with me because this one's got furries.

It all started last Monday, when Barack Obama gave a speech commemorating Memorial Day with a mention of his great-uncle, a WWII vet involved in liberating Nazi death camps. During the speech, Obama stated that his uncle had been involved in the liberation of Auschwitz; this was incorrect, it was actually Ohrdruf. A simple mistake...OR WAS IT? The usual accusations of exploiting veterans for political gain rapidly descends into "BARACK OBAMA IS A FILTHY FILTHY CHEAT WHO NEVER EVEN HAD AN UNCLE ANYWAY!" This provides a good summary.

In attempting to prove Obama as a lying liar who lies, our plucky investigators, as reported by Sadly, No!, recieve the biggest bitchslap in the world from a WWII vet. Twice.

Here's where it gets funny: despite being well and truly owned by aging servicemen, the Obama-dissenter cigarskunk keeps pestering them. In the follow-up report, cigarskunk's username starts to set off alarm bells for some of the readers of Sadly, No!, mainly because he is the type of highly vocal, highly annoying [ETA: this goes to Encyclopedia Dramatica, NSFW, be warned] furry that not even other furries want to be associated with:

In August, Cigarskunk came to CYD [CrushYiffDestroy] in order to assert his heterosexuality and to explain why the furries hated him: He was 100 percent straight, he smoked, he was conservative, and he brought females to conventions, because he was not gay. He stated, restated, and then stated some more that he really loved women and was totally straight, and then went on to call everybody else gay.

[...] After babbling endlessly that he wasn’t gay and everyone else was, Cigarskunk began to ramble about cigars and how great they were. It was fetishistic: “Cigars, cigars, cigars, by God, I love cigars. My favorite color is cigar-brown. Cigar smoke, cigar smell, cigar taste; cigars are fucking great. I really, really like cigars. Cigars make my day. Cigars have a Zen-like quality to them, and they’re so damn good. Ooh, yes, cigars. I think about cigars all the time. I fucking love cigars.”

I encourage reading Sadly, No!, since I've basically just ripped off all of their links to make this post, and they tell it funnier anyway.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]jkefka
2008-05-31 05:08 am UTC (link)
Okay, first, bottom of the ED link, DEFINITIVELY NSFW. Just by the bye. Also, my eyes, the goggles do nothing. Anyways

This guy sounds like a class-A jackass, with a healthy smattering of homophobe and maybe racist? (Going mostly by the ED entry here, take it with a grain of salt) Delightful. Obama's never looked better to me.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]angstymcgoth
2008-05-31 05:10 am UTC (link)
I'm sorry! I'll add a note. Thanks for catching it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


iwanttobeasleep
2008-05-31 05:10 am UTC (link)
NSFW and ED tend to go hand in hand. Even if you turn off auto-loading graphics it's still iffy.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]angstymcgoth
2008-05-31 05:12 am UTC (link)
Just that it's ED tends to be warning enough.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]squeakytoy
2008-05-31 11:24 am UTC (link)
Something that I will keep in mind. I should have known better after the ED thing on Adam from Mythbusters, but I forgot and read down the page...

o_O

(Reply to this)(Parent)


nam_jai
2008-05-31 05:23 am UTC (link)
Okay, first, bottom of the ED link, DEFINITIVELY NSFW. Just by the bye. Also, my eyes, the goggles do nothing.

And how. What I want to know is: Arrrghh, did I just see goatse? Because I just recently broke my long-standing superstition and admitted online that I never had, even though I was sure that admission would just attract it to me, and what do you know? Not a week later, I foolishly click on an Encyclopedia Dramatica link, I should have known better, but I clicked, and I see ... that. Which seems to fit the goatse reputation, anyhow.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]jkefka
2008-05-31 05:33 am UTC (link)
I have it on good authority that it is, in fact, goatse. (I hadn't seen it either)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


nam_jai
2008-05-31 05:40 am UTC (link)
Oh well. I'll pick up my shattered life and move on, I suppose. And from now on, always obey my personal superstitions. Oh, and don't click on ED links. Sadder but wiser here.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]harrylovesron
2008-05-31 05:38 am UTC (link)
Yup, that is most definitely Goatse. I've seen it so many times that I've been totally desensitized to it (I was first subjected to it, like... 6 or 7 years ago).

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


nam_jai
2008-05-31 05:45 am UTC (link)
I've escaped it for over a decade online -- I really was on borrowed time!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


nam_jai
2008-05-31 05:46 am UTC (link)
*I had escaped it, I should say. Must mind my tenses now.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]brown_betty
2008-06-02 06:30 am UTC (link)
I just lost that particular cherry on this wank too. Although actually, that's a horrifying metaphor in the context, so NEVER MIND.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]vito_excalibur
2008-06-06 04:04 am UTC (link)
I find it helps to bear in mind that really, this is one of the least traumatizing contexts in which to see a live person's intestines.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]senor_pinata
2008-05-31 05:43 pm UTC (link)
Part of me would like to find the guy in the picture and interview him on the traumatizing internet phenomenon that is goatse.

The other part wants to take a shower.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]explosivefun
2008-06-03 02:35 am UTC (link)
I have to ask, what IS your icon from?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]keri
2008-05-31 06:18 am UTC (link)
You haven't really seen Goatse until you've seen it full-screen sized. Now that's traumatizing.


(I, being a sufferer of Train Wreck Syndrome, had to go look and my first thought was "wow, that's not nearly as gruesome as I recall." The second was "dude, he's so much older than I remember, too. And really skinny.")

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


nam_jai
2008-05-31 03:05 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, it did occur to me that at least the small size of the photo spared me details that perhaps others were scarred by. Small favors!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mcity
2008-05-31 08:48 pm UTC (link)
What if you saw it less than full screen, but still in one of those infinite-popup loops?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mcity
2008-05-31 08:47 pm UTC (link)
Quantum Goatse?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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